DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a year and three months. We're serious about each other and I plan to move in with him eventually. He's seven years older than me, divorced, and has a daughter I'll call Suzy. He doesn't get to see her much, which really hurts him. He has pictures of Suzy all over his apartment, which is OK because it's important for him to remember her.

What bothers me is the picture he carries in his wallet: It's one of Suzy and his ex-wife together. I could understand it if it was the only recent picture he had of Suzy, but he has others of just Suzy that were taken at the same time.

Quite recently, he found some pictures of other guys stashed away in a drawer at my place. I knew it bothered him, so I tore them all up in front of him, hoping it would make him realize that he is the only one for me. Now I feel it's his turn. He has other pictures of his ex-wife, but the one in his wallet bothers me the most. Should I ask him to get rid of that picture, or just pretend it doesn't bother me? -- BUGGED

DEAR BUGGED: Don't ask him to get rid of that picture, and don't pretend it doesn't bother you. Say nothing for the time being, and if you and he are ever man and wife, that would be the proper time for you to ask him to please remove the picture of "that other woman" from his wallet. Like it or not, she will always be the mother of his daughter, so you can't demand that he erase her from his memory.

DEAR ABBY: Some time ago, you printed a short item about the usage of a "guest towel" in the bathroom, and how it wasn't used but should be.

I make these towels and give them for gifts, but I lost the copy I first found in The Wichita Eagle -- and which I love to include with the gifts.

Could you please publish the little poem again? -- MILDRED LUTZ, WICHITA, KAN.

DEAR MILDRED: With pleasure. The author of the poem is Mabel Craddock of Ventura, Calif., who grew weary of having her guests dry their hands on toilet paper, bath mats and even her curtains -- leaving her pretty little guest towels untouched. Here it is:

A GUEST TOWEL SPEAKS

Please use me, Guest;

Don't hesitate.

Don't turn your back

Or vacillate.

Don't dry your hands

On petticoat,

On handkerchief,

Or redingote.

I'm here to use;

I'm made for drying.

Just hanging here

Gets very tiring.

Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's new, updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: Five years ago today, Cary Grant died -- just seven weeks before his 83rd birthday. Not a bad score. He couldn't have written a better ending himself.

Gary Grant was a superstar in every sense of the word. He wore his stardom with grace and dignity, and for all his fame and adulation, he remained incredibly unspoiled.

In his later years, he made occasional appearances in theaters around the country, billed simply as "A Conversation with Cary Grant." He didn't need much advertising; one small ad would appear in the local newspaper, and the house was immediately sold out.

Everywhere he appeared, he received a standing ovation simply for walking out on the stage. He had no routine; he just sat perched on a long-legged stool in the center of the stage with a spotlight beamed on his famous face, and for two hours he answered random questions from the audience. They loved it. And so did he.

He closed his "conversation" with a piece he called "A Meditation," saying he didn't know who wrote it, but it expressed his own sentiments about growing older. It also expresses mine. And here it is:

"Now Lord, you've known me a long time. You know me better than I know myself. You know that each day I am growing older and someday may even be very old, so meanwhile please keep me from the habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.

"Release me from trying to straighten out everyone's affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody, helpful but not overbearing. I've a certain amount of knowledge to share; still it would be very nice to have a few friends who, at the end, recognized and forgave the knowledge I lacked.

"Keep my tongue free from the recital of endless details. Seal my lips on my aches and pains: They increase daily and the need to speak of them becomes almost a compulsion. I ask for grace enough to listen to the retelling of others' afflictions, and to be helped to endure them with patience.

"I would like to have improved memory, but I'll settle for growing humility and an ability to capitulate when my memory clashes with the memory of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that on some occasions, I may be mistaken.

"Keep me reasonably kind; I've never aspired to be a saint ... saints must be rather difficult to live with ... yet on the other hand, an embittered old person is a constant burden.

"Please give me the ability to see good in unlikely places and talents in unexpected people. And give me the grace to tell them so, dear Lord."

P.S. DEAR READERS: Many books have been written about Cary Grant, but if you want to read the only authentic history of his life and loves, get the book "Evenings With Cary Grant" by Nancy Nelson, published by Morrow. It's an absolute treasure.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 35-year-old single (by choice) woman, and after 20 years of dating, I have come to the conclusion that my mother was wrong when she said, "A lady never calls a gentleman -- she waits for him to call her." Too many times I've had a man ask for my phone number, then I'd wait impatiently for him to call me. Sometimes he'd call, yet there were times when he never followed through. Then I'd agonize over what I might have done wrong.

When a woman meets a man she'd like to see again, and he takes her number, why shouldn't she feel free to take his, too, so if he doesn't call her, she can call him?

I recently met a very attractive man and we seemed to hit it off very well, but instead of his taking my number and saying the usual "I'll call you," he gave me his number and asked me to call him. Perfect! I had the option either to call him or not -- it was all up to me. I liked that.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not on a power trip. I still like doors opened for me, but I prefer to do the calling.

I'd like to hear the opinions of men on this. -- DON'T CALL ME, I'LL CALL YOU

DEAR DON'T: Many women are the aggressors, and they do not apologize for it -- nor should they. Relationships should be based upon honesty -- and there is nothing wrong with saying, "I find you very attractive, and I'd like to see you again." It doesn't matter who makes the first call. Women are people, and people should not play games.

Gentlemen?

DEAR ABBY: When I read the story about the sister-in-law who allows her dog to eat off the same plates as humans, I thought of my mother. Buying a special dish for the dog will not work. My mother has several dogs and cats, and they have their own feeding dishes. After dinner, however, they are allowed to finish the leftovers from her regular plates.

Once when we were visiting, she went one step further. She prepared a tuna casserole, and during our meal, one of the cats jumped up onto the table. My mother took the serving spoon from the casserole, tapped the cat on the nose, then turned to my husband and asked if he wanted seconds. He declined. -- KANSAS CITY

DEAR READERS: This morning, I received the following note from Jack Hill, a valued friend and employee who has been in my mail room since Year One. I thought it was so cute, I would like to share it. It read:

DEAR ABBY: To remind you that I will be on vacation for one week beginning Monday.

For your information, I am not going anywhere; it will be a "Honey Do" vacation: "Honey, do this -- Honey, do that." -- JACK

DEAR READERS: Your chuckle for today: When George Jessel took Lena Horne to a famous restaurant, the doorman asked, "Who made your reservations?"

Jessel replied, "Abraham Lincoln."

Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.