DEAR ABBY: You blew it when you advised the mother who signed herself "Unhappy Down South." Her college-aged daughter had come home with a small tattoo of an eye on her ankle. You reminded her that the ankle belonged to her daughter.

Abby, our son got his first tattoo when he was 17. His father and I thought it was just a fad. Well, today that son is 52 years old, and he is covered from neck to knees with tattoos, which include a naked lady on his stomach that reaches down each leg, and a large Mexican woman on his back wearing a sombrero. Abby, if you don't think that's embarrassing, try carrying him to a doctor or hospital.

Please tell that poor lady to see to it that her daughter's tattoo is removed, even if she has to be strapped down! And it might be well to use the strap in a few other places, too.

Decent, respectable people simply do not approve of tattoos. -- TATTOO TABOO IN BROWNWOOD, TEXAS

DEAR T.T.: Begging your pardon, but an adult offspring -- male or female -- has the right to make his or her own decisions concerning tattoos. Also, please do not presume to speak for all decent and respectable people.

In addition, to suggest that a strap be used in "a few other places" makes you guilty of condoning physical violence. The advice from here is, "Back off."

Read on for a letter from a reader in Brooklyn:

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Unhappy Down South" who is upset about her daughter's tattoo on her ankle.

A year and a half ago, I underwent 36 days of radiation for breast cancer. The area to be radiated had to be encircled by tattoos in order to leave a permanent "map" for the radiologist -- to prevent any future radiation treatments from overlapping the original site.

How nice it would have been to be tattooed by choice rather than necessity. I surely would have preferred an "eye" on my ankle to a series of black marks on my chest as a reminder of what I'd like to forget.

So, to "Unhappy Down South": Please be grateful that your daughter is well and happy -- let her enjoy her life.

Please get your priorities straight. I did. -- MRS. JULIE KERR, BROOKLYN, N.Y.

DEAR JULIE: Yours was a very sobering letter. I wish you a complete recovery.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young girl who made the dumb mistake of having black eyeliner tattooed on my upper and lower eyelids. I hate it now and have called around trying to find someone who can remove tattoos, and can't find anyone who will attempt to remove tattoos from eyelids because it's too dangerous.

Do you know anyone in Orange County, Calif., who could undo this eyeliner? If not, I hope this will serve to warn other girls not to be as hasty as I was. Please answer in the paper because I can't receive mail at home; my family may see it and say, "We told you not to do it." -- FOOLISH AND SORRY

DEAR FOOLISH AND SORRY: Unfortunately, I know of no way to remove tattooed eyeliner. My best recommendation would be to conceal the offending eyeliner with a product used to cover blemishes, freckles or an unsightly discoloration. Inquire at the cosmetic counter of your local department store. I recommend Covermark and Dermablend.

Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a volunteer at the local hospital, and I deliver the "get well" cards to hospital patients. Here are some suggestions to ensure that the cards are delivered to the patients without delay.

-- Be sure to put your name and return address on the envelope. This helps the patients determine whether or not the card is meant for them. Also, if the patient has gone home, or died, we are able to return the card to the sender. (Today we had two women with the same first name, middle initial and last name. One woman opened all six cards, and four of them were for the other patient.)

-- When addressing the cards, use the patient's given name ("Mary L. Jones") not a nickname ("Sissy Jones") or her husband's name ("Mrs. John Jones"). Also, do not use room numbers; patients frequently change rooms.

Last week we received a card for "Buddy." We also had a "Charles E. ----" listed, and all his cards were addressed to "Ed," "Eddie" and "Edward."

-- Please write clearly and do not use the entire face of the envelope for the address. If the patient has been released, we must mark through the hospital address and squeeze the home address on the card.

-- And last, but not least, if a patient is in the hospital for a long time, send cards at frequent intervals. -- NAOMI D. TRENARY, WINCHESTER, PA.

DEAR NAOMI: Thank you for the suggestions, which everyone should heed. Greeting cards can boost a person's flagging spirit -- but only if they are received by those for whom they are intended.

DEAR ABBY: Last Friday, some friends and I went to a nightclub to listen to the band and have a drink. Shortly after I arrived, a very attractive man asked me to dance. (I'll call him Bill.) We hit it off immediately, and he asked if I was married. I told him I wasn't, and he said, "That's great -- neither am I." I invited him to sit at our table, and I found him to be a really neat guy.

At the end of the evening, Bill said his ride home had left, so I gave him a ride home. He told me his roommate had guests over and he didn't want to intrude, so we parked in front of his place and talked and kissed for nearly two hours. When we finally said goodbye, we had spent four beautiful hours together.

Before leaving, I gave him my phone number with high hopes of hearing from him. (He gave me no phone number.)

A few days later, a friend who had been at the club when I first met Bill told me that Bill is a married man who lives with his wife and four children. Abby, I was shocked. If he calls me, what should I say? -- SHOCKED IN FRESNO

DEAR SHOCKED: Tell him that you learned that he is married, and you have no time for married men. Then say goodbye!

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are separating after six years of marriage. I am 31 and he is 33. After months of discussion and many sessions with a marriage counselor, we came to realize that we had no common goals. (He initiated the idea of separation after expressing a desire to be on his own again.)

I have cried, bargained and offered to compromise, but his mind is made up; he wants his independence. I refuse to commit emotional blackmail or entrap him with a pregnancy to continue the marriage. Therefore, I have decided the best thing to do is let him go. It hurts, but this way we can part as friends and get on with our lives.

Our problem: how to explain this to our families, friends and co-workers who have always viewed us as the "perfect couple." We rarely fought. We trusted each other, supported each other's careers, shared the work and had fun together. No one would suspect that we've been talking about separating for the past four months. It will be a shock to our families and a total surprise to everyone else.

Abby, we want to be truthful and call it a mutual decision, but I know people will look for something more scandalous than incompatibility as soon as this spreads via the grapevine.

How do we maximize understanding and minimize rumor fallout? -- D.J., ILLINOIS

DEAR D.J.: First, announce it to your parents, then inform other family members and friends. To minimize rumors flying, present a united front. The message should be along these lines: "'Sam' and I have agreed to end our marriage. Although it may come as a surprise to all of you, this decision is mutual. Even though we care for each other, we have decided that we no longer want to be husband and wife. Please don't press us further because we both would rather not go into details at this time."

If anyone is so insensitive as to question you further, simply say, "We'd rather not discuss it right now."

Good luck to both of you ... wherever your separate paths may take you.

DEAR ABBY: My youngest brother-in-law is getting married this spring. We live on opposite sides of the country, but we are expected to come to this wedding. We simply can't afford to go as a family. My husband thinks he should go anyway, even though his wife and kids can't. I disagree with him; I say if we can't all go, then none of us should go.

I already know what the outcome is, but I would like to know what you think about this problem, and how would you resolve it?

I also know what the outcome would be were it someone in my family getting married. I'd tell them flat out that we cannot afford to go to the wedding, then we would send them a gift and our best wishes.

Am I being selfish, Abby? Or is my husband? -- FEELING ABANDONED

DEAR FEELING ABANDONED: I do not agree that since all of you can't afford to go to the wedding, nobody should go. Since your husband's youngest brother is being married and you can't afford to go with him, I think your husband should go without you.

By the same token, if someone in your family were being married on the opposite side of the country, and both you and your husband could not afford to make the trip, you should go without him.

Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.