life

Open Windows at Night Open the Way for Trouble

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 17th, 1996 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I am a retired police detective. Recently I saw a letter in your column from a woman whose husband insisted on sleeping with their bedroom window open.

Your response to her was to recommend that she wear warmer night clothes and accommodate her spouse by allowing the window to remain open.

The overwhelming majority (and by that I mean in excess of 90 percent!) of home burglaries, robberies, assaults, rapes and murders are the result of insecure premises allowing the criminal(s) entry.

I don't know where that woman lives, but it doesn't matter. An open window is an invitation for a criminal to enter. Open windows, while occupants are sleeping and helpless, are an invitation to disaster.

This woman's husband is incredibly ignorant, selfish or uncaring. No responsible man would expose his loved ones to danger in this manner. If the woman can't depend upon her husband to protect her, and if he doesn't care enough about himself, she should dump him. -- C.M. MARTIN, POLICE LIEUTENANT (RETIRED), BERKELEY, CALIF.

DEAR LT. MARTIN: Thank you for reminding my readers that an open window can be an open invitation to danger.

life

Dear Abby for September 17, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 17th, 1996 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Ms. Autumn R. Vogel of Dallas wrote you that she was "teed off" and "frightened" enough to return home because while she was jogging, she received some "uninvited, crude attention" from some men.

Ms. Vogel, I have observed many females jogging in my community, and have also noted what their jogging attire consists of. It leaves very little to the imagination, and in my opinion, 99 percent of these females are seeking the attention that these outfits bring. Therefore, as a man, I will look at them. I can only surmise that your jogging attire is skintight as well. If you do not want the attention that comes with these skintight outfits -- don't jog in them.

Ms. Vogel went on to state, "... mothers, please teach your sons that sexual harassment of any kind is wrong." Ms. Vogel, if you truly believe this, why limit the plea to just sons? Are you saying it's acceptable for females to sexually harass men? Remember, many of you "ladies" have demanded total equality. This equality should go both ways! -- ROGER FROM WALNUT CREEK, CALIF.

DEAR ROGER: I'm sure Ms. Vogel would agree that there is nothing wrong with a man's "looking" -- what frightened her were the whistles, catcalls and comments she received from a group of strange men whom she perceived as threatening.

Although many women (and men) sometimes dress to attract attention, vulgar comments are inexcusable under any circumstances.

life

Dear Abby for September 17, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 17th, 1996 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I am very happily married to a wonderful man whom I trust completely. This is the second marriage for both of us, so we want it to last.

Our problem is not with ex-spouses, but with his ex-girlfriend. Since we have been married, she drops by while I am at work and cries all her troubles to him. He has tried everything from telling her he doesn't want her stopping by to not answering the door, but she still continues to come by.

My question: What can we do to stop this unwelcome company? -- PUZZLED IN TERRE HAUTE, IND.

DEAR PUZZLED: Your husband should continue not answering the door when she drops by, and should be "too busy to talk" when she calls.

If the woman doesn't stop making a pest of herself, the logical next step would be to have your attorney write her a letter informing her that she is guilty of harassment -- the legal term for persistently annoying another person.

life

Dear Abby for September 17, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 17th, 1996 | Letter 4 of 4

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Industry Says Balloon Danger to Animals Is Overinflated

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 16th, 1996 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I love animals and I am concerned about our environment. I am also a responsible business person deeply involved in the balloon industry. I have served on industry boards and have testified before my state legislators regarding balloons.

I am surprised you printed the letter from "Friend of the Environment." Several years ago this type of balloon story made the headlines across the nation. It pulled at the heartstrings of animal lovers. The information was totally inaccurate and the retraction stories did not make the big headlines; they were buried.

To date, there has been no case of a death of any mammal, fish, reptile or bird that was directly attributed to the ingestion of a latex balloon fragment. Latex balloons are 100 percent biodegradable. They decompose in the environment at about the same rate as an oak leaf decomposes. They are not "colored bits of shriveled plastic," but a product made from natural tree sap.

Research shows that when latex balloons are released, many will rise about five miles and burst into spaghetti-like pieces that return to Earth dispersed over many miles. We do know that animals eat these soft slivers of rubber, but the evidence indicates the pieces pass harmlessly through the animals' digestive systems.

During the 1994 International Beach Cleanup, sponsored by the Center for Marine Conservation, volunteers scoured 5,200 miles of shoreline and found only 36,047 balloon fragments as compared to 1,283,718 cigarette butts and 122,306 plastic foam cups. Overall, balloons accounted for less than 1 percent of all beach litter.

