DEAR ABBY: Congratulations, you've done it again! You can now put another notch in your "success column" for Operation Dear Abby.

Last Thanksgiving, I wrote a letter to "Any Serviceperson" and sent it to the Persian Gulf as a part of your letter-writing campaign. I never really expected a reply, but I received one from a Lt. Patrick E. Fortune, which I answered promptly. We soon learned that we had a lot in common: His name is Patrick, my name is Patty; he's Irish-Catholic, I'm Irish-Catholic; he's one of seven kids, I'm one of seven kids; he went to an all-boys Catholic school, I went to an all-girls Catholic school; we both have dreamed of biking through Ireland. We also share many of the same beliefs about God, family and values.

When Pat returned to the states, we started talking on the telephone. We have had three- and four-hour long conversations. (Don't ask about our telephone bills!) I finally broke down and told him that I was absolutely nuts about him! He then confessed that he felt the same way about me.

We finally met in Cincinnati over the Labor Day weekend and had a sensational time. We knew there was no doubt about it -- we were right for each other.

Pat sent me a plane ticket so I could visit him at Fort Bragg, and our romance flourished. He will get out of the service in about six months, after which he plans to move to Milwaukee and make spoiling me a full-time job. That's wonderful because he's the most important person in my life.

So, Dear Abby, that's the saga of Pat and Patty. How can I ever thank you? -- PATTY TREACY, GREENFIELD, WIS.

DEAR PATTY: You just did.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend and I have been friends for 6 1/2 years. I am a single man who has never been married, and my best friend is a married woman with two children. Her husband's job allows him to be home only three nights a week. I even stay at her home about 50 percent of the time. Her husband has no objections to my staying in their home. In fact, we get along very well.

The problem is that everyone thinks it is abnormal for us to "hang out" as much as we do. We do not have sex, and never will; we are not attracted to each other sexually at all. We are just good friends and that's all.

So, what do you think, Abby? Is our relationship normal or not? I hope you will print this so our friends will know that two people of the opposite sex can be good friends -- and that's all. -- BUGGED IN BARSTOW

DEAR BUGGED: It is indeed unusual for a single man and a married woman who are not romantically involved to spend so much time together. It is also out of the ordinary for the woman's husband to be as secure and generous about his wife's close friendship with another man.

And yes, people of the opposite sex can be friends -- and that's all. It is not necessarily "abnormal," but it is unusual.

DEAR ABBY: I recently remarried. My new husband was also previously married. How should I introduce my first husband's relatives who are my former in-laws? I am very friendly with my ex-husband's nieces and nephews, too. -- SECOND TIME AROUND

DEAR SECOND: There is no reason to call attention to the fact that you were formerly related by marriage. Just introduce your ex-in-laws -- nieces and nephews -- as "dear" or "old" friends, and save the explanatory details for subsequent meetings.

Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: This upbeat piece was written by my aunt, Marie R. Beatty of Denver. She wrote it for her family, but I think it deserves a wider audience. I hope you can find the space to use it. -- MARCIE THOMPSON, PEPPER PIKE, OHIO

DEAR MARCIE: I MADE the space, and thank you for sending it.

80 PLUS -- SO WHAT!

"People ask me how I can be so contented living alone. I am almost 84. First, I never really feel alone. There's so much life around me, I don't even eat alone. I have a tiny television set on my breakfast table, and I still live in the same house I lived in when my husband was alive.

"I find life very interesting. I can hardly wait to read my daily newspaper and the magazines I get. I want to live forever -- just to see what will happen!

"A bridge game now and then helps to keep my mind alert. So does keeping a diary and a scrapbook.

"I have a new project, a la Grandma Moses. I'm writing stories. It's fun, whether they're published or not.

"I think a person's attitude has more to do with staying young than genes. Of course, it's important to eat sensibly. (Even George Burns drinks prune juice!) And a little daily exercise is also necessary. I have an arthritic knee, so I can't take long walks. Instead, I exercise in bed just before I get up in the morning. First, I thank God that I'm alive, then I concentrate on the GOOD things that will happen that day. Is there a better way to start the day?

