DEAR ABBY: Ten years ago, I became pregnant with "Joe's" baby. We were going to get married, but Joe got into a jam (armed robbery) and was sentenced to 10 years in prison. Joe is due to get out in two months. Now the problem.
When my baby (I'll call him Gary) was 8 months old, I fell in love with a man I'll call Tony. Tony and I were married, and Gary was raised to believe that Tony is his "real" father. My family and Tony's family know the truth about Gary's "real" father, but nobody ever talks about it. Joe's mother and sister also know the whole story.
My question: Should I tell Gary who his real father is? Tony says he will support my decision.
I'm afraid I will lose Gary's trust if I tell him I have lied to him all these years.
What do you think? -- SILENT FOR 10 YEARS
DEAR SILENT: You had better tell Gary who his real father is before someone else does. It won't be easy, but it's far better that he hear it from you than from someone else, and when three people know a secret, it's no longer a secret.