DEAR ABBY: I am 32 years old and people say I am very attractive. A year ago I started seeing "Alex." He was everything I ever wanted -- handsome, intelligent, successful. We were together almost every night, and he even started talking about marriage.
Then last month, out of the blue, he announced that he thinks we're getting "too serious" and we should both start seeing other people. That was the beginning of the end. It's like a bad dream. I can't stop crying. I'm in sales and my job requires my full attention, but I'm in a fog.
My eating is out of control. The night before last, I ate a whole barbecue chicken, a large pizza and three cheese Danishes. Tonight I consumed a pint of ice cream and almost a whole bag of cookies. My stomach hurt so bad I couldn't finish the cookies.
Abby, I dial his phone number 15 to 20 times a day just to hear his voice -- then I hang up. I'm sure he knows it's me. I'm humiliated he would dump me like this. How can I get him back? I love him! -- OUT OF CONTROL IN LOS ANGELES
DEAR OUT OF CONTROL: You may not be able to get him back, but you must regain control of your feelings and behavior. What you describe isn't "love," it's compulsive behavior. Dr. Susan Forward has written a book for people who can't let go of relationships that aren't working (or have ended) and find themselves feeling out of control. It's titled "Obsessive Love" (Bantam). Pick up a copy and read it. It will help you shift from pain and anxiety to healthy patterns of healing/recovery. Good luck.