DEAR ABBY: I'm a 27-year-old woman with many friends and a good job. I have been described by many men as "beautiful."

My problem: I can't keep a boyfriend. The reason: I refuse to have sex before marriage. As a Catholic, I am not allowed premarital sex.

Recently a man I had been dating for four months said he loved me, but he dropped me because I wouldn't have sex with him. He asked, "Would a man in his right mind buy a car without driving it first?"

I'm frustrated and very hurt. I keep looking for decent men, but it seems they are all the same.

Sometimes I wish I were ugly; then I would know that a man liked me for who I am and not for my physical attributes.

Does anyone else have this problem? Am I crazy, or old-fashioned? I'm beginning to think I'll be alone for the rest of my life. -- ALONE IN ANN ARBOR, MICH.

DEAR ALONE: You are neither crazy nor old-fashioned. You are to be admired for refusing to do that which you feel is morally wrong. Plenty of good and decent women -- and men -- remain virgins until they marry.

And by the way, a woman is not an automobile to be taken for a "test drive" first. The man you were dating wasn't a buyer; he was a tire-kicker.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Very Unhappy," who felt that giving her baby up for adoption was the best thing to do at this stage of her life when she couldn't properly provide for a child and complete her education, too.

You supported her decision to put her child up for adoption, which was excellent advice.

I was adopted when I was 5 days old. My birth mother had made her decision ahead of time to give me up. (That was 41 years ago.) I want to tell "Very Unhappy" that some very grateful couple will be overjoyed to adopt her child for reasons too numerous to list. It takes special people, who desperately want a child, to raise him/her as their own. I am grateful daily for my adoptive parents.

Being a mother myself, I know that admitting you can't properly care for a child is a tremendous decision to make and to live with. It should not be made lightly, but if it's best for the child -- as well as the mother -- then it is the right decision. She is making the ultimate sacrifice of loving her child more than herself.

I wish her the very best and hope she took your advice. -- TRACY L. HOUSTON, NEWPORT NEWS, VA.

DEAR TRACY: So do I. I'll keep you posted if I hear from her again. And I hope I do.

DEAR ABBY: The recent letter concerning respect for funeral processions cracked me up because it reminded me of this story:

Two gentlemen were playing golf near a highway when a funeral procession passed. One gentleman, a very dedicated golfer, laid down his club, removed his hat and bowed his head until the procession passed.

The other gentleman said, "My, that was reverent and thoughtful. That must have been someone you knew."

The first golfer responded, "Yup -- I was married to her for 40 years." -- CURT M. KING, WALNUT CREEK, CALIF.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 24 years old and have been married for 2 1/2 years. I met "Rick" when I was 15. He was my first love.

We are not poor. Rick works two jobs and I work part-time and go to college. After our wedding, I paid all the bills and balanced the checkbook. But after a while, I got frustrated because I was a few cents off, so I let Rick take over the checkbook because he promised to find the discrepancy.

A few months later, I began getting calls at work and at home about unpaid bills and bounced checks. I'd tell Rick about them. He said not to worry, he'd take care of it; money was just tight.

Two weeks later, my car was repossessed. We got it back, after paying a large repo fee plus a month's payment in advance. Obviously Rick had lied to me about being up-to-date on the bills. I know he's not gambling or spending the money elsewhere; he was just late paying the bills and it snowballed.

Last week I typed up monthly and annual spread sheets to organize our budget, and made it plain that I would have to see every bill that comes in. From now on, I will write the checks and manage our finances. Rick agreed. He has apologized repeatedly, and is trying hard to become more responsible. I believe he is sincere, although my credit as well as his is ruined now. At the moment, we are stabilized and not in danger of losing our car or home, but I'm really scared.

He learned his behavior from his mother. (I'll call her Shirley.) When he was a child, his father died. Shirley is now on her fourth husband.

I work with her current husband, who makes really good money but is hurting financially because Shirley goes on spending binges. And this is the clincher: I found out today that Shirley was fired for embezzling money. She was cutting checks for herself and later replacing the money. Rick is terrified his mother will go to jail.

I'm terrified Rick will turn out just like his mother. Shirley is a compulsive shopper, while my husband is merely irresponsible. However, I'm still afraid for our future.

This is the only real problem in our marriage. Rick is a sweet, gentle, loving, funny man who will one day be a great father. I don't want to give up on him, but I don't want us to end up like his parents, either. His stepfather may leave Shirley over this.

Am I doing enough by controlling our finances myself, or are there other measures I should take? I know that people rarely change. Should I leave him? I am ... IN A PANIC

DEAR IN A PANIC: That would depend on how important an honest husband and financial security are to you. Before making any decision about starting a family, please consult an attorney and a credit counselor about safeguarding yourself from Rick's financial irresponsibility.

Contact the National Foundation for Consumer Credit. It is an umbrella group with more than 1,162 member offices in the United States, Canada and Puerto Rico. Many of them go by the name of Consumer Credit Counseling Service. NFCC is a nonprofit education foundation whose purpose is to educate, counsel, and promote the wise use of credit.

Members are also nonprofit and offer free or low-cost professional financial guidance and budget counseling to consumers nationwide. No one is turned away because of an inability to pay for these services.

For the number of the NFCC member office nearest you, consult the business pages of the local telephone directory under "Consumer Counseling Service," or from a touch-tone telephone, call 1-800-388-2227.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: To my delight, I learned that world-famous evangelist Billy Graham quoted from my column in Minneapolis recently. I have run the letter several times, but here it is again:

DEAR ABBY: A young man from a wealthy family was about to graduate from high school. It was the custom in that affluent neighborhood for the parents to give the graduate an automobile. "Bill" and his father had spent months looking at cars, and the week before graduation, they found the perfect car.

On the eve of his graduation, his father handed him a gift-wrapped Bible. Bill was so angry that he threw the Bible down and stormed out of the house. He and his father never saw each other again. It was the news of his father's death that brought Bill home again.

As he sat one night going through his father's possessions that he was to inherit, he came across the Bible his father had given him. He brushed away the dust and opened it to find a cashier's check, dated the day of his graduation -- in the exact amount of the car they had chosen together. -- BECKAH FINK, TEXAS

DEAR BECKAH: I hope Bill read the Bible cover to cover, for it contained much that he needed to learn: "A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him." (Proverbs 17:25)

DEAR ABBY: I have to get something off my chest. If I don't, I'll continue having migraines from pent-up anger. My husband and I have an exceptional relationship -- or we did have until he took a business trip with his associates.

The first day he was gone was filled with tours, audits, business meetings, etc. In the evening, he called me since I was home with the flu. While I appreciated his thoughtfulness, when he explained the plans for the evening, I became upset. I wasn't happy about his going to a strip show, but I couldn't talk him out of it. (He said he had to go along with the boss's plans so he wouldn't be branded a henpecked husband.)

About 1:30 in the morning, he called from the club and tried to convince me that the "good ole boys" conduct their business this way, and if he wanted to advance with the company, he had to follow suit. He was not exactly sober when he called.

I trust my husband, and I know that strippers don't date their customers (besides, I'm pretty good-looking myself), but I think it's disgraceful that wives have to put up with this kind of trash in the name of doing business. My husband argues that I don't understand the corporate world, and don't have a clue about what it takes to succeed.

Abby, am I out of touch, or is my husband trying to sell me a bill of goods? -- TIRED OF OUT-OF-TOWN MONKEY BUSINESS

DEAR TIRED: You are not out of touch, and your husband is trying to sell you a bill of goods. Tell him you're not buying.

YOUR CHUCKLE FOR THE DAY: "If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard." -- FRANK SINATRA

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)