DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, "S.O.S. (Sleepless Over Safety)" expressed concern that her mother-in-law had little knowledge of child safety, and she was fearful of leaving her 2-year-old twins in her care.

You advised "S.O.S." to seek safety training for her mother-in-law and mentioned several sources. I would like to add another -- the American Heart Association.

AHA offers a Pediatric Basic Life Support course. It is a combination of child and infant safety, CPR and obstructed airway procedures. In a few hours, anyone can learn to handle a pediatric emergency.

I know a new mother who had just finished the course and excitedly told both sets of grandparents about it. Looking forward to caring for their new grandchild, all four enrolled in the next class. As soon as they had completed the course, the grandparents gave the new mom and dad their first (worry-free) night without the baby.

If your readers call 1-800-242-8721, they will be routed to an American Heart Association division office where trained staff can offer information on training availability, as well as on heart disease and strokes. We spend no money on advertising, so a mention in your column will help spread the word. -- PAUL GIGUERE, AMERICAN HEART ASSOCIATION, MANCHESTER, CONN.

DEAR MR. GIGUERE: I'm happy to mention such a worthwhile organization. Parents, grandparents and anyone involved in child care should take note. AHA also urges persons at high risk for heart attacks and their spouses to learn CPR. It can mean the difference between life and death.

DEAR ABBY: I just returned from the post office after mailing a letter to my aunt in New Zealand. While there, I thanked the two women who work for the postal system. I told them that it never ceases to amaze me how a letter can get across this vast country of ours in one or two days. I thanked them for a postal service that is unmatched by any country in the world. I cannot get letters to France in a timely manner. I pray over letters to Milan, Italy, and Cairo, Egypt.

Most Americans have no idea what it's like to deal with a postal service that is slow and unpredictable. Excuses can be invented to confiscate one's mail in another country -- or you may get your mail, but with a few items missing.

Everyone in the U.S.A. should thank our hard workers for doing a grand job. In fact, I think we should designate the day after Christmas as "Thank Your Postal Worker Day."

These men and women work and move like highly trained soldiers in combat. So please be nice to them and say, "Thank you for a job well done." Because it is my real name, you may sign me ... LIGHTFOOT IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR LIGHTFOOT: Speaking as one who receives bushels of mail daily -- I couldn't agree more!

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My son (if he is still alive) will soon be 33. We have not heard from him in nearly five years. The pain of not knowing if he is OK is nearly unbearable. Sometimes I still break down and cry.

Nothing happens in our family that cannot be forgiven. I long to see his face or to hear his voice again. I have been to a counselor; I bought a book on finding lost people; I checked with the police for his driver's license, etc. I do not know where else to turn.

Last Christmas, I shopped for a needy child. It helped, but my heart is still heavy when I think of my son.

Now, when the subject of children comes up, I just tell the truth and say, "He left five years ago and I don't know whether he's alive or dead." Abby, it's painful to think about him.

I urge those who have separated themselves from their families to get in touch with them. You need not say where you are. You may think your family stops caring after a while, but that's not so. I'll never stop hurting. And I'll never stop hoping. In fact, sign me ... HURTING AND HOPING, FORT WORTH, TEXAS

DEAR HURTING: I'm hopeful your son will read your letter, recognize himself and contact you. Companies that perform computer search services may be able to locate your son. (They are listed in the Yellow Pages under "Information Specialists," "Information Brokers" or "Searchers of Public Records.")

Meanwhile, continue helping others: Participate in a community program for children in need, volunteer to read to children or teach a children's class at the library. Most hospital nurseries need volunteers to comfort sick infants. God bless you. I wish you well.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently divorced and moved to Florida. In order to pay my mortgage, I work two jobs. This leaves me with very little time for maintenance or yard work. I was relieved when the weeds didn't overrun my yard as I had feared they would because of the climate.

Yesterday I made an unscheduled trip home in the middle of my workday. As I entered my driveway, I saw in a flash the reason why the weeds had not taken over my yard. There was my 86-year-old neighbor on his hands and knees pulling my weeds!

Abby, I barely know this nice man and his wife, and yet here he was weeding my yard. He was very embarrassed to be caught in this anonymous act of kindness.

How's that for a terrific neighbor? -- MELISSA HANSEN, FORT MYERS, FLA.

DEAR MELISSA: Congratulations -- you lucked out in the neighbor department. Does he have a brother who wants to move to California?

DEAR ABBY: A close friend of mine who now lives out of town stayed at my home the other night. She slept in the nude. When I asked her why, she told me it was healthier to sleep that way. Also, she sleeps better, and it's much more comfortable.

I have slept in the nude on a few occasions and would start doing it regularly if it is indeed healthier. Is it? -- WONDERING IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR WONDERING: If it has been proven that sleeping in the nude is healthier, I am not aware of it. The only possible advantage: There would be no pajamas or nightgowns to launder.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: "Illinois Reader," who cares for her bedridden husband, requested that friends who run into her at the grocery store or beauty shop not ask her about her husband, but instead talk about other, lighter topics.

It's often hard for friends and acquaintances to know just what to say in situations like this. Sometimes people are hurt when friends DON'T inquire about an ailing loved one.

My suggestion to her is to give a brief, polite reply about her husband and then turn the conversation around and ask how the other person's children are doing. Mention she'd like to rent a movie, and ask if they've seen any good ones lately. Most people welcome the chance to talk about something more positive, and this lets them know that it's OK. -- OHIO READER

DEAR OHIO READER: Your suggestions can make even the briefest encounter a moment of respite for those who need it most. Thank you for sharing them. I received many compassionate letters from readers offering to share their tips for coping with the stress of caring for invalids at home. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was moved when I read the letter from "Illinois Reader." That letter could have been written by me.

In 1977, my husband was diagnosed with an incurable, degenerative illness. By 1986, he was wheelchair-bound. I was his sole caregiver, and in 1989 when my husband could no longer be left alone, I had to retire in order to care for him.

When I turned 50, I realized I was only existing, not living. People no longer recognized me unless I was behind my husband's wheelchair. I was angry at my life, my church and my husband's family. I finally sought the counseling my daughters had been urging me to get.

I want "Illinois" to know that help is available. Caregivers deserve a life as much as the sick person for whom they are caring. I had become a widow with a living husband. A widow receives emotional support, and that's exactly what I needed.

Today I am the manager of my husband's illness, but no longer a victim of it. He is still at home (now on feeding tubes), but I have help -- nurses and aides -- and he will remain at home. However, I, too, have to live while he is alive and not wait until he is gone -- because now is the time for the living, and now is all I have. -- ELKE MCALEXANDER, THOUSAND OAKS, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: May I address this to the "Bride-to-Be" whose father had a "terrible-looking" mouth? (He was missing several teeth in front; some had rotted away, leaving only stubby roots, etc.)

I know this is an exciting time for you and you want your wedding to be perfect, but please be thankful that your father will be present at your wedding.

I lost my dad when I was 19. Eleven years later, I married the love of my life. How I wish my father could have been there. However, my mother participated in my wedding. Like your father, Mom had dental problems. She had had all her teeth removed and was fitted with dentures, which she never wore more than 10 minutes because they were very uncomfortable.

I asked Mom to please wear her dentures on my wedding day. She wore them for a little while, then said she couldn't stand the "darned things," so she went to the ladies room, removed the dentures and put them in her purse.

Now I realize that whether she wore her dentures or not was very unimportant. -- A PROUD BRIDE

DEAR PROUD BRIDE: Your parents obviously raised you with a healthy sense of values. I wish you every happiness.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)