DEAR ABBY: I recently read your column in which you quoted disgruntled jurors. I believe you have given the wrong impression to your readers.

I have been a trial judge for 25 years and have presided over literally thousands of jury trials. For many years I even gave jurors forms on which they could anonymously give me their complaints. With rare exception, nobody disparaged jury service as did your readers. Most thought it was not only their duty, but a privilege to serve.

Some of your correspondents suggest we abolish juries and have professional jurors and judges as fact finders. They might be interested to know that this was the system used in Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia, resulting in millions dying in concentration camps.

The reason for the Magna Carta and the Sixth and Seventh Amendments in the Bill of Rights was to curtail the absolute power of the sovereign and allow judgments to be made by one's peers.

The jury system rightly has been called the "cornerstone of democracy." Americans should be proud to serve as jurors. They should be paid a very substantial fee for their services -- and parenthetically, those employers who refuse to continue to pay their employees' wages while they are serving as jurors should be jailed. -- ROBERT E. DAUER, PRESIDENT JUDGE, ALLEGHENY COUNTY COURT OF COMMON PLEAS, PITTSBURGH

DEAR ABBY: Our dad was married to his second wife for 20 years. He recently died.

Our stepmom is a nice lady, but she seldom invited us to their home when Dad was living, and now that he is gone, we never see her.

We're not interested in Dad's money; we just wish that we could each have a memento of his. We asked her once, but nothing happened. She has already given away (or sold) most of Dad's things.

Should we ask her if there is anything left that we could buy? -- HURT IN RENTON, WASH.

DEAR HURT: Yes. And I suggest you hurry.

DEAR ABBY: I am one of a group of ladies who meet once a week for Bible study. We are all very congenial and I enjoy the meetings.

Now, my problem: Every week we take turns preparing a nice lunch, but one lady (I'll call her Sally) always brings her own lunch -- a large salad. She claims she is on a diet and the food prepared by the hostess would sabotage her diet.

I think this is extremely rude and an insult to the hostess. I voiced my opinion to a friend, and she said she saw no harm in Sally's behavior. I must add that Sally is far from discreet about eating her "lunch." I think it would be more polite to eat a small portion of the prepared meal provided by the hostess.

What do you think, Abby? We will abide by your opinion. -- STEAMED

DEAR STEAMED: Sorry, I vote for Sally's right to stick with her diet. (What's eating YOU?)

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Could you tell me why construction workers feel it is their privilege to have their radios and boom boxes blaring while they work on residential property? What would happen if we all felt we had this privilege? For instance, imagine what it would be like if gardeners, tellers in the bank or checkers in the markets all played their radios at high volume while they worked.

I live next door to a house that has been undergoing remodeling for four months. (The owners moved out and won't return until the work is completed, and who knows when that will be?) One day I was subjected to the noise of three radios -- from three different construction crews.

Time and time again I have appealed to the workers, the contractor and the owners to alleviate the stress of having to listen to this unnecessary noise pollution six and sometimes seven days a week -- often starting before 7 a.m. Nothing has changed.

I have no objection to the noise made by various tools they use, nor to the shouting, banging and dust attendant with the work. It contributes to the betterment of my neighbors' property and to the employment of people. But being forced to endure blaring radios is something else.

I have asked the workers why they can't use headsets, but have received no satisfactory answer. -- BOB PROUDLOCK, LOS ANGELES

DEAR BOB: Headsets could pose a danger to the workers. They would be unable to hear a cry for help or a warning of impending danger. Also, orders from the boss would be blocked.

Since your appeals have fallen on deaf ears, perhaps you should report the noise pollution to the police. Many cities have laws on disturbing the peace.

DEAR ABBY: In reference to "Sonia in Spring Lakes," who wrote complaining about "Jake," her 50-plus-year-old boyfriend who got too chummy with the hostess of a party that he took Sonia to:

You compared Jake to a bumblebee in the garden of life: entertaining to watch at a distance, but guaranteed to deliver a nasty sting if you got too close.

You advised Sonia to tell Jake to buzz off, which reminded me of the following poem:

"This is the story of the little bee

"Whose sex is very hard to see.

"You cannot tell the he from she

"But she can tell, and so can he.

"The busy bee is never still

"And has no time to take the Pill.

"And that is why, in times like these,

"There are so many sons of bees."

-- SIDNEY ROSEN, BRANDON, VT.

DEAR SIDNEY: At the risk of appearing "waspish," that poem appeared in my column in 1988, submitted by Jim Harvel, an Arizona beekeeper. But thanks for the reminder. You're a honey!

DEAR ABBY: Here's one more letter about grandmas catching bridal bouquets. I caught the bouquet at my grandson's wedding and didn't shove anyone to get it. I am 86 and not so spry. We all had a good laugh. Another grandson caught the garter.

The ladies at church have my wedding all planned. There's only one hitch -- they haven't found a groom yet. -- HAPPY GRANDMA

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My 11-year-old son recently hit a ball over the fence into our neighbor's back yard. He went into their yard, thinking no one was home. Well, the owner of the house and a friend (both women) were sunbathing in the nude. According to my son, they did not seem bothered by his surprise appearance, so he got his ball and left.

I told my son it was wrong to go into someone's yard without permission. However, I am bothered by the fact that my neighbor sunbathes in the nude. My son can climb the trees in our yard to peek, which no doubt he will, now that he knows what goes on next door. Also, because the women didn't object to his coming to pick up his ball, I fear he may intentionally hit balls over the fence as an excuse to go over there and get an eyeful. There will be many times during the summer when I will not be home to make sure he does not do either.

Abby, should I ask my neighbor to please refrain from sunbathing in the nude? -- MRS. R.B. IN SANTA CLARITA, CALIF.

DEAR MRS. R.B.: No. Your neighbor has the right to sunbathe in the nude in the privacy of her fenced back yard. Better to tell your son to refrain from climbing the tree in his yard to get an eyeful.

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married woman. My husband and I have been married for nine years. We have three children, ages 7, 5 and 3.

My question concerns my husband's first marriage, which lasted less than a year and was annulled by the Catholic church. There were no children from that marriage, and it is now a part of the distant past.

I think our children should be told about their father's first marriage, don't you? If you think they should be told, when and how should I bring it up?

Please don't use my name, as few people outside my family know about this. -- FEELING GUILTY

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: There is no reason to feel guilty since that marriage was annulled and there were no children involved. I see no reason to tell your children about it. However, since it is on your mind, you could tell them when they are all old enough to know what a divorce is.

DEAR ABBY: I recently became legally separated and have no intention of reuniting with my estranged husband. Because his employer provides excellent benefits for our entire family, we have agreed not to divorce until one of us decides to marry again.

I am not interested in hearing approval or disapproval of this arrangement. However, I would like to know if I am morally obligated to continue wearing my wedding ring until we are legally divorced.

Please do not tell me that if I had morals I would get a divorce. My financial situation makes the continuance of benefits imperative to the survival of my family. -- BENEFITING IN EL CAJON, CALIF.

DEAR BENEFITING: No one is "morally obligated" to wear a wedding ring under any circumstances. Furthermore, the presence of a wedding ring does not necessarily indicate that the wearer is married. Neither does the absence of one guarantee that the person is NOT married.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)