Poison control told us that the fluoride in the toothpaste was a toxic substance -- at least when more than three ounces were consumed at one time by a 33-pound child. They advised us to give her syrup of ipecac (which we fortunately had in our locked medicine cabinet) to induce vomiting. They also told us that the vomiting would probably continue for several hours, along with diarrhea.

It was a long, upsetting night for all of us, but thanks to our friend and the doctors at the poison control center, our daughter is fine today.

Abby, please warn all parents that because a product does not have a warning label does not mean that it is safe for unsupervised use by children. Many household products are often left unlocked in bathroom cabinets and drawers, on counters, under sinks, often by the same unsuspecting parents who carefully lock up their medicines and cleaning supplies.

Please be more careful than I was. And if you don't have syrup of ipecac, purchase some today and post the number of your closest poison control center next to your telephone. -- A WISER MOM IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WISER MOM: Thank you for your helpful reminder to other parents. Phone numbers for your police department, fire department, poison control center and doctors should be clearly posted near every phone, especially in homes in which there are children. Ideally, children should be under constant supervision. But in reality, nobody can watch children 100 percent of the time.

DEAR ABBY: I am 5 foot 2 inches and weigh 90 pounds. I try very hard to gain weight, but my doctor tells me that I have an overactive metabolism, and that it will work itself out someday. I try to accept that and do whatever I can to stay healthy and gain weight.

What really bothers me is being called "skinny." People say mean things like, "Every time I see you, you look skinnier and skinnier," or they'll grab my arm, measure it with their fingers, and say, "Gee, your arms are skinny -- you must eat like a bird." I could never imagine someone saying to an overweight person, "Every time I see you, you look fatter and fatter!"

Abby, the reason I am writing is to make people aware that it hurts a thin person to be called "skinny" as much as it hurts an overweight person to be called "fat." Also, it's just as hard for a thin person to gain weight as it is for an overweight person to lose weight. I wish people could start using words like "thin, slim, slender or petite," instead of "skinny, bony or scrawny." -- SICK OF BEING CALLED SKINNY

DEAR SICK: Although most offenders are probably more thoughtless than intentionally mean-spirited, your message deserves to be heard.

Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Twelve years ago, I received a personal letter from you in response to my frantic plea asking how to handle my alcoholic husband. You became my special friend. When my mother died, you called me at home. I will never forget that. Now I want to give something back; it's some advice to your readers from my own experience.

In a recent column, a John C. Seaman, referring to his personal experience with alcohol and drug abuse, said, "I recommend intervention to anyone who is frustrated by another person's drinking or using. You don't have to wait for someone to 'hit bottom,' which could ultimately be death." Those words hit close to home!

My husband's alcoholism ultimately led, although indirectly, to his death. For 12 years I tried to help him, and finally we agreed that he should enter an alcohol and drug abuse program in an area hospital. Six weeks after his release, he resumed drinking. I tried "tough love" and moved him out of our house, saying he could return when he got back on the program and quit drinking.

Well, he wasn't strong enough to quit drinking, nor was he strong enough to fight off the killer who knifed him to death in his motel apartment. It happened in the early hours of April 10, 1991. A drug-crazed man forced his way into my husband's apartment and stabbed him 14 times, then stuffed him into a closet!

Now I have to live with the fact that I let him down. I failed him. It is too late for intervention. So, Abby, please tell your readers to keep trying! Keep trying to rehabilitate your alcoholic or user. Where there is life, there is, at least, hope.

After death, you will want them back so badly, drunk or high, but alive! I, too, recommend intervention along with Mr. Seaman, not out of professional knowledge -- but from harsh life experience.

Call a treatment center, as he suggests. Please do not give up!

Kindest regards to you, Abby, and love to all of your readers. You may print my name. -- DIANE SMITH

DEAR DIANE: Please accept my condolences on the tragic death of your husband. For those readers who may have missed it, the 24-hour helpline of the McDonald Center for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Treatment at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, Calif., is: 1 (619) 458-4357. That call could be a lifesaver.

DEAR ABBY: Our son, who is 21 years old, is basically a fine person and he is usually very reasonable. He has a new girlfriend and she has been "sleeping over." Our son lives in our garage, which we have fixed up comfortably. He needed his privacy, and we needed peace and quiet. He feels that since he is in a separate area, it is OK to have his girlfriend sleep over, even though it goes against our values.

We have set certain rules for him and feel that as long as he is living in our house, he should discontinue this sleeping arrangement. He has always abided by our rules, but thinks we are off base on this.

What do you think? -- LOVER BOY'S MOM

DEAR MOM: I think as long as your son is living in your house, he should abide by your rules.

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 39-year-old divorced man. My ex-wife and present girlfriend are the only women I have ever had sex with, and both are extremely flat-chested. Therefore, I have never touched -- or even seen -- breasts of any size except in pictures.

Sometimes this bothers me, and I find myself staring at women with large breasts. My girlfriend is very understanding about this and even suggested that we go to a nudist camp so I could get an eyeful.

Abby, do you think going to a nudist camp would get this problem out of my system, or would it just aggravate it?

My decision depends on your reply. -- MISSING OUT IN L.A.

DEAR MISSING OUT: Your girlfriend's "understanding" is admirable, but nudist camps are not peep shows. They are for people who sincerely enjoy the freedom of camping out in the buff. You will find naturalists -- entire families -- at nudist camps.

There are legitimate theaters that offer adult entertainment wherein you can see what you want to see.

DEAR ABBY: Your column about "no-shows" (people who do not show up at a wedding reception after having accepted) struck a raw nerve with me. I was recently married, and we had 40 no-shows at our reception.

We included postage-paid response cards with every invitation, and about 60 percent responded to those. I did a lot of telephoning, and held off the final count to the caterers until two days prior to the wedding. At that time I had to make the final florist order (for every table of eight there was a centerpiece) as well as the final champagne amounts for toasting. We figured that this cost us $1,000 extra.

To this day, we have only found out that one woman was ill, a man didn't get home from a business trip, another man left his wife, and one couple had the flu.

Only one couple informed us personally that they were unable to attend -- three hours prior to the ceremony. At the reception, we learned that another couple had separated and he was too upset to attend.

Abby, please don't use my name or city; I'm hopeful this will alert some other folks, and there will be fewer no-shows. -- AFFRONTED NEWLYWEDS

DEAR NEWLYWEDS: I wish! I have yet to hear how readers felt about my suggestion concerning no-shows at a catered affair: "Since the food is already paid for, why not pack up the goodies and take them home or to a homeless shelter?"

CONFIDENTIAL TO "HANGING IN THERE" IN HOLDENVILLE, OKLA.: I admire your fighting spirit, but an artist knows when a painting is finished, and a wise woman knows when the affair is over. Accept it with grace, and save face.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)