life

Disgruntled Jurors Would Send System to Slammer

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 3rd, 1996 | Letter 1 of 7

DEAR ABBY: In a recent column a reader stated that many cannot afford to take the time to serve on a jury -- and the system is now outdated.

Abby, 60 years ago, when I was on our high school debating team, a popular subject was, "Should the present jury system be abolished?"

I believed then that our jury system should be abolished, and I certainly do now.

A panel of three judges would serve justice more efficiently, more honestly and more expeditiously. -- LOUIS C. RAVIN, M.D., BOCA RATON, FLA.

DEAR DR. RAVIN: My mail thus far is overwhelmingly critical of our present jury selection system. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I served as a juror on 11 cases, and I will find a reason to be excused if I am ever called again. I think all jurors should be required to pass some kind of intelligence test. As it is now, the lawyer who puts on the best show is the one most jurors will agree with. -- NAMELESS IN SAN FRANCISCO

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Dear Abby for June 03, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 3rd, 1996 | Letter 2 of 7

DEAR ABBY: I served on a jury twice, and I'll never serve again. In one case, one juror wanted to convict before all of the evidence was in. This is not my idea of justice. -- DISILLUSIONED

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Dear Abby for June 03, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 3rd, 1996 | Letter 3 of 7

DEAR ABBY: I am all for having professional jurors. Two years ago, I was called for jury duty. I had to get up at 5 a.m. and drive 30 miles to the courthouse in another county, and then turn around and drive home every evening after dark.

I asked to be excused from one trial because it was my husband's and my anniversary. The judge told me I would have another anniversary next year.

The next juror asked to be excused because the next day was the opening of hunting season. The judge let him off! You may use my name. -- BETTY ANN CURTIS, ROGERS, ARK.

life

Dear Abby for June 03, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 3rd, 1996 | Letter 4 of 7

DEAR ABBY: I served two days on jury duty. I enjoyed it somewhat, but Abby, it cost me $6 each day to park and $5 for lunch. We only got paid $6 a day by the jury system.

So, adding up the lost wages plus the money I paid out for parking and lunch, I was definitely in the hole!

I say, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" to having professional jurors. -- DISGUSTED JUROR IN DALLAS

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Dear Abby for June 03, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 3rd, 1996 | Letter 5 of 7

DEAR ABBY: The jury system was questionable even when there were only a few hundred colonists and they had trials by their peers. Where were the "legal findings" in a jury's decision that convicted someone of being a witch? -- ANONYMOUS IN CHICAGO

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Dear Abby for June 03, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 3rd, 1996 | Letter 6 of 7

DEAR ABBY: I am 100 percent in favor of professional jurors. I look forward to my 65th birthday because it will mean no more jury duty. It was real torture. One juror didn't even know what "reasonable doubt" meant. -- HAD IT IN DALLAS

DEAR HAD IT: Perhaps prospective jurors should attend a one-day class on how to be an effective juror and then be tested to be sure they have a clear understanding of what they are expected to do.

READERS: Tomorrow we'll hear from concerned readers who argue that whatever needs fixing in our American jury system, professional juries are not the answer.

life

Dear Abby for June 03, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 3rd, 1996 | Letter 7 of 7

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Here's One Nice Guy Who Is Tired of Finishing Last

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 2nd, 1996 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: This letter is in regard to "David's Wife in Tennessee," who really appreciates her thoughtful husband. That woman is just as valuable as her husband. She recognized a "nice guy" when she saw one.

Abby, you really hit the nail on the head when you said that many men who treat women with respect end up with nothing but rejection. It's mind-boggling how many women will disregard me because I'm not drop-dead handsome and don't drive a Jaguar. (I'm a single professional in my mid-30s with a master's degree.)

