DEAR ABBY: I've been waiting for years to see a letter like the one from "B in Dallas." (She said she faked orgasms.) I'm glad to know I'm not the only woman who does this. Now I'll feel less like a freak. Please print all the letters you get on the subject. -- SACRAMENTO FAKER

DEAR FAKER: I could not believe the volume of mail. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Of course I fake it. All women do. I adore my husband, but he couldn't find my erogenous zone with a road map, so I go through the motions to keep from hurting his masculine ego. -- DESERVES AN ACADEMY AWARD

DEAR ABBY: Most men have the rabbit habit: hop on, hop off. Athletes know that in order to perform well they must warm up first, perform, then cool down. The act of making love is no different. If men followed these instructions, women wouldn't have to fake it. -- MIDWEST COACH

DEAR ABBY: My darling is 65 and he's still making it. I'm 63 and still faking it. When I read about these men who are still active at 85, I shudder. I don't think I could survive another 20 years of this. Dear God, don't they ever wear out? -- LONG ISLAND FAKER

DEAR ABBY: Married for 22 years. Been faking it for 20. -- CHATTANOOGA "ACTRESS"

DEAR ABBY: I fake it just to get it over with. Sex never was as important to me as it is to my husband -- but it's so good for his ego, I'd never let on that all my wild carrying on was an act. We've been married for 44 years. He's faithful and so am I, and ours is a loving, solid marriage. -- CANADIAN FAKER

DEAR ABBY: I am 33 and my husband is 28. He's a wonderful man but a lousy lover. I don't dare get him too excited or it's all over before it's begun. We've been married for six years and we really love each other, so I can live with it. -- FAKING IT IN ST. PAUL

DEAR ABBY: My neighbor and I were discussing our inadequate sex lives over coffee one day. She said she often "fakes" orgasms with her husband, then I confessed that I also did with mine.

We decided to massage each other, and found it more satisfying than our husbands' efforts. Our husbands don't know the difference, and we are ... TWO WIVES HAPPY AT LAST

DEAR ABBY: Your reader thinks most women "fake it." Well, here's one who doesn't have to. Even though my husband is 79 and I'm 76, sex is still fun. We love to have our children visit us for a day or two, but when they leave, I put the red satin sheets on the waterbed, turn on some soft music and don my sexiest nightie. Then, let the fun begin. Believe me, faking isn't necessary. -- HAPPY HONEY IN HONOLULU

(More "fakers" tomorrow.)

Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I speak for the people who are in wheelchairs permanently, having been in one myself for a short time following a head injury.

Recently, I went to a concert in the park. I noticed a man in a wheelchair struggling to get to the dancing area. As he approached people, he would reach out as far as he could with his better hand. He was rejected time after time -- or just plain ignored.

Finally, my heart just couldn't take it anymore, so I walked over to him, took his hand and started swinging it back and forth to the rhythm of the music. Then I "danced" quickly around his wheelchair as I held his hand.

Ordinarily, I am scared to death to perform in front of people, but I was as peaceful and self-assured as I could be.

The only thing I saw was the look of happiness in his face. When the song ended, he pulled me close enough to give me a sweet little kiss on the cheek. After that, others "danced" with him, and he had a wonderful time.

Abby, I ask everyone to treat people in wheelchairs as if they were standing up -- to recognize their courage and realize that they have the same feelings as you do. -- CELESTE RICE, LORANE, ORE.

DEAR CELESTE: Thank you for a letter that warmed my heart and will be appreciated by many.

DEAR ABBY: My problem may seem insignificant compared to some you receive, but I need to air my feelings, and I hope my in-laws see this:

"Harry" and I have been married for 20 years (no children). We aren't poor, but he still gives me a weekly allowance for groceries. I worked the first nine years of our marriage, but I finally quit because all I was allowed to do with the money was make car payments on "our" car, which Harry drove most of the time.

Over the years, my in-laws have given us cards with checks enclosed for Christmas and anniversaries. They just hand the envelope to Harry in front of me, he promptly pockets it, and I never see it again. Once, I noticed that the check was made out for $1,000 to both of us.

If my in-laws ever asked me what we did with the money, I'd tell them the truth, but they have never asked. A few times I've asked Harry, and he said, "I've got it." End of conversation.

Don't mention "divorce," which I have considered a few times, but Harry would kill me before he'd give me a divorce. And lately, there have been times when I wish he would. -- TRAPPED

DEAR TRAPPED: Marriage should be a partnership; yours is more like a master-and-slave relationship. Christmas and anniversary checks from the in-laws should be spent on something you can both enjoy, something for your home or a vacation trip. They should not go into your husband's pocket never to be seen again.

But there's more than material inequality ailing your marriage. Please see a marriage counselor. If Harry refuses to go -- go without him. And if you still would "rather be dead," ending your miserable marriage is preferable to ending your life.

WORTH NOTING: "If the First Amendment means anything, it means that a state has no business telling a man, sitting alone in his house, what books he may read or what films he may watch." -- RETIRED JUSTICE THURGOOD MARSHALL, U.S. SUPREME COURT

What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter was married yesterday after some whirlwind planning in which we used your wedding planning book. A question has arisen that was not addressed in the book: Many guests brought their gifts to the reception.

When the gifts were collected to be taken home, the ushers handed the bride's father a stack of envelopes that had been on the gift table. We have no idea whether these envelopes are gifts themselves, or became separated from their packages.

When the newlyweds return from their honeymoon in three weeks, they will have a massive job of unwrapping. What do they do if they find several unidentified packages and assorted cards? How do they match them up to be sure they thank the right guests for the right gifts? -- BARBARA K., KENILWORTH, ILL.

DEAR BARBARA: When the bride returns, she will open the envelopes. Some will probably contain "the gift" (money), and those envelopes that became separated from the gifts will (let's hope) contain cards signed with first and last names.

Write thank-you notes to those you match up with gifts. And telephone (or write) to the others, tell them that their card and gift became separated, then ask them which gift was theirs. Embarrassing? Yes. But that's the price one pays when such accidents occur.

There ought to be a law against hand-carrying gifts to weddings. It imposes a burden on the bride's parents, who must take the gifts home and store them until the newlyweds return.

Wedding gifts should be sent directly to the bride in plenty of time for her to open them and make a record of the gift and the giver, so the giver can be properly thanked.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing this in regard to your column titled "Obituary Relating to Cause of Death Adds to Family's Grief."

Circumstances can sometimes dictate just the opposite. My lovely 19-year-old granddaughter, who lived in another town, was killed in a car accident just three days after her high school graduation -- a few months ago.

When we were making the funeral arrangements, we asked the funderal director to state the cause of death in her obituary. We are well-known in this community, and we wished to be spared the numerous telephone calls asking about the cause of her sudden death.

The funeral director, unfortunately, neglected to follow through on our request, and consequently, we were plagued with calls, which added much to our grief every time we had to relate the circumstances of her death. -- GRIEVING ILLINOIS GRANDMA

DEAR GRANDMA: You make an excellent point. Thank you for taking the time to write. And please accept my deepest sympathy on the tragic loss of your grandddaughter.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)