It is unfortunate that someone as influential as you failed to check the validity of the information that was sent to you. Please set the record straight. -- TERRI ADISHIAN, VICE PRESIDENT, BALLOON WHOLESALERS INTERNATIONAL

DEAR MS. ADISHIAN: Although I received many letters from irate members of the balloon industry, I still have reservations about balloon releases. I spoke with Tom Isley, wildlife manager at the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources, who explained that documenting balloon-caused deaths in the wild is difficult because once dead, the animals are quickly eaten by other animals. He mentioned that there ARE cases of animal deaths due to balloon ingestion. A biology professor at St. Cloud University in St. Cloud, Minn., reported that he had examined a female mallard who had swallowed a deflated balloon. Most of the balloon had passed into its gizzard, but the knot didn't and the duck couldn't eat. After drinking a little water, it died.

Another reader, Lisa Hays of St. Louis, also wrote to express concern about balloon releases. Affixed to her letter was a large fragment of pink balloon -- its red ribbon still attached -- she had taken from a bird she had seen pecking at it. And while I'm on the subject of potential hazards, read on for a hair-raiser:

DEAR ABBY: Bravo for printing the letter about balloons. While a friend of mine was driving on a highway one rainy night, he was horrified to see what appeared to be a human head loom up in his headlights. He slammed on his brakes and skidded to a stop beyond where he had seen the figure but felt no impact. Shakily getting out of his car, he saw a balloon floating a few feet above the roadway.

It's obvious what could have happened had my friend skidded off the road, or been rear-ended by a car behind him. -- CATHERINE A. HURLBUTT, DENVER

DEAR READERS: So there you have it. I have no objections to balloons provided they are not released into the environment. How much safer it would be to keep balloons tethered so that following the event, they could be delivered as gifts to nursing homes, hospitals and hospices.

life

Dear Abby for September 16, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 16th, 1996 | Letter 2 of 2

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Noise Complaints Speak Volumes About Neighbors

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 15th, 1996 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: Regarding complaints about construction workers who play their portable radios while working on homes, which the neighbors found annoying: In Marin County, Calif., the Planning Department has a standard condition prohibiting work before 8 a.m. and after 6 p.m. on weekdays -- and always on weekends.

Nevertheless, some folks disregard the rules, in which case a formal letter of complaint is sent to the Building Department.

I recently built a lovely home, and when I hired the contractor, I informed him that my rules were: no dogs, no radios, no smoking and no blocking the driveway. I was living on the property at the time and didn't want to be disturbed, nor did I want to disturb my neighbors.

The contractor was wonderful and abided by all the rules. When the house was finished, I threw a nice party for all the workmen. -- ANNE S. IN MARIN COUNTY

DEAR ANNE S.: Congratulations on your successful housewarming. Yours was not the only letter I received in reaction to the letter about the remodeling project that upset the neighbors. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am the general contractor for the project the neighbors complained about in the letter you published on July 9. It was the third time the homeowners had hired me to work on their property, and the complaints from your writers, the couple to the east, came as no great surprise.

The project was to be finished by June 15, but due to unforeseen problems, completion was delayed one week. I, personally, would have been thrilled if my workers had started before 7 a.m. or agreed to work seven days a week, as it would have enabled me to meet the original deadline.

True, the workers had radios. On most of the occasions when those neighbors came to complain about them, the volume was so low I could barely hear it -- and I was on the property. Once, the offending radio turned out to be in the master bath of the house on the other side of their property.

Abby, Los Angeles has noise ordinances, and this couple called the police at least twice a week. Each time, they were informed that no bounds were being overstepped. Throughout the remodeling I frequently encountered, but never received a complaint, from the neighbors on the west side of the house. Nor did I ever hear a peep from the tenants of the three-story apartment building to the rear! In fact, I've since been asked to bid on similar projects by two other homeowners who live on the same block, which gives me confidence in the lack of intrusion felt by the other neighbors.

I was astounded to see the whole situation in your column. But it answered a long-standing question that many of us in the high-tech world wonder about: "Can all those letters in Dear Abby be from real people?" -- CHRISTIANNE CLARK, CLARK CONSTRUCTION AND DESIGN GROUP, CULVER CITY, CALIF.

DEAR CHRISTIANNE: There are usually two sides to every story, and in the interest of fairness, I thought my readers should see yours. Since the police were summoned to the worksite semiweekly and found nothing out of order, it seems that you were apparently not only innocent of creating noise pollution, you were well within the limits of the law.

life

Dear Abby for September 15, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 15th, 1996 | Letter 2 of 2

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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