DEAR ABBY: Many thanks to you, and to Wanda Foster, for promoting closed-captioning to assist hearing-impaired and normal-hearing people while watching television. Many rental videos are also closed-captioned, which has tremendously enhanced my ability to enjoy the top hits.

You referred readers who have difficulty hearing to a physician for a hearing examination. However, please clarify that it is the AUDIOLOGIST who tests for hearing loss, NOT a physician. The audiologist determines whether or not a hearing loss exists, in which part of the ear the damage is located, and whether or not the person is a candidate for a hearing aid. The audiologist selects and fits appropriate hearing aids (and other amplification devices) and assists hearing-impaired individuals and family members to overcome communication breakdowns that occur as a result of hearing loss.

Audiologists are autonomous professionals, have a master's or doctorate degree, have been certified by a national organization, and in most states are licensed to provide audiological and/or hearing aid services to the public.

It may be true that many insurance companies first require a referral from a physician before covering the expense of audiological services, but consumers should be aware that it is the expertise of the audiologist that will gain them hearing help. -- AUDIOLOGIST WITH HEARING LOSS, MESA, ARIZ.

DEAR AUDIOLOGIST: I hear you loud and clear! Thank you for an important message.

P.S. For those who wrote because you are unsure of what closed-captioning is, it appears as dialogue across the bottom of the TV screen, allowing viewers to read what is being said. TV sets manufactured after 1993 have built-in decoders, so if your TV is pre-1993, you may need to purchase a decoder at your local electronics store.

VITAC (Vital Access through Captioning), one of several companies providing closed captioning services, recently sent me some interesting figures: In addition to individuals with hearing impairment, closed-captioning appeals to 45 million people learning English as a second language, 33 million elementary school children learning to read, and 27 million adults trying to improve their literacy.

DEAR ABBY: Recently while dining at a restaurant, my wife and I saw something strange. Another diner lifted her cocktail glass from her paper napkin. She sprinkled salt on the napkin, then did the same thing with her escort's glass and napkin.

We were perplexed by this, but didn't want to bother them to ask. Do you have any idea why someone would do this? -- JUST CURIOUS

DEAR JUST CURIOUS: A cold drink causes the glass to "sweat," and the moisture absorbed by the paper napkin causes the two to stick together. If the dry napkin is first sprinkled with a bit of salt, the glass can be lifted without the soggy napkin clinging to it (and dripping all over the table).

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: "Adam" and I have been married for one year. Prior to our marriage, we lived in separate apartments. Adam had two cats, I had three, and together we bought a dog. Now that we're married and living together, the pet population in our household is overwhelming. I have conveyed my frustration about this to my husband many times.

Well, four months ago, Adam decided to get another dog! I strongly objected, but he brought it home anyway, promising to take care of it 100 percent by himself. Instead, he lies on the couch watching TV and pays no attention to the new puppy, which isn't housebroken. He refuses to take either dog for walks, bathe them or clean the dog run. He says he doesn't like them outside because they destroy the yard (which he takes care of)!

Meanwhile, our house -- which is my responsibility -- is being destroyed. I can't relax with all the chasing and romping that goes on.

Abby, I'm now four months pregnant, and I'm concerned about our baby's safety with so many untrained animals around. We both work full time, and lately Adam's been working on weekends, too. I have proposed that we each keep our favorite pet and find homes for the rest, but Adam won't hear of it. Please help me. -- PET-PEEVED, MARTINEZ, CALIF.

DEAR PET-PEEVED: Insist that the animals be retrained to live outdoors, or find homes for them before the baby arrives. Your peace of mind and your baby's safety come first.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man in my mid-20s. I have known that I am gay for as long as I can remember. It is only recently that I have started to accept it. The catch is that I have a girlfriend.

We have been best friends since we were kids, and have tried a serious romantic relationship several times. She is aware of my past struggles in dealing with my sexuality, but she believes we have gotten past it (because I led her to believe that). It was not easy on her before, and I'm sure it won't be easy a second time.

I know she truly loves me and wants to be with me the rest of our lives. I love her, too, and can't imagine her not being a part of my life, but as much as I want to, I cannot make my feelings cross over into the realm of romance -- because I'm gay.

Abby, I want to have a house, kids, a station wagon and a family dog. If I stay in this relationship, I'm sure I can have these things and maybe in time I will learn to be content. However, I'm wondering if maybe I should be honest with her -- and everyone else. I hesitate because she's been through so much already, and I don't want to lose my best friend.

Abby, how can I tell her without losing her? -- LIVING A LIE

DEAR LIVING A LIE: You may be able to tolerate living a lie, but it's unfair to everyone with whom you are involved. Show your girlfriend this letter and tell her that you wrote it.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am writing in behalf of all farmers and our embattled farming industry. Farming is one of the hardest, most labor-intensive occupations in this country. This year has been particularly difficult because a very wet spring and summer have prevented many of us from planting all of our crops. Consequently, many individuals are uncertain about the future of dairy farming in our state.

In addition, the Southern states have suffered severe drought. This has also affected crop production, so you can bet that soon customers will be complaining about the price of food. Fortunately, in our great country we are blessed with the quantity and quality of our food products.

My grandmother sent me this prayer, which she clipped from a newspaper many years ago. Its author is unknown. Perhaps it will help consumers appreciate not only the farmers' point of view, but our struggle to survive. -- A FARMER IN MAUSTON, WIS.

DEAR FARMER: Having been born and reared in Iowa, where the tall corn grows, I appreciate the Farmer's Prayer your grandmother sent, as well as its unique insight. Read on:

"Dear God, I'm grateful for the generous bounty which you have bestowed upon me, but I must ask one more heavenly favor: Grant me the wisdom to understand why a pound of T-bone steak is considered too high at $3.50 while a 3-ounce cocktail at $2.25 is not, and people pay $1 for a soft drink at the convenience store without blinking, but insist that a 15-cent glass of milk is inflationary.

"Help me, too, my Lord, to comprehend why $6 movie tickets are a normal expense, but $3.50 for a 60-pound bushel of wheat is unimaginable; why cotton is overpriced at 60 cents a pound but a $20 cotton shirt is a "bargain"; and why corn is too steep when 3 cents fills a bowl, but no one bats an eye paying $1 for a serving of flakes in a restaurant.

"Lend me your divine insight that I may perceive the justice in being forced to grant an easement to the utility company so they could cross my property with their gas lines, then double the price they charge me for their gas. And finally, grant me the strength to endure without bitterness the consumers who scoff at me for shelling out $10,000 for a piece of farm equipment that they were paid to build, so they can afford the cars they drive on their vacations down the road that used to be my acreage before it was stolen for the right-of-way.

"Eternal thanks to you, my Creator, for your past insight and divine guidance. But please -- help me to understand their reasoning. Amen."

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)