DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a wonderful man for a year and a half. We're very much in love and agree on almost everything, but there is one issue upon which we disagree. It's the telephone. He says who he talks to and what they discuss is none of my business. I say he's wrong.
I was brought up to believe that if you are in a close relationship, you don't tell your partner that anything is "none of your business." Abby, I let him know who calls me without his asking. If he's the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and he keeps things from me, the marriage won't last.
He says if the conversation doesn't pertain to me -- or to our relationship -- he doesn't have to tell me who he's talking to. (There have been times when he's said that a "friend" called, or that he's talking to "one of his family members." But he doesn't use names.)
I feel this is sending out mixed signals.
Who is right and who is wrong? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN TENNESSEE
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: There is wisdom in the very old ditty: "Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies." If he is talking on the telephone to a friend or relative and the content of his conversation doesn't have anything to do with you or your relationship with him, it is none of your business. However, when you question him and he refuses to give you a straight answer, it is bound to raise questions and create suspicions.