DEAR ABBY: Your recent letters concerning the need for organ and tissue donation caught my attention, and I want to take the opportunity to add my voice to those of your other readers. As a former heart and lung transplant surgeon, I witnessed the suffering of my patients firsthand. One in four patients died while waiting for a new heart or lung. As a U.S. senator, I am continuing my efforts to encourage the "gift of life" for nearly 50,000 Americans who await a lifesaving transplant.

As co-chair of the Congressional Task Force on Organ and Tissue Donation, I have had the privilege of working with my colleagues to sponsor both legislation and a number of public awareness initiatives. The response in the Senate has been overwhelming, and more than half of the senators have contacted my office to let me know that they have signed up as organ and tissue donors.

All of our efforts, such as my Gift of Life Congressional Medal Act of 1996, are designed to focus attention on the need for donations at the local level. We in Congress encourage you and your readers to talk to your friends, and most important, your families about your willingness to donate organs and tissue.

If any of your readers have any questions or concerns about organ tissue donation, I would be pleased to hear from them, and help in any way I can. My address is: Sen. Bill Frist, U.S. Senate, Washington, D.C. 20510, or if your readers wish to contact me via their computer networks, my address is: www.senate.gov/~frist/donor.html.

Thank you again, Abby, for all you've done for those needing a lifesaving transplant. -- BILL FRIST, M.D., U.S. SENATOR FROM TENNESSEE

DEAR SEN. FRIST: Thank YOU. And we should all thank the good Lord and medical science that transplants are available to many of those who need them.

READERS: Please search your hearts and add your names to the lists of those who wish to give the "gift of life" so that everyone who needs a transplant will receive one.

DEAR ABBY: Your advising "Undecided" to buy a new home when she married a widower was right on! My husband's first marriage ended painfully because his wife, "Betty," was an alcoholic who passed away from her disease two years before we married.

"Al" had considerable equity built up in the house, and I did not have a home of my own, so when we decided to marry, we agreed that staying in his home would be most economical. Al told me that the house held no special memories and that I had free reign to decorate or change it any way I liked.

As the first few months of our marriage passed, I started finding evidence of damage to the house due to Betty's alcoholism. Abby, in our case, walls could talk -- the dents and scratches on the walls brought back painful memories for Al. Then old friends and neighbors began sharing stories of visits in the home while Betty was alive. This made me very uncomfortable. I discussed my feelings with Al, after which we immediately started house hunting.

We have been in our new house for three years, and we couldn't be happier. We left all the old emotional baggage in the other house and are now making new memories in our home. The extra money spent on a new home is insignificant compared to the heartache of trying to exorcise old demons. -- DELIGHTED IN HELENA, MONT.

DEAR DELIGHTED: The Biblical advice not to put new wine into old bottles lest they break (Matthew 9:17) was sage advice. Your happiness is evidence of the wisdom in this. New beginnings have a much better chance without old injuries muddying up the waters.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with my mother-in-law. She does not communicate directly with me about family activities. Everything goes through my husband, who often does not tell me right away. He doesn't remember details, and sometimes he forgets completely.

There have been many times I have found out about something at the last minute. Once there was a family get-together, and when I arrived I found out that during this gathering the women had planned to give a baby shower for one of my husband's sisters. I was the only woman without a gift.

There have been countless other miscommunications and mishaps because of this. I've expressed my feelings to my husband and to my mother-in-law, to no avail. She continues to notify only my husband.

I have married brothers and I always discuss social plans with their wives, because my brothers are just like my husband.

This has been going on for many years, and I find myself resenting my mother-in-law more and more. Maybe if you print this, she will see it.

What can I do to change the situation? -- MOTHER-IN-LAW PROBLEMS

DEAR MOTHER-IN-LAW PROBLEMS: Since your mother-in-law ignores your requests, bypass her and develop a better level of communication with your sisters-in-law. Ask them to keep you posted so you have a chance to make appropriate preparations for upcoming events.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Living a Lie," who couldn't decide if he should tell his girlfriend that he had decided to acknowledge his homosexuality or let her believe that he had decided to behave in a straight manner so that they could get married and have a family.

