DEAR ABBY: Something wonderful has happened to my family, and I want to share it with you and your readers.

I have had cable TV in my home for five years. I have four children -- all in grade school -- and there was a constant battle about which TV channel to watch, as we had only one set, which was in the living room. The kids would sit there after school changing the channel every two minutes and not watching anything special.

I finally got sick of the squabbling and called the cable company and told them I wanted no more cable TV in my house. The kids were upset with me, but after a couple of days, they didn't miss it at all. Now for the good part:

It's been a year since I returned my cable box, and the children's grades have improved dramatically. They are now reading in their spare time instead of watching the boob tube, and my husband has started to talk to me!

We still enjoy TV, but now we rent tapes of the movies we want to see instead of watching whatever is available on TV.

I wish someone had written a letter like this one for me to see. I hope this helps someone else.

Love you, Abby. Please never retire! -- BEV IN WORCESTER, MASS.

DEAR BEV: I hope your letter inspires others to follow your sensible example. And who said anything about retiring? I promise to stay at this typewriter as long as my fingers, and mind, can do the job.

DEAR ABBY: We were married four months ago. (My husband and I paid for the wedding ourselves.) We also hired the best photographer in town, and were very happy with the results. His bill for all the pictures was $800.

My problem is my new mother-in-law. As soon as we got our wedding pictures, I dropped them off at her house so she could review them and decide which ones she wanted to order. I stopped by her house every weekend to get her decision, and she said, "I haven't had time to look at them yet."

Now she says she is sure she gave them back to me. When I assured her that she did not, she said she must have misplaced them, but she was sure they were "somewhere around the house."

Abby, as of now, the pictures have not turned up. My husband and I have argued about this, and I say his mother should replace them. I need your advice. -- ANGRY AND IMPATIENT

DEAR ANGRY: Since your mother-in-law is sure that the wedding pictures are "somewhere around the house," ask if you and her son may come over and help her look for them. If she is agreeable, and your search proves fruitless, accept the fact that they are gone.

Of course she should replace them. If she refuses, and you want the wedding pictures, you will have to replace them yourselves.

Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: This is in regard to the recently published letter from "Tired in Utah" -- the lady who proposes to harass her over-60 husband with saltpeter to cool his sexual desires.

Your answer made it clear that this idea isn't too swift. Maybe you should follow Jimmy Durante's advice: "If you can't raise the bridge, lower the river."

A well-stocked health food store will have a vitamin called "Womanpower" -- composed primarily of yohimbine, an aphrodisiac made from the ground bark of the African yohimbe tree. It is reputed to be quite effective and might possibly rev up her sexual motor to the same speed as that of her underprivileged husband. The Womanpower label cautions that it should not be consumed along with alcohol. -- MALE YOHIMBINE FAN IN JACKSON, TENN.

DEAR FAN: I checked out "yohimbine" in my Random House dictionary and found it to be exactly as you described it -- an aphrodisiac made from the ground bark of the yohimbe tree.

Now, a word about aphrodisiacs: If you sincerely believe that they will enhance your sexual desires -- they might.

DEAR ABBY: My problem concerns Christmas gift-giving to my children and/or grandchildren. Their circumstances are not alike, and I want to be fair.

One daughter is divorced with one child.

One daughter is married with no children.

One daughter and her husband have two children.

My question is -- should I allot a certain amount of money for each individual, or each family unit? And should the fact that one daughter has less than the others enter into the picture? Is there a fair solution? -- CONCERNED IN FLORIDA

DEAR CONCERNED: Spend approximately the same amount on each of your children and on each of your grandchildren. For those whose need is greater, give whatever you wish during the year -- but for no special occasion.

DEAR ABBY: I've waited almost a year after my mother died to write this letter. I am one of five children, and obviously the only one who even cares if the date gets put on our mother's tombstone.

Is there a polite way of mentioning this to my brothers and sisters? I make minimum wage and can't afford to do this myself or I would. Any advice would be helpful. -- NO NAME, CITY OR STATE

DEAR NO NAME: Try this: "Will you all kindly contribute your fair share in order to have the date engraved on Mother's tombstone? There are five of us, and even though none of us is rich, it's shameful that Mother's tombstone is as barren of identification as that of the unknown soldier."

Then list the engraving costs.

What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: This is my first letter to you, although I have been reading your column for many years. I need an outside opinion.

I am a grandmother in my 70s and have just returned from visiting my daughter, her husband and their three darling children -- all under the age of 5 -- and I'm upset with some of their parenting methods. For example:

They lock the doors to their children's bedrooms at night because "the children might get out of their beds and roam around the house and we may not hear them."

If one child deserves punishment, all three are punished. And if one child says a naughty word, all three are given hot sauce in the mouth.

Abby, I know these parents love their children very much, but are these methods of disciplining them wise? Please understand, it is not my intention to interfere. -- GRAM

DEAR GRAM: Children's bedroom doors should not be locked. Should a flash fire occur, it would be a nightmare.

Punishing all the children when only one has earned the punishment is a good way to make siblings grow up to hate each other.

Children who use "naughty" words should not be punished with hot sauce in the mouth -- they should be taught the proper and acceptable word to use instead of the "naughty" word.

DEAR ABBY: I had to write in response to "A Very Disappointed Trampoline Owner" who was upset because he had to buy more insurance to cover himself if he was sued by neighbors whose kids sneaked into his yard and jumped on his trampoline.

You suggested he build a fence and put a lock on it so children couldn't use the trampoline unless they were supervised.

Abby, if "Disappointed" wanted to give his children a fun toy, he may as well have given them a chain saw, because a trampoline is no less dangerous. Supervision doesn't ensure safety.

My sister is a quadriplegic today because of a trampoline mishap she had years ago. She was a trained college gymnast who had spotters watching her when she did a back flip on the trampoline and broke her neck! She never left the trampoline, or hit the sides.

"Disappointed" is afraid an unsupervised child will get hurt and sue him. What happens if his own children get hurt? There will be no one to blame but himself. If he really loves his children, he'll get rid of the trampoline. You may use my name. -- JENIFER WOETZEL, WELCH, MINN.

DEAR JENIFER: I am genuinely sorry about your sister's tragic accident. Because you cared enough to write, millions of readers are now alerted to the potential hazard of trampolines.

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)