DEAR ABBY: Could you tell me why construction workers feel it is their privilege to have their radios and boom boxes blaring while they work on residential property? What would happen if we all felt we had this privilege? For instance, imagine what it would be like if gardeners, tellers in the bank or checkers in the markets all played their radios at high volume while they worked.

I live next door to a house that has been undergoing remodeling for four months. (The owners moved out and won't return until the work is completed, and who knows when that will be?) One day I was subjected to the noise of three radios -- from three different construction crews.

Time and time again I have appealed to the workers, the contractor and the owners to alleviate the stress of having to listen to this unnecessary noise pollution six and sometimes seven days a week -- often starting before 7 a.m. Nothing has changed.

I have no objection to the noise made by various tools they use, nor to the shouting, banging and dust attendant with the work. It contributes to the betterment of my neighbors' property and to the employment of people. But being forced to endure blaring radios is something else.

I have asked the workers why they can't use headsets, but have received no satisfactory answer. -- BOB PROUDLOCK, LOS ANGELES

DEAR BOB: Headsets could pose a danger to the workers. They would be unable to hear a cry for help or a warning of impending danger. Also, orders from the boss would be blocked.

Since your appeals have fallen on deaf ears, perhaps you should report the noise pollution to the police. Many cities have laws on disturbing the peace.

DEAR ABBY: In reference to "Sonia in Spring Lakes," who wrote complaining about "Jake," her 50-plus-year-old boyfriend who got too chummy with the hostess of a party that he took Sonia to:

You compared Jake to a bumblebee in the garden of life: entertaining to watch at a distance, but guaranteed to deliver a nasty sting if you got too close.

You advised Sonia to tell Jake to buzz off, which reminded me of the following poem:

"This is the story of the little bee

"Whose sex is very hard to see.

"You cannot tell the he from she

"But she can tell, and so can he.

"The busy bee is never still

"And has no time to take the Pill.

"And that is why, in times like these,

"There are so many sons of bees."

-- SIDNEY ROSEN, BRANDON, VT.

DEAR SIDNEY: At the risk of appearing "waspish," that poem appeared in my column in 1988, submitted by Jim Harvel, an Arizona beekeeper. But thanks for the reminder. You're a honey!

DEAR ABBY: Here's one more letter about grandmas catching bridal bouquets. I caught the bouquet at my grandson's wedding and didn't shove anyone to get it. I am 86 and not so spry. We all had a good laugh. Another grandson caught the garter.

The ladies at church have my wedding all planned. There's only one hitch -- they haven't found a groom yet. -- HAPPY GRANDMA

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My 11-year-old son recently hit a ball over the fence into our neighbor's back yard. He went into their yard, thinking no one was home. Well, the owner of the house and a friend (both women) were sunbathing in the nude. According to my son, they did not seem bothered by his surprise appearance, so he got his ball and left.

I told my son it was wrong to go into someone's yard without permission. However, I am bothered by the fact that my neighbor sunbathes in the nude. My son can climb the trees in our yard to peek, which no doubt he will, now that he knows what goes on next door. Also, because the women didn't object to his coming to pick up his ball, I fear he may intentionally hit balls over the fence as an excuse to go over there and get an eyeful. There will be many times during the summer when I will not be home to make sure he does not do either.

Abby, should I ask my neighbor to please refrain from sunbathing in the nude? -- MRS. R.B. IN SANTA CLARITA, CALIF.

DEAR MRS. R.B.: No. Your neighbor has the right to sunbathe in the nude in the privacy of her fenced back yard. Better to tell your son to refrain from climbing the tree in his yard to get an eyeful.

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married woman. My husband and I have been married for nine years. We have three children, ages 7, 5 and 3.

My question concerns my husband's first marriage, which lasted less than a year and was annulled by the Catholic church. There were no children from that marriage, and it is now a part of the distant past.

I think our children should be told about their father's first marriage, don't you? If you think they should be told, when and how should I bring it up?

Please don't use my name, as few people outside my family know about this. -- FEELING GUILTY

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: There is no reason to feel guilty since that marriage was annulled and there were no children involved. I see no reason to tell your children about it. However, since it is on your mind, you could tell them when they are all old enough to know what a divorce is.

DEAR ABBY: I recently became legally separated and have no intention of reuniting with my estranged husband. Because his employer provides excellent benefits for our entire family, we have agreed not to divorce until one of us decides to marry again.

I am not interested in hearing approval or disapproval of this arrangement. However, I would like to know if I am morally obligated to continue wearing my wedding ring until we are legally divorced.

Please do not tell me that if I had morals I would get a divorce. My financial situation makes the continuance of benefits imperative to the survival of my family. -- BENEFITING IN EL CAJON, CALIF.

DEAR BENEFITING: No one is "morally obligated" to wear a wedding ring under any circumstances. Furthermore, the presence of a wedding ring does not necessarily indicate that the wearer is married. Neither does the absence of one guarantee that the person is NOT married.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: After a childhood scarred by physical and verbal abuse, I married an abusive man from whom I endured 12 years of physical and emotional mistreatment. I am often asked why I remained and put up with such treatment -- why I didn't just get out.

I compare myself in those days to a beaten dog -- timid, withdrawn and distrustful, yet loyal and even forgiving to its owner after being beaten. Why would humans be any different?

I am now free of this abusive man, and in retrospect, I realize that I was programmed to believe the way I did. However, I have been deprogramming myself since those terrible years, and I have succeeded in developing a measure of confidence and self-worth. In fact, I'm a wonderful human being!

I read the poem you published some time ago by Veronica Shoffstall called "After a While" over and over, and I even have a copy of it framed on my wall. I, too, will continue to learn -- with every goodbye, I learn. -- HEALING IN MINNESOTA

DEAR HEALING: Congratulations on your renewed self-esteem and your positive steps to recovery. "After a While" is a favorite of mine, too, and I'm pleased to share it again with my readers.

AFTER A WHILE by Veronica Shoffstall

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and sharing a life

and you learn that love doesn't mean possession

and company doesn't mean security

and loneliness is universal.

And you learn that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises

and you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes open

with the grace of a woman

not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build your hope on today

as the future has a way of falling apart in mid-flight

because tomorrow's ground can be too uncertain for plans

yet each step taken in a new direction creates a path

toward the promise of a brighter dawn.

And you learn that even sunshine burns

if you get too much

so you plant your own garden

and nourish your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that love, true love,

always has joys and sorrows

seems ever present, yet is never quite the same

becoming more than love and less than love

so difficult to define.

And you learn that through it all

you really can endure

that you really are strong

that you do have value

and you learn and grow

with every goodbye

you learn.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)