life

Victims of Domestic Violence Live Without Fear in Washington

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 8th, 1996 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Because you have devoted so many columns to domestic violence, I thought you might like to know about the Address Confidential Program in Washington state.

Established by the Legislature in 1991, this innovative victims' assistance program is administered by the office of the secretary of state. The goal is to assist domestic violence victims who have permanently relocated to avoid further victimization by keeping their actual locations confidential.

Clients are referred to the program by police departments, community-based victims' assistance programs, and the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Most of these victims are fleeing for their lives; if found, they may be killed. The program helps victims re-establish their lives by providing a substitute address that is accepted by state and local agencies. Participants use the substitute addresses for driver's licenses, marriage licenses and voter registration forms. There is a mail-forwarding service that enables them to keep their actual addresses confidential.

The Address Confidentiality Program is now in its fifth year of operation. Help is offered to men, women and children -- but women involved in the program far outnumber men. Of the 1,061 participants enrolled, 469 are women, 9 are men and the remainder are children. Of the nine men enrolled in the program, eight reside with women who are victims of domestic violence. -- RALPH MUNRO, SECRETARY OF STATE, STATE OF WASHINGTON

DEAR MR. MUNRO: Thank you not only for sharing the news that such a compassionate program is available to the citizens of Washington state, but also for providing some figures on the ratio of women to men who are victims of domestic violence. Other states could learn from your farsighted legislators.

life

Dear Abby for October 08, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 8th, 1996 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Van," and I run a business with responsibilities that take him out of his office and leave me working in our home office. My problem: A few times each year, Van calls me from his car to tell me about some poor hitchhiker he has just picked up. Today it was a 19-year-old temporary laborer wearing a hard hat, on his way home to a nearby city.

Although I realize Van is proud of his ability to help someone, it never fails to terrify me. Unfortunately, my husband thinks my reaction indicates a distrust in his ability to judge a person's character. He insists that he can spot a phony a mile away and he won't budge on this issue.

Abby, my husband has a cellular phone in his car in case he has an emergency or needs to report an accident. But I maintain that Van has a greater responsibility to preserve his safety for his family's sake -- and he shouldn't pick up strangers. We read your column daily. Please help me convince my Good Samaritan he is playing Russian roulette. -- WORRIED

DEAR WORRIED: Your husband may be well-intentioned, but he shouldn't bet his life and the welfare of his family on his ability to judge the intentions of a hitchhiker at 65 miles an hour. Granted, many may be on the up-and-up, but that one in a thousand could be a killer.

life

Dear Abby for October 08, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 8th, 1996 | Letter 3 of 3

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

You Can Run, but You Can't Hide From the IRS

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 7th, 1996 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Will you please answer this question: What happens to someone who does not file an income tax return?

I say the consequences are serious, but my friend Katie doesn't think so. A dinner rests on your answer. -- DOROTHY MACKENZIE, MONTEREY, CALIF.

DEAR DOROTHY: Katie owes you a dinner. I called Mary E. McGuire, EA, president of the National Association of Enrolled Agents (tax experts), who explained:

"When the IRS determines that someone has failed to file a tax return, that person is sent a reminder to file one. If the request is ignored, the IRS will take the information they have and prepare a Substitute for Return (SFR).

"The taxpayer is then billed for the amount shown on the SFR, plus interest and penalties dating from the time the return should have been filed. These penalties and interest accumulate until the tax debt is paid.

"If the bill is ignored, the delinquent taxpayer's salary will be garnisheed and a lien will be placed on his or her property.

"If it's proven that the individual is unable to pay the tax, the IRS may mark the case 'uncollectible.' However, should the IRS learn that the taxpayer has become able to pay the delinquent taxes, they'll be back on your doorstep again.

"Although a few people have been sent to jail for failure to pay, the IRS usually tries to work with taxpayers to resolve the problem."

My advice to people who may be tempted to ignore their tax returns: Resist the temptation and pay the tax when it is due. If you can't pay it all in one lump sum, in most cases the IRS will set up a schedule of payments to help you.

life

Dear Abby for October 07, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 7th, 1996 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Hey! This is a little sister in Virginia Beach. I am 13 years old and I totally agree with the teen driving contract you printed.