As a gay divorced father who has been there, I strongly advise him not to get married just so he can have the house, kids, station wagon and the family dog. (She would end up getting them all when they divorce later on, and he would still be without what he wants.) I, too, wanted all these things and got them, but I was not happy.

The things he mentioned will not bring him happiness if he is not in a relationship that is physically and emotionally satisfying. I found true happiness only after accepting who I am and started living the life that I was ordained to live. He should be honest with her and tell her he wants to continue to have her as his best friend, but he also wants to be true to his nature and find a gay man with whom he can share his life.

Being gay does not mean that he can't have what he wants. Many gay couples have the house, station wagon and the family dog, and some even have children. Happiness can be found only by being true to yourself and those whom you love. -- GAY AND HAPPY

DEAR ABBY: We are thrilled that you printed information on our National Eye Care Project. After your column appeared, we received more than 3,500 calls to our helpline for information, and referred the majority of callers to volunteer ophthalmologists for eye examinations.

If you stop to think that for even 1 percent of these callers our program may mean the difference between sight and premature blindness, you'll share our excitement. But in fact, many more needy seniors have their vision saved.

Again, thank you so much. Your work can really make the connection between a problem and a solution for vast numbers of people. -- B. THOMAS HUTCHINSON, M.D., CHAIRMAN, NATIONAL EYE CARE PROJECT, SAN FRANCISCO

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from "No More Noxious Ads." I, too, didn't dare to bring some magazines into the house because the perfume was so strong. Then I found out my favorite subscriptions could be sent to me scent-free. I just called 1-800-374-4545 for Ladies Home Journal and 1-800-888-7788 for Good Housekeeping and asked to be put on the "scent-free" list. Other magazines probably offer the same service and most have 800-numbers. -- PAT KELCH, JOELTON, TENN.

DEAR PAT: You're right. Many readers wrote to say that having one's name added to the "scent-free" list is as easy as calling the publisher and requesting it. The toll-free number is usually included along with the publisher's address inside the magazine. Look for the masthead, the section that lists the publisher, editors and other key personnel.

DEAR ABBY: Several nights ago, I was awakened by our 7-month-old Caroline. She has had trouble sleeping lately because of teething pain. Tired and frustrated, I finally laid her in bed between my husband and me, and we all fell back to sleep.

Our mattress had become separated from the headboard, leaving a big gap, large enough for our baby's head to slip through. When we awakened, she was lying on her back with her head hanging backward, pinned between the headboard and mattress. Her muffled cries for help had been barely audible, but miraculously we were able to wake up and save her.

Caroline is our third baby, and we thought we knew all there is to know about safety with children. I would strongly advise parents never to let their infant sleep with them. -- SHAKEN IN SIMPSONVILLE, S.C.

DEAR SHAKEN: Thank you for writing to warn all parents of a freak accident that could result in the loss of their precious infant.

DEAR ABBY: May I share the following with "R.H.G. in Elk Grove, Wis."? She's the lady whose mother refused to wear a hearing aid because she thought it would make her look old.

At age 50 I had a pacemaker installed. One morning after the surgery, I told a co-worker that I was feeling old. She just smiled and said she wanted to introduce me to someone.

The next day she brought in her adorable 4-year-old nephew and said, "Cody, show her your pacemaker." The boy promptly lifted his T-shirt and there was the telltale bulge of a pacemaker in his little abdomen. Then she added, "When he reaches adolescence he will get one over his heart where yours is."

Abby, after seeing that child with a pacemaker, I suddenly didn't feel old any more.

"R.H.G." needs to introduce her mother to some young person who wears a hearing aid. -- MARY ANN SUTTER, DE SOTO, TEXAS

CONFIDENTIAL TO "BURNED UP" IN MILWAUKEE: Please reconsider. Do not call your sister-in-law on the telephone and tell her off. Instead, sit down and write her a letter telling her exactly what you think of her -- which isn't very flattering.

It's a lot easier to tear up something you wrote than to take back what you said.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)