So, ladies, please get to know me on the inside before you pass judgment. You cannot know what I'm capable of until AFTER you know me. For example:

1. If your car dies 100 miles away at 1:00 a.m., I'll be there at the drop of a hat.

2. I'll work with you to create the best possible relationship, including a great sex life.

3. I'll take the kids away once in a while so you can have a "sanity day" by yourself.

4. I'll listen to you talk about your lousy day at work while I'm massaging your back.

5. I'll say things like, "Is it lovely outside, or is it just you?"

6. I'll help with the cooking, cleaning and ironing.

7. I'll treat you like you're No. 1 because you are the one I cherish the most.

8. I'll always be there for you when times get rough.

9. I'll hide cute little gifts so I can put a smile on your beautiful face.

Why go out with a good-looking guy who is boring when you can go out with a guy who will knock himself out to please you? (That's me!) -- AVAILABLE IN MAINE

DEAR AVAILABLE: If the reaction of the single women on my staff who saw your letter is any example, I'm certain that were I to disclose your name and address, you'd need police protection! Your letter is sure to lift the hearts of countless women who are wondering if there are any "nice guys" left out there.

Since spring is here -- and the birds are chirping and the trees are budding -- perhaps I should mention my Top 10 List of Great Places to Meet a Man ... or Woman:

1. Parents Without Partners.

2. Evening classes at a local college or university.

3. Clubs or organizations.

4. Square dance, ballroom, line dance or folk dancing lessons.

5. Through friends -- let your friends know you're available.

6. Through co-workers -- let your co-workers know you're available.

7. Professional organizations (e.g. Chamber of Commerce or any organization having to do with your field of employment).

8. Gym or health club.

9. Volunteer work for any cause about which you are passionate, including politics.

10. Church.

P.S. If you don't meet someone eligible at any of the above places, you may make a friend who can introduce you to one.

life

Dear Abby for June 02, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 2nd, 1996 | Letter 2 of 2

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)


life

Combined Wedding Gift Rates Not Even One Thank-You Note

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 1st, 1996 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, when I was a young lawyer with a prestigious law firm, I received a wedding invitation from an associate. (We're both female.)

Another colleague also received an invitation, and suggested that we pool our money in order to purchase something nicer than either one of us could afford alone. I agreed.

Well, it was a lovely wedding, but neither my friend nor I received an acknowledgment of our gift. Several months later, I asked the bride if she had received it. She replied, "No, I haven't, but it could be among the many packages in the warehouse that we haven't had time to open."

Abby, it's been three years and still no thank-you note from the bride or groom. I'm wondering if we committed a faux pas by combining our resources to buy her a single gift, and she was so offended she felt we didn't deserve a note of thanks. -- PHILADELPHIA LAWYER

DEAR PHILADELPHIA LAWYER: You did not commit a faux pas. The bride did. There was nothing wrong with pooling your funds to buy the bride a nicer gift. Should another occasion arise when a gift is required, a book of etiquette might be appropriate.

life

Dear Abby for June 01, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 1st, 1996 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR READERS: I recently received a delightful book titled "The Kindness of Strangers -- A Collection of Animal Rescue Stories" published by the Auxiliary for Dekalb Animals Inc., a nonprofit organization in Illinois dedicated to promoting the welfare of animals. One story caught my eye, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did:

THE STORY OF ABBY

During the summer of 1987, I was helping my daughter clear some mountain river property she had purchased. As we approached a pile of wooden pallets, we heard a crying sound and saw an injured, starving Doberman dog crawl out from under the stack. After feeding her part of our sandwiches, we attempted to find her owner, thinking she might have strayed. The nearest neighbor told us, "People put dogs like that out all the time -- the best thing you can do for her is shoot her." We stopped our search for her owner.

We brought her home that evening; she was frightened and starving. We fed her and loved her. She immediately took up with my cat and licked the cat like it was her baby. The next day, I took her to the vet and discovered she had several broken ribs and a fungus on her paw, which might require amputation. The vet fixed her up as best he could. As I was paying the bill, they wanted the dog's name for their records. I thought for a minute and said, "Her name would have to be Abby!"

Abby's ribs mended. Her fungus healed after six months of treatment and she gained weight. She became a permanent member of our family.

Last year, my husband entered a nursing home and I now live alone. All my neighbors have elaborate security systems and a few own guns. All I need is Abby. She's the best security I could have. -- NOT ALONE IN ATLANTA

life

Dear Abby for June 01, 1996

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 1st, 1996 | Letter 3 of 3

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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