DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.

DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I were married 31 years ago, he gave me the smallest diamond I had ever seen. I was glad to get any diamond at the time, but as the years passed, my husband became more prosperous and I kept hoping he would replace it with a larger one. He never did.

On my 25th wedding anniversary, I gave him a fine piece of jewelry with money I had saved out of my household allowance. He gave me 25 roses.

Soon after, I lost the diamond out of my ring. My husband promised to buy me another one, but he didn't. When we passed a jewelry store, I'd stop to look in the window, but my husband would walk away.

Last year on our 30th anniversary, my husband handed me a tiny box. When I opened it, I found my old ring with the tiny diamond replaced. I tried to put it on my finger, but I had gained some weight and it wouldn't fit. I put it back in the box, where it's been ever since.

What should I do? Have my ring made larger and wear it?

My husband could well afford a bigger diamond, and I feel like a poor relative among my friends who have lovely jewelry. -- LIKES DIAMONDS (BIG)

DEAR LIKES: Face it. Your husband is not likely to buy you a bigger diamond unless you ask for one. If it's that important to you and he can afford it, ask him. Besides, diamonds are not only a girl's best friend, they're also a good investment.

DEAR ABBY: Please help settle a disagreement we are having in our family. My grandson sent out his high school graduation announcements before he knew that he didn't have enough credits to graduate.

He received many lovely graduation gifts, including some nice checks from relatives. I say all the gifts (and of course the checks) should be returned because he didn't really graduate. His mother (my daughter) insists that he is entitled to keep the gifts because he completed 12 years of schooling.

Do you think my daughter is right, and I should butt out? -- ILLINOIS GRANNY

DEAR GRANNY: Your grandson should keep the gifts and send thank-you notes explaining that he did not graduate with his class, but he plans to make up the deficient credits and earn his diploma eventually -- if indeed he intends to do so. Otherwise, he should return the gifts.

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday my boss showed me a picture of an elegant sofa in a current magazine, and said if I could guess the price of it within $200 he would give me the $200. (He had seen this sofa in a Beverly Hills store.)

When I guessed $2,800, he looked as though he'd been shot. He said the price of the sofa was $3,000, but he refused to give me the $200, saying that my guess was just $1 low!

According to my calculation, $2,800 is within $200 of $3,000. Please answer in your column. If I am wrong, I will throw in the towel and be a good sport.

I have been my boss's faithful Girl Friday for four years. Please don't mention his name or mine. -- LAKEWOOD, CALIF.

DEAR LAKEWOOD: I don't know how your boss figures, but I figure he owes you $200.

(P.S. And he should throw in a $50 bonus for protecting his identity.)

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law and her husband celebrated their 49th wedding anniversary last August. Because of my sister-in-law's poor health, her daughter is planning a party to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next month, which is premature by nearly a whole year.

I am reluctant to accept the invitation because I don't think it's proper to celebrate an occasion that has not yet occurred.

I grew up under the old moral code and still believe in it. Right or wrong? -- PUZZLED IN ELMHURST, ILL.

DEAR PUZZLED: Wrong! I think it's more "moral" to be kind and prematurely generous than to go by the book and risk being too late.

DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.

DEAR ABBY: I need help with a problem I can't discuss with anyone I know. I'm a 70-year-old widow, in good health and living in my own home, which is paid for. A man about my age has asked me to marry him, and I've said yes. He lives in another state in an apartment building he owns. He's willing to move to my town and even to my home.

My problem: Shouldn't we have a financial arrangement beforehand? He has grown children and so do I. I don't want his money, but I think he should assume my financial support when I marry him. How do I bring this up?

Should we get a lawyer? I'm afraid that would look like I didn't trust him. I do, but I want my children's inheritance left intact.

Thanks for any advice you can offer. -- SECOND TIME AROUND

DEAR SECOND: You most certainly should have a lawyer draw up a prenuptial agreement beforehand stating clearly who pays for what after you marry as well as what kind of settlement there will be should the marriage end in divorce.

You should bring it up in plain English, unless you can communicate better in another language.

He's no doubt just as eager to have his financial responsibility (and yours) clearly defined before he says, "I do."

DEAR ABBY: I would like your opinion of something my fiance said last night. I asked him if he had ever changed a baby's diaper, and he replied, "Absolutely not; the thought of it repulses me."

Abby, I am not saying this particular task should be shared equally between us, but I would like to think that if we had a child and I happened to be away for a few hours, my husband would change our baby's diaper if necessary.

