DEAR ABBY: Thank you for printing the warning signs of an abusive partner. However, you have unfairly portrayed men as the only abusers. Not so; women can also be abusers.
My brother was married to a physically abusive woman who exhibited all 15 points you mentioned in your column. It wasn't until he joined a support group and heard about similar experiences that he realized he wasn't the only man who got beat up by a woman.
After much research, I find that women are just as abusive as men in relationships.
Women are able to get away with abusing men because most men are too embarrassed to report it. With the massive attention now given to domestic violence, I feel it's time the other side of the story is told.
Abby, I am sure it would be a great relief to many men to see this in print. -- E.V. LILAND, DALLAS
DEAR E.V. LILAND: If what you state is true, that women are just as abusive as men in relationships, then I would like to see the statistics. Although I have no doubt that many men have been subjected to abuse by their spouses, my experts tell me that their numbers are dwarfed by the vast number of women who experience physical abuse at the hands of their husbands or boyfriends.
While researching a column about spousal abuse a year or so ago, I inquired if shelters were available for male victims of spousal battery. I was told that there are no shelters for men in California. Men are presumed able to provide for themselves.
Abused women are often captives in the abusive relationship, fearing that if they leave, they will be killed. Frequently they have been isolated by their abuser, have no money, credit or job skills, and feel they'll be unable to support themselves and their children. The same is not true for men.