DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.
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DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.
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DEAR ABBY: I don't know if you remember me or not. I wrote to you a year ago about my weight problem, and you gave me some really good advice. I went to Overeaters Anonymous. So far I've lost 55 pounds, and I'm still losing. But now I have another problem.
Since I've got a pretty good figure, guys have started noticing me, and Abby, I can't handle it. I'm 18 and never dated before because I was such a mess, but with guys paying attention to me all of a sudden, I'm a wreck! I hated being fat and ignored, but at least I wasn't hassled by dudes trying to get me into bed. All the guys I know are after only one thing.
My girlfriends say if I don't put out on the first date, I shouldn't expect a second date. Please help me. -- HASSLED IN ST. PAUL
DEAR HASSLED: Your girlfriends are wrong. Hang on to your high standards and say goodbye to the dudes who try to rush you into bed. There's something worse than being ignored -- it's too much attention from guys who are after only one thing.
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DEAR ABBY: "No Names" wrote, "My fiancee and I fight and argue every time we see each other, but whenever I suggest calling off our Christmas wedding, she cries and carries on, saying she'll be humiliated before her friends."
You said, "Call it off anyway!" You are absolutely right. I know. I learned the hard way.
My fiance and I were both 21. We fought constantly. Several times he suggested we call off the wedding, or at least postpone it for a while, but I insisted on going through with it because I didn't want to face the embarrassment of having to tell people that I wasn't getting married after all.
Today, after two years of a miserable marriage, I am five months pregnant and in the process of getting a divorce. Obviously, we never should have gone through with the marriage in the first place. I hope "No Names" takes your advice. -- TOLD YOU SO IN DALLAS
DEAR TOLD YOU: Thanks for the reaffirmation. A broken engagement is usually embarrassing, sometimes humiliating and always painful. It can also be costly. But it's not nearly as painful and costly as divorce -- especially if there are children to consider.
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DEAR ABBY: Concerning inappropriate questions asked of a widow at the funeral of her husband, I think mine tops them all:
At the funeral of my 67-year-old father, my poor grieving mother was approached by an officer of the burial society to which my parents belonged, and instead of offering her solace, he asked, "Would you please give me a deposit on the grave next to your husband so I can reserve it for you?" -- VIVIAN OF BAYSIDE HILLS, N.Y.
DEAR VIVIAN: Your story takes the prize. In spades.
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DEAR ABBY: I am expecting a baby in about three months and have been very careful not to smoke, drink or even consume caffeine during my pregnancy. I hope to continue to give our baby the most healthful environment possible after he (or she) is born.
The problem is my mother-in-law. She is a heavy smoker, and I would prefer that she not subject our baby to her secondhand smoke. Studies have confirmed the theory that babies who have been exposed to secondhand smoke have a higher incidence of respiratory illness.
My mother-in-law smokes one cigarette after another and she's anything but gracious when she's told her smoke is bothersome or irritating.
After our baby comes, my husband and I intend to ask her to please step outside if she wants to smoke. But what if it's raining or dark outside? -- MRS. S., PARKDALE, ORE.
DEAR MRS. S.: If it's raining, give her an umbrella. And if it's dark, give her a flashlight.
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DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.
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For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for six years to a wonderful man. Although I have hinted broadly on many occasions that I would dearly love some acknowledgment of my cooking, I have yet to receive one word of appreciation for anything I have prepared since our marriage.
I know he enjoys good food because he has mentioned from time to time that his first wife was a great cook. I have baked cakes and pies from scratch, made gourmet dishes, casseroles, stews, pot roasts and turkey dinners with all the trimmings, with nary one "That was good, dear."
I am considering serving him dog food, scooped out of the can and garnished with a few steamed onions and a sprig of parsley, just to see if I get a reaction.
I know a man could have far worse faults than being totally indifferent to a wife who knocks herself out nightly in the kitchen, but one gets tired of buying groceries, planning menus and preparing fine meals for someone who never utters a word of appreciation. Sign me ... UNAPPRECIATED IN LONG BEACH
DEAR UNAPPRECIATED: A friend of mine had the same problem. In desperation, she wrote the following message and presented it to her husband with his coffee after dinner:
"The chef respectfully requests that you comment on the dinner you have just consumed. Would you rate it: Excellent? Good? Fair? Poor?
"Failure to comply with this request could cause the dining room to discontinue its service."
Needless to say, she received a generous outpouring of compliments -- and still does. Try it.
DEAR ABBY: My husband's former wife, Velma, with whom we have remained on fairly good terms, invited us to her home for a party. She is now married to a very well-to-do man.
