DEAR ABBY: I am a funeral director in Minneapolis and take part in many processions to cemeteries. It seems that most people are not too concerned about funeral processions. They dart in and out of cars and join the mourners in order to run through red lights.

This letter, however, is to show my appreciation to a couple of individuals who remain fixed in my mind. To the man who pulled over, stopped his car and took off his hat, placing it on his chest -- thank you! You didn't know the family or the young man who had died. You didn't know the 3-year-old daughter who didn't understand all that was going on around her, but you gave her, and other family and friends, a moment of your time.

Thank you, too, to the teen-ager who was hanging out with his friends on the corner as we passed. When you removed your cap and bowed your head, you showed respect and consideration.

Simple acts of kindness like these don't go unnoticed, and they mean so much.

Funeral processions shouldn't be regarded as nuisances that make you late. Take that moment and reflect on your own life, and give that family the same respect you would want for yours. -- DANIEL C. ANDERSON, MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR MR. ANDERSON: Thank you for a wonderful letter. But taking a moment to be considerate should not be limited to special circumstances. Simple courtesies extended to neighbors, co-workers and strangers improve the quality of life for everyone.

DEAR ABBY: I have saved this "Dear Abby" letter since 1979. Please run it one more time for people who insist that "a piece of paper" doesn't mean anything. I am a longtime reader from ... BUFFALO, N.Y.

DEAR LONGTIME READER: I agree. It's worth a second time around:

DEAR ABBY: Many couples who live together without marriage say: "We don't need a piece of paper to make our commitment to each other binding. A piece of paper doesn't mean a thing!"

Wrong! May I point out that when a person buys an automobile, he had better have that "piece of paper" or he could be in a lot of trouble.

Also, a driver's license may be "just a piece of paper," but you'd better not be caught driving without it.

When a person buys a home or any other piece of property, he makes sure he has that "piece of paper."

And when a person graduates from high school, college or trade school, that "piece of paper" can make the difference between getting a job or not getting one.

We live our lives with pieces of paper, beginning with a birth certificate and ending with a death certificate. And let's not forget the will -- another very important piece of paper.

So when I hear people say, "A piece of paper doesn't mean a thing," I'm reminded of the classic adage, "Ignorance is bliss." -- PAPER IS PROOF

CONFIDENTIAL TO NOTHING TO LIVE FOR IN ATLANTA: Live one day at a time. No one ever collapsed under the burdens of a single day; it's when the burdens of tomorrow are added to it that it becomes unbearable.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: Today is Mother's Day, and I would like to take this opportunity to extend congratulations and good wishes to my readers as we celebrate this sentimental occasion. I have been asked many times by people whose mothers are no longer living if I know of a special prayer that might be offered to honor the memory of a deceased mother. The one with which I am most familiar is the prayer I found in my Union Home Prayer Book. It is the prayer that Jews recite on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement:

IN MEMORY OF MOTHER

"I remember thee in this solemn hour, my dear mother. I remember the days when thou didst dwell on earth, and thy tender love watched over me like a guardian angel. Thou hast gone from me, but the bond which unites our souls can never be severed; thine image lives within my heart.

"May the merciful Father reward thee for the faithfulness and kindness thou hast ever shown me; may he lift up the light of his countenance upon thee and grant thee eternal peace! Amen."

DEAR ABBY: You recently published a letter I wrote signed "Distraught Middle Child." I told you I didn't know what to do about inviting my brother and sister to my wedding since both had threatened not to come if the other was invited. I thought you and your readers, some of whom were concerned enough to write to you about my problem, might like to know how the story ended:

I took your advice and invited neither "Victor" nor "Sarah" to my wedding. However, at the last minute, complications took the situation out of my hands.

My husband's best friend from college had a sudden emergency and was unable to attend. My husband very much wanted Victor to round out the wedding party. Feeling that I had no other option, I re-invited both Victor and Sarah. Victor accepted immediately, but Sarah snapped, "I'll send you a present!" and hung up on me.

The wedding went beautifully. However, during the reception, the door suddenly burst open and Sarah entered! She walked straight up to our brother, hugged him, and through her tears told him how sorry she was for the way she had treated him for the last three years.

He accepted her apology gracefully; then, he, too, began to cry.

Sarah then begged my forgiveness for missing my wedding, to which my wonderful husband jokingly remarked, "Don't worry, she'll have more; no one can put up with me for very long."

I cannot imagine a wedding present more wonderful than the one I received from my brother and sister. -- NO LONGER DISTRAUGHT

DEAR NO LONGER DISTRAUGHT: Neither can I. Thanks for a delightful upper.

DEAR ABBY: This is for "Dance Dilemma in St. Petersburg, Fla.":

If the father-in-law-to-be is telling the young couple how to run their wedding, what will the future be like?

Come on, Abby. I've married off four children, and they each had a dollar dance following the wedding. It has become a tradition, just like removing the bride's garter and tossing the bouquet.

If millionaire daddy-in-law is embarrassed by the dollar dance, he should make it a $100 dance and throw in a stock option for good measure. -- THERESA IN MUSKEGO, WIS.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I was just 53 years old when I began having trouble on my job as a bank teller with what seemed to be vision problems. Suddenly it became difficult to enter large numbers into my computer and my performance nosedived. My doctors tried changing my eyeglasses, but nothing helped. Eventually my doctor referred me to a neurologist, who suspected that I had a brain tumor, but following dozens of tests, made the diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease.

Since then, my life has changed so much. No matter how loving and caring your family and friends are, it's a difficult and lonely journey. I can no longer work and had to give up the freedom of driving. It's difficult to do many other things that most people take for granted.

My husband and I discovered the Alzheimer's Association, which has been our salvation. We have been blessed to participate in our local chapter's support groups, where we meet others who are going through the same problems and share their experiences and solutions. It makes you realize you aren't quite as alone as it seems most of the time.

To others in my situation: Learn all you can about Alzheimer's disease and go out and live one day at a time. I'm living each day to the fullest as I accept those things I cannot change and fight for those things I can. I haven't fallen into the trap of self-pity and depression.

Abby, if you print my letter, please do not disclose my name or location, as my mother does not yet know that I have Alzheimer's disease. -- "SUSIE"

DEAR SUSIE: Thank you for an important letter and for having the courage to speak out. Memory loss and changes in mood and behavior are early signs of Alzheimer's disease, but dementia, which is a decline in intellectual ability severe enough to interfere with a person's daily routine, can have many causes. At least 60 conditions can cause it -- including strokes, Huntington's disease, Parkinson's disease, depression, drug interactions, stress, thyroid problems and vitamin deficiencies. Some of these conditions can be reversed if detected early. Early and accurate diagnosis is essential to determine the cause of the dementia.

Alzheimer's disease is the most common disorder causing dementia, and has been known to strike people in their early 40s and 50s. Presently, there is no cure for Alzheimer's.

The "early onset" form of this disease presents unique planning issues for both individuals and families. Early diagnosis may resolve the anxiety of wondering "what's wrong with me," and allow more time to plan for the future and address important issues regarding care, living arrangements, and financial and legal issues.

As more people in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease seek support and assistance, a growing number of the Alzheimer's Association chapters are providing support groups for individuals with the disease, in addition to their long-standing programs for caregivers and family members.

I urge readers to contact local chapters to learn about the help that's available. The Alzheimer's Association has a new brochure titled "Steps to Getting a Diagnosis: Finding Out If It's Alzheimer's Disease," which is available at no charge through local chapters, or the association's national information line: 1-800-272-3900.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)