DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful husband. "George" and I have been married for 16 years. Last summer George was going through a mid-life crisis and began shutting me out and spending most of his time at work.

A young woman -- 10 years his junior, married and temporarily separated from her husband -- began buying George lunch, complaining that she was unhappy at home, her husband was a poor lover, etc. She started praising my husband and feeding his ego.

Then one day she told him that her car was in the shop and she needed a ride home, so he drove her home and she invited him in "to talk." She asked George to kiss her. He did, and before he knew it, they were in bed. In the middle of the act, George said he realized that he was in the wrong place with the wrong woman, so he got out of bed, took a shower and came home to me. (This was his version.) He confessed, begged for my forgiveness and we prayed together. He said it was the worst sexual experience he ever had -- he didn't even complete the act.

George went to confession and told the priest everything. The priest said that technically George did not commit adultery because he did not complete the physical act. Is this true? I want to believe him. -- GEORGE'S WIFE

DEAR WIFE: Adultery, in traditional Catholic theology, does not depend on the completion of the physical act. (" ... anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:28.)

George's "mid-life crisis" is a cry for help, and his lapse of faithfulness is a symptom of an ailing marriage. But since he has been a faithful husband for 16 years, you should be less concerned about the biblical definition of adultery, and more concerned about the state of your marriage. You could both benefit from counseling.

Forgive him, unconditionally, and he will remain in the right place with the right woman, and your next 16 years should be even more wonderful than your first.

DEAR ABBY: After reading a couple of articles in your column about funny wedding nights and foldout couches, I'd like to tell you about our honeymoon -- more than 45 years ago. After World War II we were married in Connecticut and drove to California with our best man. Three on a honeymoon! We decided on this because my husband, Dick, and his best friend, Walter (their real names), were both still stationed at Hamilton Air Force Base in San Rafael, Calif.

We never had any reservations and rooms were hard to get, so we all slept in the same room every night, and they dragged in a cot for our best man. We got a lot of funny looks, but we knew everything was on the up and up, so we just laughed.

Poor Walter sat through a lot of lousy double features in an effort to give the newlyweds some time alone together.

To this day, we still laugh about our off-the-wall honeymoon. -- ANN SNOW, NAPERVILLE, ILL.

DEAR ABBY: The letter from the woman who was upset because her husband's friend didn't know how to use a fork properly reminded me of the following: Anton Chekhov, the great Russian writer, once said: "A well-mannered person is not one who knows which fork to use first, but one who doesn't notice when others use the wrong one." -- A STARS AND STRIPES FAN

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 31-year-old married (with children) woman. I have an embarrassing secret.

When I was 20, I was arrested on a felony charge -- transportation of pot into a prison. The charge was dropped to a misdemeanor, and I was given a one-year probation since I had never been in trouble before as an adult. I haven't been in any trouble since then.

I have noticed that on job applications certain questions are asked about "any arrests." I don't want to lie on a job application and risk being caught and later being fired -- or even being sent to jail because of lying on the application. So, my question is this: Since my arrest was so long ago, is there a way for me to have it sealed so that I can put that part of my life behind me and not worry about it following me for the rest of my life?

Please don't print my name or address. -- GOING STRAIGHT

DEAR GOING STRAIGHT: In some states, if the offender was under 21 years of age when the crime was committed and has subsequently proved to be of good character, the record can be expunged (destroyed). Consult a lawyer. It may cost a few hundred dollars, but the peace of mind would be well worth the price.

DEAR ABBY: In a recent letter from "Heartbroken in Lakewood, N.J.," the writer was distressed over the death of her pet from ingesting antifreeze left on the driveway, and cautioned your readers to hose down their driveways so that their pets are not poisoned.

Abby, unintentional acts of pollution are not only dangerous to residents and their pets, but have similar impacts on the fish and wildlife who are on the receiving end of our storm (drain) water. Most liquid substances washed into storm drains get dumped, untreated, into our rivers and lakes -- where one pint of oil will produce a one-acre oil slick.

The Congress and states are attempting to clean up storm drainage as part of the Clean Water Act. Disposing of oil, antifreeze, paint or paint thinner, household cleansers and other substances by dumping them into gutters and storm drains not only damages the environment but is also a crime.

So, Abby, urge your readers to call their local public works department and find out where to dump used oil and how to properly dispose of other toxic liquids. Remember, for most of us, the water you wash away could be someone else's water supply! Please don't put anything down a gutter or storm drain that you wouldn't want to drink or swim in. -- BERT McCOLLAM, DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC WORKS, SACRAMENTO, CALIF.

DEAR MR. McCOLLAM: Consider it done! Read on:

DEAR ABBY: In reference to Fluffy, the sweet little dog who lapped up the antifreeze her owner left in the driveway, it isn't clear whether the Sunday mechanic collected most of the antifreeze and spilled a little, or just drained it on the driveway.

Abby, if the antifreeze killed Fluffy, just imagine what it would do to the environment if it were hosed off the driveway and into the ecosystem.

Please, tell your readers that ALL antifreeze (as well as oils) should be collected and disposed of properly. Shops that change oil must, by law, accept used oil. -- J.H.K., HEMPSTEAD, N.Y.

"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Last year, my sister gave me a large plastic PLEASE CALL POLICE banner, which I kept in the glove compartment of my car. She said it could be a lifesaver if I ever had car trouble on the road, because I could get help without putting myself in danger by having to leave my car to seek assistance.

I took my car in for service a couple of weeks ago and had my banner folded in the glove compartment. When I went to pick up my car, the banner was gone.

When I asked my sister where she got hers, she said she had sent for it after reading a letter in your column from a woman whose car had broken down on a highway as she was rushing to the side of her critically ill child. She had placed her PLEASE CALL POLICE banner over her windshield, and it took only minutes for a state trooper to come to her aid.

I would like to replace that banner. Please tell me where I can get one. I am single and commute 300 miles every weekend. -- CHARLOTTE B., LAS VEGAS, NEV.

DEAR CHARLOTTE: Write to WCIL-BANNERS, P.O. Box 66955, Los Angeles, Calif. 90066. You will receive one PLEASE CALL POLICE banner as a premium for a $5 contribution to WCIL, and another banner with each additional $4 contribution. (Many people want two, one for the windshield and one for the rear window.)

Make your check or money order (U.S. funds only, please) payable to WCIL-BANNERS. Allow eight weeks for delivery. The Westside Center for Independent Living is a not-for-profit organization that helps disabled people live independently.

DEAR ABBY: Please help! My 17-year-old son, who just graduated from high school, has been invited to accompany his girlfriend's family on a month-long vacation across the country. As the girl's parents did not consult me before inviting him, I am now in the position of being the mean mom if I refuse to let him go.

As a registered nurse in the obstetrical unit that provides services for about 100 unwed teen-age girls a week, I am very much aware of the dangers of allowing teen-agers to spend large amounts of time together unsupervised. His parents will be there, but I'm very uncomfortable about the closeness this kind of vacation will provide. Secondly, we have a 15-year-old daughter, and I can't afford to set this kind of precedent for a similar situation involving her.

And finally, our son has a summer job to pay for his clothes and books for college this fall, and a month's absence would significantly decrease his contribution to college financing.

Needless to say, our once-quiet household is being torn apart by this situation. Please rush your reply. -- CONCERNED MOM

DEAR CONCERNED: Remind your son that he agreed to work this summer to help with his college expenses, so he can forget about accompanying his girlfriend on her family's vacation trip. And don't be apologetic when you tell him. His girlfriend's parents should have consulted you before inviting him. At 17, he is still a minor.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)