Velma told me it was going to be a costume party, so my husband and I dressed up like a couple of rabbits.
Imagine our surprise when the butler opened the door and ushered us into a room filled with men in tuxedos and women in stunning gowns! We felt like a couple of fools. Velma laughed and said she thought it was funny. I was very upset to have been made the butt of her joke, so I got myself a glass of punch and spilled it on her gown. Then I laughed and told her I thought it was funny. However, she didn't see anything funny about it.
My husband isn't speaking to me, and he thinks I owe Velma an apology. What should I do? -- A WIFE IN NEED
DEAR WIFE: Send Velma a bunch of carrots, and tell her you're sorry.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 21-year-old single female in love with a 26-year-old male (I'll call Freddy) whom I hope to marry one day. Freddy and I have been dating for a year and have talked about marriage, but there is nothing definite yet.
The problem is Freddy's roommate, Ralph. Ralph's girlfriend, Debbie, moved in with him and Freddy. I'm not exactly jealous, but I hate the idea of the three of them living together in that little apartment. It's only big enough for two, and it must be very crowded and uncomfortable. Freddy says Debbie is only staying there until she and Ralph get married, but no date has been set yet and they don't seem in any hurry.
Abby, if Ralph and Debbie want to live together, don't you think they should get their own place? All my friends think it's the pits, and they keep asking me how I can let it go on. I'm really upset and don't know what to do. Is there some way I can get Debbie out of there? Or should Freddy move out? Please advise. -- IN THE MIDDLE IN MIDLAND
DEAR IN: As I see it, you are not in the middle. You are more appropriately on the outside -- Freddy is in the middle. If he's crowded and uncomfortable, he should move out. The decision is his, not yours.
DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR READERS: I'll be on vacation between Aug. 18 and Aug. 31. Don't panic -- I've selected some of my favorite letters from past years to fill the gap. I hope you enjoy them.
DEAR ABBY: Brian (not his real name) and I met when we were 15 and 14. We were "sweet" on each other throughout the summer, but went our separate ways later in the fall. We kept in touch for a while, but eventually we lost all contact. That was 12 years ago. I am 26 now, graduated from college, married and "Mama" to two young sons.
In our community newspaper, I read that Brian and his wife have moved into our neighborhood. Considering that we live in a large city, New Orleans, I was quite astonished that someone I knew years ago would end up in our neighborhood.
My first impulse was to get in touch with Brian and rejoice at renewing an old friendship; then I wondered if it would be too forward and possibly be looked upon as improper by his wife. I'd like to be hospitable, but don't want my actions to be misinterpreted. What would you do? -- DIANA
DEAR DIANA: Since you now live in the same neighborhood, give it a little more time -- you may run into each other. If you don't, I see no harm in writing a note to him and his wife welcoming them to the neighborhood and inviting them to call you and your husband.
After all, you were only "sweet" on each other for one summer when you were a couple of kids.
DEAR ABBY: While our 39-year-old daughter is no raving beauty, she is better looking than most of the girls whose pictures you see in bridal veils in the Sunday papers. She is very intelligent and has lots of dates, and I know she has turned down several good marriage proposals.
When I ask her what she is waiting for, she says, "Don't rush me, Mom."
Is there any way I can get her to hurry up and think seriously of marrying and settling down? I am 55 years old and would like to see a few grandchildren before I leave this earth. -- IMPATIENT IN ILLINOIS
DEAR IMPATIENT: Many moms who have rushed their daughters into marriage see more of their grandchildren than they expected to -- they're raising them because the marriage didn't work out. If you're eager to see things hatch, raise chickens.
DEAR ABBY: I am a responsible 22-year-old woman living with my parents. I am going away for a month's vacation, and my problem is my parents and my guinea pigs. My parents have told me that the minute I am out the door they are getting rid of my guinea pigs.
I've told them that they won't have to do one thing because I've already made arrangements with a girlfriend to come by every day to feed them and clean their cages.
Abby, they still insist that the guinea pigs are going as soon as I leave. I have explained that the guinea pigs are my pets and not their property to do with as they please. Also, I said that I think I am old enough to take care of my affairs, but it is obvious that they have no respect for me or my wishes.
If they get rid of my guinea pigs while I'm gone, I will never forgive them. Tell me what you think should be done, and who is right. -- NO RESPECT
DEAR NO RESPECT: "Miss Piggy's Guide to Life" might be helpful here. I think you're right, but it's your parents' home and their wishes will prevail. If you want to be absolutely certain that you don't lose your pets, ask your girlfriend if she will look after them at her place. If that's not possible, find some other temporary home for your guinea pigs.
DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include your name, area code and telephone number.
For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
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