DEAR READERS: A few weeks ago, I printed a letter from a counselor in Pasadena, Calif., who was alarmed by the number of teen-agers who get pregnant. At her suggestion, I asked my readers to tell me how they just said "No" to sex. I was unprepared for the flood of letters that poured in from women of all ages (and even some men) eager to share not only their ideas, but also their experiences. I regret that space limitations prevent me from printing all of their letters. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: In college in the mid-'70s, I heard what I considered the best response ever. A friend of mine rejected the advances of a classmate by informing him that she had the opportunity to inherit a million dollars -- but only if she remained a virgin until age 25. After college, I used that ploy on more than one occasion (adjusting the age upward as necessary), and it worked for me, too. One young man even offered to help me remain a virgin if I'd cut him in for a percentage.

But the way my daughter handled the situation was even better. She recently attended her second junior high school dance, where she was introduced to a young man from another high school. While dancing and conversing, the boy became "grabby." My daughter mentioned it to me at breakfast the next morning, and I asked how she handled it.

She said, "I told him I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship and furthermore he was making me very uncomfortable, so to please stop it!" He promptly stopped. They continued dancing and talking, and a week later the boy called to invite her to a dance at his school.

This proves she didn't have to be rude or lie; the truth works, and good guys appreciate honesty and nice girls.

Young women shouldn't fear that they'll lose a good man if they refuse inappropriate sexual advances. The guys that "just don't get it" are not the ones a girl could have a meaningful relationship with anyway. -- FEMALE ATTORNEY, MELBOURNE, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: You asked how to say no to sex. For me it was easy. I told them, "If I have sex with you and get pregnant, you'll leave me. But my mother will KILL me." It worked every time, and the bonus was they continued to date me and respect me. -- BEEBIE IN PHOENIX

DEAR ABBY: As a Christian, I don't believe Jesus approves of premarital sex. So when I was dating, I reminded myself that Jesus was sitting there with me -- and I would ask myself if he would approve of what I was doing. Sure, it was hard sometimes. But I figured if he would rise from the dead for me, it was the very least I could do for him. Needless to say, I remained a virgin until I married.

Even if you have already slept with someone, it's never too late to say no -- and after that, don't ever put yourself in a tempting situation again.

The campaign called "True Love Waits" is a great way for young people to make the commitment to either remain a virgin or to become "secondary virgins." A secondary virgin is one who promises to abstain from sex frOm that point on until marriage. Most Baptist churches (as well as other denominations) have information on this campaign. Spread the word, Abby. It's worth the wait. -- GLAD I WAITED IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR ABBY: Diplomacy is nice, but in matters of sex, it's better to be blunt. "No" is all you need to say, and "Because I don't want to" is the only argument you need to give.

On three separate occasions, different men told me I needed to see a psychologist and get some therapy. Apparently they believed that any woman who would pass up sex with them must be emotionally disturbed.

I'm now 29 years old and still a virgin. I haven't had to deal with gonorrhea, genital herpes, chlamydia, pregnancy or AIDS. In spite of the fact that I still haven't seen a therapist, I'm very happy.

As for the three men who were so concerned about my mental health, I never saw any of them again. I can't even remember their names. -- SHARON IN STATE COLLEGE, PA.

DEAR READERS: More on this tomorrow ...

DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are having a big fight with her dentist. My wife is getting a full set of dentures. All her life she was ashamed of her teeth because they were yellowish, and now she wants snow-white teeth, but her dentist won't give them to her. He says snow-white teeth look unnatural. Abby, she doesn't care; she says movie stars have snow-white teeth and they look beautiful, and she wants beautiful white teeth too.

Meanwhile, her dentist keeps telling her that his job is to give her teeth that will look natural, and if she suddenly comes out with snow-white teeth, people will know the teeth are dentures, and they'll think her dentist did a poor job. We are deadlocked. Should a dentist give a patient what she wants or what he thinks she ought to have?

We live in Maine, but if we have to go to California to get what we want, we will go there. And I wouldn't begrudge the cost, either. Help us. -- UNHAPPY SENIOR CITIZENS

DEAR UNHAPPY: The dentist discharged his professional obligation when he told your wife that the kind of teeth she wants will look unnatural. Having said this, and being overruled, he should give her what she wants. If he refuses, there are plenty of other dentists in Maine.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is the head of a large corporation. He does not drink hard liquor, but very few people know this because at parties he takes one drink and pretends to sip it all evening.