I know how my sister drives when our mom is not in the car, so I'm glad Mom read the contract and made my sister sign it.

I just wanted to say thanks. -- LITTLE SISTER

DEAR LITTLE SISTER: How nice of you to let me know. It is gratifying that people of all ages appreciate the importance of the teen driving contract.

life

Dear Abby for October 07, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 7th, 1996 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, a reader objected to the perfumed ads in magazines. I sympathize with her, especially in view of her allergies. Abby, I am sure she is a nice lady with high ethical standards. However, she was out of line to assume that anything that was perfumed came from (or belonged to) a "house of ill repute."

This reminds me of the two gentlemen in adjacent chairs in a barbershop. As the barber started to sprinkle something on the hair of one of the men, he stopped the barber, saying, "Don't put any of that stuff on me -- my wife will think I've been in a parlor of horizontal entertainment!"

The man in the chair next to him said to the barber, "Well, you can sprinkle some on me. My wife has never been in one of those places." -- ARTHUR H. LASSERS, LARGO, FLA.

life

Dear Abby for October 07, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 7th, 1996 | Letter 4 of 4

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

U.S. Senator Works to Raise Awareness of Organ Donation

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 6th, 1996 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Your recent letters concerning the need for organ and tissue donation caught my attention, and I want to take the opportunity to add my voice to those of your other readers. As a former heart and lung transplant surgeon, I witnessed the suffering of my patients firsthand. One in four patients died while waiting for a new heart or lung. As a U.S. senator, I am continuing my efforts to encourage the "gift of life" for nearly 50,000 Americans who await a lifesaving transplant.

As co-chair of the Congressional Task Force on Organ and Tissue Donation, I have had the privilege of working with my colleagues to sponsor both legislation and a number of public awareness initiatives. The response in the Senate has been overwhelming, and more than half of the senators have contacted my office to let me know that they have signed up as organ and tissue donors.

All of our efforts, such as my Gift of Life Congressional Medal Act of 1996, are designed to focus attention on the need for donations at the local level. We in Congress encourage you and your readers to talk to your friends, and most important, your families about your willingness to donate organs and tissue.

If any of your readers have any questions or concerns about organ tissue donation, I would be pleased to hear from them, and help in any way I can. My address is: Sen. Bill Frist, U.S. Senate, Washington, D.C. 20510, or if your readers wish to contact me via their computer networks, my address is: www.senate.gov/~frist/donor.html.

Thank you again, Abby, for all you've done for those needing a lifesaving transplant. -- BILL FRIST, M.D., U.S. SENATOR FROM TENNESSEE

DEAR SEN. FRIST: Thank YOU. And we should all thank the good Lord and medical science that transplants are available to many of those who need them.

READERS: Please search your hearts and add your names to the lists of those who wish to give the "gift of life" so that everyone who needs a transplant will receive one.

life

Dear Abby for October 06, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 6th, 1996 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Your advising "Undecided" to buy a new home when she married a widower was right on! My husband's first marriage ended painfully because his wife, "Betty," was an alcoholic who passed away from her disease two years before we married.

"Al" had considerable equity built up in the house, and I did not have a home of my own, so when we decided to marry, we agreed that staying in his home would be most economical. Al told me that the house held no special memories and that I had free reign to decorate or change it any way I liked.

As the first few months of our marriage passed, I started finding evidence of damage to the house due to Betty's alcoholism. Abby, in our case, walls could talk -- the dents and scratches on the walls brought back painful memories for Al. Then old friends and neighbors began sharing stories of visits in the home while Betty was alive. This made me very uncomfortable. I discussed my feelings with Al, after which we immediately started house hunting.

We have been in our new house for three years, and we couldn't be happier. We left all the old emotional baggage in the other house and are now making new memories in our home. The extra money spent on a new home is insignificant compared to the heartache of trying to exorcise old demons. -- DELIGHTED IN HELENA, MONT.

DEAR DELIGHTED: The Biblical advice not to put new wine into old bottles lest they break (Matthew 9:17) was sage advice. Your happiness is evidence of the wisdom in this. New beginnings have a much better chance without old injuries muddying up the waters.

life

Dear Abby for October 06, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | October 6th, 1996 | Letter 3 of 3

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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