DEAR ABBY: My husband and I adopted three children when they were infants. They are in their teens now and have always known they were adopted.
We have told them that if they wanted to know more about their birth mother, we would tell them. All three have said they had no interest in knowing.
Two years ago, out of the blue, I received a letter stating, "I am your daughter's 'real' mother and I would like to see her."
Abby, this letter was addressed to us at our home. (We had been assured by the attorney who handled the adoption that the biological parents would never have this information.)
I feel angry and betrayed.
We have not shared this letter with our daughter but on the day we received it, we asked her again if she wanted to know more about her background. She laughed and said, "Why would I need it?"
Should I take her at her word? I have the feeling this may come up again. What would you do? -- FEELING GUILTY
DEAR FEELING GUILTY: I would be honest and tell my daughter that I had received a letter from her birth mother expressing a desire to meet her. If the girl still has no interest in meeting the woman, I would ask her to write a short letter to that effect. Forward it to the birth mother and request that she not try to contact your daughter again while she's still a minor.