DEAR ABBY: If my husband knew I was writing to you, he'd swear I was nuts. But I have a problem I have never seen addressed. I read your column every day, and most of the time I agree with you and respect your opinion.

My husband's best friend, "Earl" (not married), has been cornering me alone and keeps saying he has always loved me! I have tried avoiding him, and he tries to avoid me when he's sober. However, we are social drinkers, and since they are such good friends, there are times we can't avoid each other. I have never encouraged Earl and have let him know that I'm very much in love with my husband -- but that doesn't stop him.

Should I tell my husband? I'm afraid if I don't, he'll hear Earl one day and think there's something going on. They have been friends for years, and I'm afraid if I tell, their friendship will be hurt, and I'd never do anything to hurt either one of them.

Your thoughts on this, please. -- IN A BIND IN BATON ROUGE

DEAR IN A BIND: You are much too kindhearted. If the shoe were on the other food, and your best friend began hitting on your husband every time she got a snoot full, wouldn't you want to know?

Corner Earl in the cold, sober light of day and tell him that his unwelcome advances have made you uncomfortable for the last time and if it happens again, you WILL tell your husband. And if you're put on the spot again -- do it.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of ours has a 7-year-old son who molested our 7-year-old child. We alerted our friend to the situation, and she confronted her son, who admitted the act.

From what our child told us, this was not just "curiosity." Our friend took her son to a child psychiatrist and informed us that they discovered the boy had been molested for over a year by an older boy. Then we were told that he would have to be in therapy anywhere from six months to a year.

After two or three visits to the doctor, the mother stopped taking him because it was too upsetting for the child, and he would cry and get sick before the appointment, so no more therapy.

Do you think this is wise? Since he was molested and has acted out on other children (ours was not the only one -- there were several), should he or should he not be in therapy? I believe he should. -- CONCERNED FRIEND

DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: I, too, believe the boy should be in therapy. Is the boy rebelling because he dislikes the therapy -- or the therapist? Perhaps another therapist could be a solution.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: For our 33rd wedding anniversary, my husband took me to see "Miss Saigon" at Cincinnati's new Aronoff Center. We had wonderful seats for this spectacular play; however, it was totally ruined by a very inconsiderate 60ish man who was seated directly behind me. He coughed incessantly during the entire performance.

There were times when I felt my hair blowing from the force of his cough! He seemed oblivious to the fact that he was annoying anyone, never bothering to cover his mouth, or take a cough drop, or perhaps get up and leave.

Abby, he was not alone; he had a nicely groomed woman with him who could have at least nudged him or told him to cover his mouth.

When telling my daughter about this, she suggested that from now on I carry cough drops to offer people who do this, thus conveying the message that their coughing is very annoying.

Abby, what's your opinion on handling such a situation? I came very close to saying something, but I didn't want to stoop to his level of rudeness. -- SALLY IN CINCINNATI

DEAR SALLY: No one would deliberately cough under these circumstances, but since this gentleman (?) seated behind you made no effort to cover his mouth and had coughed so violently you felt your hair blowing, you would have been justified in turning around and asking him politely to please cover his mouth when he coughed.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 42-year-old man who has been divorced for four years. I have a 13-year-old daughter I'll call "Suzie." Since my divorce, it's been Suzie and me and no one else.

About eight months ago I met "Jill" -- a terrific lady with whom I'm very much in love. I never thought two people could have so much in common.

My problem: Whenever Jill and I make plans to go to dinner at a friend's house, Suzie expects to be right there between us. This was fine the first few times, but now it has become a problem. Suzie was supposed to stay with her mother during Easter vacation, but within 36 hours she was standing at my doorstep ready to come home. (She used to love going to her mother's.)

I have sat down with my daughter and told her I love her very much, and she'll always be important to me -- but Jill and I need and want some time to ourselves. It hasn't worked. If I exclude Suzie she cries, calls us names and throws a fit. It has reached the point where we have to sneak around and lie in order to be alone.

How long must we endure this? I plan on spending my life with Jill. So far, she's been very understanding. What should I do? -- SUZIE'S DAD

DEAR DAD: Your problem stems from the extended period when it was you and Suzie and no one else. And you are expecting your child to reason like an adult, while she is fighting for her most precious possession -- her daddy.

You have two choices: Be firm with your daughter and assert yourselves as adults who need time and space for yourselves and refuse to be swayed by the tantrums. Or be prepared to wait until your daughter is ready for college or a life of her own before taking your relationship with Jill to another level.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am concerned about the mothers who are released so quickly from the hospital after childbirth -- often as soon as 24 hours after delivery.

My daughter just had her first baby, and after a difficult delivery and complications, they sent her home after three days. Once she was home, she had to tend her infant, breast-feed every two hours, take a sitz bath every four hours and sleep when possible. Well-meaning friends and relatives who wanted to see the baby rang her phone and doorbell constantly.

When I had my babies 20 years ago, we had four- or five-day hospital stays, and these stays provided something we don't have today -- controlled visiting hours. Guests could come, see the baby, give you a few hugs and go home. Now, the new mom has to answer the door and telephone and entertain people who were not considerate enough to phone and ask if Mom wanted company.

Some friends and relatives were more considerate. They called ahead, brought food, ran errands, and sent notes and gifts.

The first couple of weeks are usually hectic for new moms, so Abby, please tell these well-meaning people to never "drop in" to see the new baby. Call ahead to see how things are going, and if you set up a time for a visit, please be on time. -- CONCERNED GRANDMOTHER

DEAR GRANDMOTHER: Thank you for a valuable letter. And may I add when you visit a new mother, please don't stay too long. Some folks feel that because they had to drive an hour there and an hour back, they are entitled to stay for at least three hours.

DEAR ABBY: I travel frequently, both as part of my job and for pleasure. I have stayed in many really nice motels and hotels and have yet to figure out one thing I have found to be very annoying. Why do the housekeepers tuck in the sides of the top sheet and blanket?

If I'm staying at a hotel, the last thing I want to do is remake my bed -- and when I turn the bed down, both the top and bottom sheets come out. This is infuriating.

I have told the staff at the checkout desk, and they look at me like I'm a bit daft. I'd appreciate it if you would publish this with an answer, if you can get one. -- RUTH ANNE YOUNG, JONESBORO, ILL.

DEAR RUTH ANNE: Any traveler who has ever had to tear a bed apart in order to get into it will understand your fury.

According to a spokesperson for the Peninsula Beverly Hills Hotel, the "old school" of thought is that tucking in the top sheet and blanket projects an image of neatness and cleanliness. In many upscale hotels, however, "turndown service" is provided -- which includes not only removing the spread and turning down the bed, but chocolate on the pillow, closing the drapes, dimming the lights and replenishing the towels.

WORDS OF WISDOM: "He that has a trade has an office of profit and honor. A plowman on his legs is higher than a gentleman on his knees." -- BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)