He watches his junior executives' drinking habits very carefully, and they are promoted accordingly. Anyone who takes more than two drinks is passed over for promotion -- no matter how good a job he does.

I feel that my husband should have a talk with the man and give him a chance to cut down. He says, "No, once a drunk, always a drunk." He says it takes guts not to drink in today's society, and he needs men with guts to run the business right. What is your opinion? -- SCARSDALE

DEAR SCARSDALE: If everyone who takes more than two drinks is (as your husband states) a "drunk," there are a lot of "drunks" effectively running a lot of businesses.

I agree, it takes guts not to drink in today's society, but one who takes a drink publicly and "pretends" to drink it so no one will know he's a non-drinker is lacking guts himself. If guts is the issue, the person who says, "No thanks, I'm an alcoholic" has far more guts than your holier-than-thou abstainer.

DEAR ABBY: I am an attractive 66-year-old widow. I've dated a number of eligible men and have had many proposals, but there is one I would really like to marry.

He is 72, but looks much younger because he keeps in shape and has a young and healthy outlook on life. He says he "loves" me, but he will not propose marriage because he had surgery 10 years ago that terminated his sex life.

I told him it didn't matter to me because I never placed very much importance on sex anyway, which is the truth.

He insists that I was only being "kind," and eventually I would feel cheated. I swore to him on a stack of Bibles that I meant what I said. How can I convince this wonderful man that I want to marry him -- regardless? -- AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR AUSTIN: Get a higher stack of Bibles.

DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.

DEAR ABBY: My 5-year-old daughter, Penny, is in a gifted children's class in public school. She has a classmate, Randy, who is a handsome, kind little fellow, but Penny says that no one likes him because he is dirty. She says he wears the same dirty jeans and T-shirt, his tennis shoes are holey, the laces untied, he never wears socks or underwear and he could really use a bath.

I told her that we like or dislike people because of the way they behave, not the way they dress, the color of their skin, the way they wear their hair, or what church they go or don't go to.

Penny likes Randy and has become his friend. (She's the only friend he has.)

I've considered writing Randy's mother a note telling her in a nice way that her son is being discriminated against because of his neglected appearance. I've also considered buying the boy some new clothes and underwear. Or should I just mind my own business? Maybe you have a suggestion on how to help Randy. -- OPEN FOR SUGGESTIONS

DEAR OPEN: Because you know nothing about Randy's home life (he may not even have a mother), express your concern to Randy's teacher. A child who comes to school dirty, ill-clad and so obviously neglected needs help. School authorities are in close touch with agencies that provide assistance to abused and neglected youngsters. A child in need is everybody's business. Thank you for caring.

DEAR ABBY: Our 21-year-old grandson, who has always been the apple of our eye, has just announced that he is the "proud" father of a baby boy born to his 20-year-old girlfriend. They are living together, he has a good job, but no mention has been made of any forthcoming marriage. They just say they are "engaged."

My wife and I have decided that until they get married we are not giving them a wedding present. We gave our granddaughter a generous cash wedding gift after her wedding, and we are prepared to do the same for this grandson, but not until -- regardless of how many illegitimate children he has!

Also, do you think a baby gift is in order for an illegitimate child? -- UNCERTAIN IN MINNESOTA

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Wedding gifts are for couples who are wedded -- not merely bedded. But do send a gift for the baby. And please don't label him "illegitimate." There are no illegitimate children -- only illegitimate parents.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I just returned from our first vacation without our kids. We've been married for 13 years, have four kids, and it was a real treat.

My wife's parents saw us off at the airport, and just as we were taking off, my mother-in-law asked, "Did you make a will in case something happens to both of you at the same time?" Then she laughed as though it was some kind of joke.

Of course we hadn't made a will. I realize there's always a one-in-a-million chance that our plane would crash and we'd both be killed, but her question stayed on my mind during our whole vacation, and I have to tell you, it sort of spoiled it for me.

Wasn't that a lousy thing for her to say? -- STILL UPSET

DEAR UPSET: Her timing was lousy. But the idea was a good one.

DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)