What do you think? -- DECEMBER BRIDE

DEAR BRIDE: I think there should be some changes made before you have children. And for openers, one should be your fiance's attitude.

DEAR ABBY: I am the younger of two sons in a family business. My father, who runs the business, is a very impatient man. I can never do anything to please him. He finds fault with everything I do. When I try to defend myself, he just throws up his hands in disgust and walks away.

There's not a day that passes in my life that he doesn't find fault with me. I am losing confidence in myself. I do my very best, and all I get is verbal abuse. I just can't tolerate it anymore.

What should I do? -- M. IN BALTIMORE

DEAR M.: Get another job. Or find a doctor who treats ulcers.

DEAR ABBY: There is a question I have been wanting to ask you for a long time.

What do you say when some idiot comes up to you, just stands there and says, "Where have I seen you before?" -- BUGGED IN BUTTE

DEAR BUGGED: I reply, "I don't know. Where have you been?"

DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.

DEAR ABBY: I am planning to be married next month, and what should be the happiest time in my life has turned into one of my biggest problems. The reason is my mother -- or more specifically, her drinking. She has ruined every affair she's attended.

Last year at my sister's wedding, Mother:

1. Propositioned the judge who performed the ceremony.

2. Started a screaming argument with my sister.

3. Punched me out.

4. Went on a crying jag.

5. Fell on the dance floor.

6. Got mad at the people who were trying to help her and locked herself in the coat closet.

Mother is a darling person when she's sober, but when she drinks, she's impossible. Afterward, when we tell her how she behaved, she doesn't believe us.

I'm planning my wedding half-heartedly, knowing my mother will ruin it. I love my mother, Abby, and can't have a wedding and not invite her. We are considering eloping, but if we do, we will want a reception afterward to celebrate our marriage, and if Mother comes, she will turn it into a disaster.

What should we do? We're not kids. I'm 42, the groom is 52 and Mother is 63. -- SOMETHING BLUE

DEAR BLUE: Talk candidly to your mother. And tell her that only if she agrees to refrain from drinking on your wedding day will you have a wedding. If she agrees, enlist the cooperation of a few close friends and/or relatives to make sure she either keeps her promise or is removed. It's not fair that you should have to elope or forgo a wedding because your mother can't tolerate alcohol.

I recommend Al-Anon. It teaches friends and families of alcoholics how to deal with the problem. And if you really love your mother, you will view her problem as an illness and do all you can to help her.

DEAR ABBY: I don't have a problem. I have a solution to what used to be a major headache in my life. Perhaps others may benefit should you care to print this.

My 90-year-old mother has been confined to a nursing home for the past three years. She is alert and enjoys relatively good health. Her major disability is that she has become quite deaf, but she refuses to wear a hearing aid because she says it will make her look "old." Consequently, visits with her always end up in an angry shouting match, and communication with friends and family has come to a halt. Now Mother sits alone in a silent, frustrating world.

Recently I hit upon a partial solution. Each day I mail her a "bulletin," bringing her news of the family, cheery comments on life and absolutely no bad news. I type six at a time (one can improvise on coming events), using large uppercase letters and double spacing for easy reading. It takes only one hour a week -- a small price for the joy it gives my mother. The results can't be measured. She gets a little present every day the mail is delivered and is no longer a nonperson.

My daily bulletins do not replace personal visits; they make those visits more pleasant. -- R.H.G., ELM GROVE, WIS.

DEAR R.H.G.: I hope you will mention in one of your "bulletins" that a hearing aid does not make a person look "old." It's hardly visible, but if it's noticed at all, it's evidence that the wearer is doing his or her part to stay in communication with the outside world.

And how very thoughtful of you to see that your mother gets something in the mail from you every day.

DEAR ABBY: My mother and I are in total disagreement, and here's why:

My brother and I are both married, and we each have two young children. My mother bought my brother's kids beautiful outfits for their birthdays, but for my kids, she bought a couple of yards of material and told me to make them outfits.

I thought this was very unfair and I told her so. She said it wasn't unfair because my brother's wife doesn't sew and I do. I'll leave it up to you and your readers, Abby. Do you think this was fair? I like to sew, but not that much. -- DISAPPOINTED

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: It wasn't fair, and your disappointment was justified. Youngsters look forward to receiving birthday gifts, and a couple of yards of material isn't nearly as much fun to unwrap as a new outfit.

DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)