DEAR ABBY: My husband and I appreciated your column on what not to say to an infertile couple. We are a professional couple in our late 30s, and infertility has been a part of our lives for almost 10 years now. We've been to six fertility specialists and have endured many months of high-tech procedures.
We have decided now to detour from the medical route because of the cost and spent emotions. It's more devastating not to be pregnant after spending several hundreds of dollars. Our current doctor cannot detect a medical problem with either one of us. We have tried to adopt a few times, but it didn't work out.
The most difficult part of infertility is the deafening silence. Most of our friends and relatives have had children with no difficulty; consequently, they can't relate to infertility.
We no longer attend family reunions because it's too stressful. Relatives seem concerned only with how many children one has, and since we have none, we have nothing to talk about.
We have endured many insensitive comments over the years from intelligent, well-educated people. Abby, I'd like to add a few more things to your list of "The 10 Worst Things to Say to an Infertile Couple":
1. "Are you barren? Or is your husband shooting blanks?"
2. "When God closes a door, he opens a window."
3. "Your husband should try wearing boxer shorts."
4. "Try standing on your head for several minutes after lovemaking. They say gravity is the key to conceiving."
Sign me ... INCONCEIVABLE IN CINCINNATI