DEAR ABBY: My only son recently died due to complications from a heatstroke he suffered while serving in the U.S. Marine Corps in Okinawa. Upon notifying us that he was in serious condition, the military requested that my daughter-in-law, Billie, and I travel to his bedside in Okinawa.

Billie was able to leave immediately, traveling with military orders and her dependent military ID in lieu of a passport. I, however, having no connection with the military, had to get a passport in a hurry.

The State Department was marvelous. A passport can take up to six weeks to receive, and there are only three cities where one can be obtained in one day -- New Orleans, Los Angeles and Houston.

I flew to Houston on Father's Day Sunday, received my passport, and left for Okinawa the next morning. Upon arrival after this long journey, I found my son had died just six hours earlier.

Abby, my point is this: If I had already possessed a passport, I could have accompanied my 18-year-old daughter-in-law and been there in time at least to have said goodbye to my son. I would like to encourage all parents who have children in the military to get a passport now. I hope they'll never have to use it except for pleasure -- but if a loved one is injured overseas, they won't have to waste precious time, as I did. -- LINDA NICKELL, OKLAHOMA CITY

DEAR LINDA: My sincere sympathy to you, Billie and your family. The point you make is an excellent one, and well worth sharing with parents of all military personnel.

Actually, I checked with the U.S. Passport Agency in Washington and was told there are 13 passport offices nationwide capable of issuing a passport for "life and death" emergencies on weekends and holidays. A duty officer is available to make that judgment during non-working hours in Boston, Chicago, Honolulu, Houston, Los Angeles, Miami, New Orleans, New York, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Seattle, Stamford, Conn., and Washington, D.C.

Thank you for wanting to spare others the anxiety you experienced.

DEAR ABBY: I've never written to you, but a recent letter in your column has motivated me to share my experience with tattoos. Some parents were concerned that their bright, responsible daughter had "betrayed" her decent parents' beliefs and values by getting a tattoo.

I, too, was a popular, bright high school student. I was class valedictorian, president of the National Honor Society and a National Merit Scholar. I had my choice of colleges and scholarships, and initially chose a small, church-affiliated college. I later transferred to a large state university where I graduated with a 4.0 grade-point average and was elected to Phi Beta Kappa.

After leaving graduate school, I worked as a volunteer teacher for Vista (the domestic branch of the Peace Corps), then I became a federal law enforcement agent and have been in that career for the last 16 years. I am married and have three wonderful children and am active in my church.

And guess what? When I was 24, I got a tattoo! A rather small one in a relatively private place. I think tattoos are fascinating and would have another one were I not concerned about contracting hepatitis or some other disease from a dirty needle.

I have had that tattoo for 15 years and do not regret it or suffer any embarrassment because of it. I got it for myself, not for public display -- although those who see it may get a clue to the "inner me" not normally revealed to the casual acquaintance. Thanks for being an open forum, Abby. -- TERRY FREEDY IN GEORGIA

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: "Karen," whose letter said snakes make loving pets, must have a very unusual snake. She said she has a 6 1/2-foot boa constrictor that she used to take everywhere. It is very intelligent, she claims -- it kisses her on command, and once it even chased away a prowler it heard coming through the sliding glass door.

Abby, snakes are not very intelligent -- they have very small brains and cannot hear. They have no ears, but they feel "vibrations." Also, her snake is not "kissing" her -- it is smelling her. A snake's sense of smell is its best weapon when in danger.

I also have a pet snake. His name is Leonard. He's a bull snake and I have had him since I was 11 years old. (I am now 38.) Leonard does not know his name, although I speak to him often. From what I have learned about snakes, Leonard has lived a very long time for a bull snake, and he is probably nearing the end of his life.

Although it may seem silly to be sentimental over a reptile, after having him around for 27 years, I will cry when he dies. -- MICHELE DUNNING, ST. PAUL, MINN.

DEAR MICHELE: For more about snakes, read on:

DEAR ABBY: I fear your correspondent Karen has a very fertile imagination concerning the "intelligence" of snakes.

When I was a kid back in the old country -- Hungary -- I also had a pet snake, which I carried around inside my shirt to pull out when I met a girl I knew would scream when she saw it. (Most girls react with horror at the sight of a snake.)

Abby, I know something about snakes, and I can tell you that you can't teach a snake anything -- much less have it respond to a request for a kiss. Snakes are far from intelligent. They have only "reptilian brains," barely adequate to respond to anything beyond their instinct to survive.

As for a snake going after a burglar who was attempting to enter through a sliding door -- snakes cannot hear. They feel only vibrations, and they pick up smells with their tongues.

Furthermore, the only snake that appears to enjoy (or even tolerate) handling is the indigo snake -- found in the southern part of the United States -- and the poor critters are hunted to near extinction for this very reason. -- ERWIN FUCHS, SEATTLE

DEAR ABBY: Your answer to Karen, who wrote about her love of snakes, was not completely accurate.

You said snakes make good pets because they're quiet, you don't have to walk them and you don't have to worry about anybody stealing them.

Wrong! About three years ago, my father's 6-foot-long boa constrictor was stolen -- cage and all. But the thieves did not take the TV, stereo or the microwave. It just goes to show you that some people put a lot more value on snakes than you think. -- CORALIE GILL, BELTON, MO.

Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's new, updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My nephew -- I'll call him Neil -- is gay. He came out of the closet to his family a few weeks ago on his 20th birthday. You would never suspect that Neil was gay by looking at him or talking to him, but when his brothers were outside playing baseball, Neil would be in the house drawing pictures of flowers.

Neil's father says that Neil is gay because all the time his mother was pregnant with him she kept praying for a little girl. (She already had four boys and no girls.) Abby, can praying for a little girl have anything to do with having a gay boy? -- NEIL'S AUNT

DEAR AUNT: According to Dr. Judd Marmor, eminent psychoanalyst and past president of the American Psychiatric Association, there is no scientific evidence that supports the theory that a boy could become homosexual because his mother, while pregnant, prayed for a little girl.

It is more likely, however, that Neil was born with a predisposition toward becoming gay, and his mother's strong wish for a girl contributed to his preference for doing "little girl" activities rather than "little boy" activities during his childhood years.

Thus, Neil's ultimately becoming gay was a combination of nature and nurture.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to the letter from the woman whose mother had a painful lump in her breast.

I, too, had a painful lump in my breast for 2 1/2 years. The lump did not show up on my yearly mammograms, and the doctor said, "Don't worry about it -- it's just a 'mass' -- if it were cancer, it wouldn't hurt." Well, it became painful to the point where I couldn't even lie on my left side. My doctor then did a needle biopsy, which was not accurate because the needle happened to hit a spot where there were no cancer cells present.

Finally, I was in so much pain, I insisted that the lump be removed. It WAS cancer! I was very fortunate, as it was a slow-growing cancer, and I was able to have a lumpectomy followed by six weeks of radiation treatments, which saved my life.

Don't listen to doctors. Cancer DOES hurt. -- DAR BARBAR, COSTA MESA, CALIF.

DEAR DAR: Thank you for sharing your experience. However, I wouldn't advise women not to listen to doctors; I would say, "Get a second opinion, and a third opinion -- and if you are still in doubt, get a fourth opinion."

Some "masses" (or lumps) are painful -- some are not. The most competent doctors follow this rule: "If it doesn't belong there -- it should come out."

CONFIDENTIAL TO 'JUST ME' IN HEMET, CALIF.: Don't put yourself down. You sound like a very worthwhile person to me. In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson: "The only gift is a portion of thyself." You don't have to spend money to give something of value.

Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's new, updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)