"I think older people should do their share of entertaining -- even if it's only homemade cookies and tea.

"Sometimes the rain gets in my way; then I remind myself that others may need it, so I put on my red raincoat and go out.

"Family is important. And how wonderful to have a grandchild call you a 'good sport.'

"It doesn't bother me if I forget something. Children are the best forgetters in the world.

"I consider getting older a triumph, but I want to keep on learning. There is so much to learn!

"At night I say, 'Thank you, God, for everything. If I didn't accept all the good things I was offered, it wasn't your fault; they were there. I'll be around tomorrow.' Then I fall asleep. -- MARIE BEATTY

"P.S. Perhaps I should have waited until I was 90 to write this, but I just couldn't wait to express myself. I expect to be around for a while; my mother lived to be 96."

DEAR ABBY: I hope you won't think that this is a dumb question. My mother serves fish all the time and tells us that fish is brain food. I told her that it isn't true -- it's only a myth. I have asked everyone in our family and they say that Mother is right, but I still think she's wrong. Tell me, Abby, is eating a lot of fish going to make a person smarter? -- A KID IN ROSWELL, GA.

DEAR KID: First of all, there are no "dumb" questions -- only people who remain ignorant because they haven't the courage to ask questions.

It is not true that fish is "brain food." According to The Dictionary of Misinformation by Tom Burnam: "Perhaps the myth that fish is 'good for the brain' arose from the fact that the nerve tissue which forms a part of the brain is rich in phosphorus, and fish do provide phosphorus-containing compounds. But so do meat, poultry, eggs and milk."

I know of no food that will make people smarter. Fatter, yes. Smarter, no.

This one's for everybody, from teens to seniors! To purchase Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a strange and wacky problem that I have never seen addressed in your column. I have an intense fear of bees, hornets and wasps. I'm sure this will seem silly to many, but there may be others who share this crazy fear, although I have never met them.

Over the years, my fears have intensified. It is very embarrassing at times. Whenever I hear anything that sounds like a bee -- an electric razor, a buzzing sound on the radio -- I have a panic attack until I can locate the source.

I rarely go outdoors in the summertime (thank God, I work in an office), and I never wear perfume in the daytime during bee season. When I do gather the courage to go to a barbecue or some other outdoor event, I either leave early or stay inside the car. There must be a place for me to "escape" to or I won't even consider going.

My last apartment was chosen with great consideration for its landscaping. There are no flowers or bushes to attract bees. I am so deathly afraid of bees that I have (a) jumped out of a moving car, (b) left a 2-year-old child in the middle of the street, (c) run out into traffic, and done other outrageous things in a panic while trying to escape from bees.

Otherwise, I am a sane and sensible person. I wish there were some kind of device I could wear to discourage bees from coming to me. -- PAULA IN QUINCY, MASS.

DEAR PAULA: Your problem is not bees, it is your inappropriate overreaction to the buzzing. Your irrational fear is making you a potential danger to yourself and others. Therefore, I urge you to work through your phobia with a therapist who specializes in banishing such fears. (Ask your family doctor for a referral.)

Meanwhile, ask your local pharmacist and/or the proprietor of the nearest sporting goods store for a reliable bee repellent. And good luck.

DEAR READERS: "As our society ages and people are living longer, many older people suffer from aches and pains which they dismiss as signs of old age, and choose not to consult a physician," says Dennis Boulware, president of the Louisiana Arthritis Foundation.

"While over 37 million Americans suffer from arthritis, it is not a normal part of aging. (The symptoms of arthritis include pain and swelling in the affected joint.) Pain and swelling are not natural, and should not be tolerated -- especially when there is medical treatment available."

This reminds me of a very old story my dear, departed father used to tell: An elderly man went to see his doctor about a pain in his right leg. The doctor examined the patient quickly, then said, "Well, what do you expect, Mr. Goldberg -- that leg is 80 years old."

Mr. Goldberg replied, "Well, doctor, the other leg is also 80 years old and it doesn't hurt."

What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)