DEAR ABBY: I have read so much about divorced parents creating problems at their kids' weddings that I had to write and let you know what happened at mine.

My parents divorced when I was 2 years old. For years, I heard Mother and Dad bad-mouth each other. And I went for years without seeing my father because of their dislike for each other.

Then, when I was in my early teens, my parents started mending fences, and I got to know my father better. I soon realized that Dad wasn't such a bad guy after all.

OK, I am now 21 and have just married a wonderful young man. Dad got married last year and the hostility between my parents just seemed to evaporate!

I got the nicest present anyone could have given me. My mother and my stepmother gave me a surprise bridal shower -- together! Mom insisted that Dad give me away at my wedding, and she and Dad stood together at my side to give me their blessings.

My stepmother insisted that Mom and Dad sit together at the wedding dinner. My parents laughed and danced together and everyone had a super time. I didn't have to ask anybody to please be nice for my sake. There were genuine good feelings. I get emotional just thinking about it. Sign this ... DREAMS CAN COME TRUE IN TEXAS

DEAR DREAMS CAN COME TRUE: What an upper your letter is! Your parents (and stepmother) showed rare maturity, sensitivity and generosity. Few children of divorced parents are as fortunate. Lucky you!

DEAR ABBY: This is the first time I have written, but I thought you might find this letter of interest.

When my daughter informed me more than a month ahead of time that she and her husband planned to give me a big 80th birthday celebration, I remembered a letter that appeared in your column several months ago, from a woman who requested that all of her "gifts" go to the local food bank.

Well, the party was a huge success. More than 70 guests attended, and 145 pounds of food and $137 in coins and checks were donated. My photograph appeared in the local paper and I received bouquets of flowers from the local flower shop and radio station -- with congratulations for having given my "birthday gifts" to the food bank!

What a wonderful feeling to know that I have helped the hungry through these very difficult times. It was so worthwhile.

It would make me very happy to hear that many others would do the same. Just sharing the occasion with my wonderful friends was present enough for me. -- HELEN IN OTTAWA, CANADA

DEAR HELEN: Congratulations on your 80th! May you celebrate many more and continue the spirit of giving. This letter may inspire others to celebrate their birthdays by encouraging others to give to those who are hungry.

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Concerning people who are hooked on drugs and/or alcohol, I just read a letter in the San Diego Union from the woman who signed herself, "Broke the Cycle in Dallas." I agree with the writer wholeheartedly, and with your response as well. However, I would like to go one step further: Family members CAN help "someone who doesn't want help" -- someone who is in denial. Denial, and that "false sense of control" we call delusional thinking, creates havoc in relationships. However, this denial can be broken through with a process called Intervention.

I recommend Intervention to anyone who is frustrated by another person's drinking or using. You don't have to wait for someone to "hit bottom," which could ultimately be death.

I am a professional counselor at The McDonald Center for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Treatment at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, Calif. To learn more about Intervention, call a local treatment center -- or call our 24-hour Parent and Teen Helpline: 1-619-458-4357. -- JOHN C. SEAMAN, M.A.

DEAR MR. SEAMAN: Thanks for a potentially lifesaving letter for the thousands of people who are hooked on alcohol and/or drugs but insist they can handle it -- which they cannot.

DEAR ABBY: We have a daughter who is a senior in college. She was very popular in high school. She was homecoming queen, a cheerleader and an "A" student.

In her second year of college, she started dating guys with long hair. None of them were druggies, but they were all long-hair types. We would have called them "hippies" in my day. Her latest boyfriend has a tattoo on his arm. Well, last week our daughter came home with an ugly tattoo of an eye on her ankle!

Abby, we are decent people, but I feel as though our daughter has betrayed us and all our teachings and beliefs. I know that tattoos are fashionable right now, but I am sure the day will come when she will be sorry and embarrassed about that tattoo on her ankle. I am humiliated and would like to know how much parents are supposed to take. -- UNHAPPY DOWN SOUTH

DEAR UNHAPPY: You are taking this too personally; keep in mind that the ankle with the tattoo is your daughter's, not yours. Your daughter sounds like a bright, responsible young woman. Don't worry about her tattoo. Should she ever feel sorry and embarrassed, the tattoo can be covered with a cosmetic. Two of the best -- Covermark or Dermablend -- can be found in most department stores and some pharmacies.

This one's for everybody, from teens to seniors! To purchase Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Last Christmas we purchased a video game for our sons, ages 8 and 10. At first it was fun, but now I am sick of the hours wasted in front of the television set. If the boys aren't playing it, their father is, and the arguments and hurt feelings are not worth the money invested. We used to go to the parks or beaches, or just spend time barbecuing after work. Now it's, "What game should we rent tonight?" followed by an evening of no communication.

I swear, they are addicted to it! Am I wrong? Has this happened in other households also? -- MAD AT THE VIDEO GAME, LACEY, WASH.

DEAR MAD: You are not wrong. But who makes the rules at your house? You should allow your sons to play their video game only as a reward for having done their homework and chores. And there should be a limit on how much time they can spend in front of the television set. Kids can get hooked on a video game -- but wise parents can turn that addiction into a bargaining chip.

DEAR ABBY: I have a lovely daughter -- intelligent, well-educated, attractive, a kind and caring person. She has not married. Every now and then, some stupid jerk asks me, "Why hasn't your daughter married?"

I respond in a civilized manner, although I consider the question none of his or her business and think that only a clod would ask such a question. Can you think of any remark to put such people in their place? -- OGDEN, UTAH, MOTHER

DEAR MOTHER: Try this: "Why don't you ask her?"

DEAR ABBY: I am writing about the mother of the bride who was much disturbed -- and properly so -- because of the "no-shows" at her daughter's wedding. She paid $25 per person, and there were eight guests who accepted but did not call to cancel and didn't show up.

Is there any reason why the parents of the bride who paid for the reception could not have asked the caterer to pack up the $200 worth of food so they could take it home?

Also, would it be a breach of etiquette for the parents or the newlyweds to call the no-shows and ask why they didn't attend the wedding after having accepted? (Am I the only one who thinks a telephone call or a note to the no- shows would be in order?) -- A.F.S.

DEAR A.F.S.: There is no reason why the parents of the bride shouldn't have asked the caterer to pack up the no-shows' dinners to be taken home and placed in their freezer to enjoy later.

However, I would neither call nor write the no-shows, asking why they didn't cancel when they knew they couldn't attend. Explanations (and apologies) are in order, but the no-shows should initiate them.

What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)