DEAR ABBY: I'm a 65-year-old father of six; the youngest left the nest two years ago at the age of 26. Although I was divorced almost 15 years ago, I've always provided a good home for all of them and helped with college, cars, etc. I retired two years ago, hoping to travel and enjoy my "golden years." That's when my 34-year-old daughter, "Jenny," divorced her husband after seven years on welfare and moved into my home with her 10-year-old son. Now I find myself cooking, baby sitting and cleaning house for the two of them, and I resent it.

I have enough retirement income to support myself comfortably and take a few trips, but I shouldn't have to support Jenny and Junior, much less have them live with me so I can't feel comfortable having an overnight guest or a dip in my pool "au naturel."

So, my question is, How do I get rid of them? I think I've paid my dues, and now it's my turn. What do you think? -- HAD IT IN SUNNY CALIFORNIA

DEAR HAD IT: I think it's time you gathered the gumption to tell Jenny that you love her, but your golden years are beginning to tarnish. Tell her quite frankly that you can no longer have her and Junior as your houseguests, so she will have to make other living arrangements. (Offer to help her relocate, if necessary.)

The alternative is to chicken out and sacrifice your privacy. The choice is yours, Dad.

DEAR ABBY: I have been reading your column for maybe 30 years, and I can't believe I am actually writing to you, but here goes:

I had a very happy marriage for 30 years and then my husband passed away. Two years later, I remarried. It was love at first sight, but I should have taken a second look.

I have been married to this no-good, wife-beating alcoholic maniac for eight years. His filthy language alone is driving me crazy. We do not eat together because he picks a fight the minute he sits down. We don't sleep together because I can't stand the way he thrashes around and hollers in his sleep, so I sleep with my little dog, which my husband hates.

I would like to get a divorce because I am not happy with this man, but my friends tell me that a divorce is always painful and will leave deep scars. Don't suggest counseling. My husband knows everything and won't listen to anybody. By the way, this hypocrite goes to church every Sunday; then he comes home and drinks a whole bottle of wine by himself. Don't suggest A.A. -- he won't go.

Abby, please tell me what to do. When my man drinks he gets mean. By the way, I've suffered two broken wrists, three broken fingers and a broken nose. -- MISERABLE

DEAR MISERABLE: Don't listen to your friends. A separation or divorce from this no-good, wife-beating alcoholic maniac (your words) could be no more painful than your marriage. I rarely advise people to separate or divorce, but in your case, I'm making an exception. Call a lawyer while you are still able to dial the number.

DEAR ABBY: Your "Confidential to G.F. in Dayton, Ohio" astounded me, as it seemed to imply that because the Wright brothers were bachelors, they could not have had any direct descendants. Do you actually believe that bachelors are somehow incapable of having "direct descendants"? -- LEBERT DUKE, PITTSBURGH

DEAR LEBERT: I am indeed aware that bachelors are capable of procreating, but I was referring to LEGITIMATE progeny. Somehow, I could not conceive (pun intended) of the Wright brothers being such high fliers.

People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend moved in with me six months before our wedding date. I bought my dress and my mother's, and started making plans for our wedding. Two weeks later, my boyfriend said he wanted to postpone our wedding for another year. A month later, he came home and said, "I'm moving out. I don't want to live with you anymore, and I have also decided I don't want to get married"!

I was very upset about his change of mind because I really love him. Then I told myself, "It is better to find out now that I can't depend on him," but my heart was broken anyway.

Three months later he came over and said he still loves me and wants to move back in with me again. Abby, I still love him, but I am wondering if I should let him move back.

Please help me make a decision. My wedding dress is still in the box. My family says I should forget him. -- STILL HURTING

DEAR HURTING: Don't let him move back in with you. And while you are "still hurting," don't let him back into your life. Please get professional counseling (your local mental health association is in your phone book). Through counseling, you will find out why you still "love" a man who has treated you so shabbily.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a best friend for more than 20 years. We've known each other since fourth grade. We have always been able to discuss everything and anything honestly. However, my friend has gained a frightening amount of weight during the last two years. She appears to be at least 100 pounds over her normal weight, but she absolutely refuses to talk about it. Meanwhile, she eats up a storm!

Every time I mention it, she gets angry and cuts me short. I am worried about her blood pressure and even a possible heart attack because heart trouble runs in her family. She's a beautiful, generous person anad I love her dearly, but this lady is killing herself. What can I say without alienating her?

Someone asked her recently when her "baby" was due, and it really hurt her feelings. -- A HEAVY PROBLEM

DEAR PROBLEM: I assure you that no one knows better than your friend that she is dangerously overweight, but until she wants to do something about it, no one can help her, so don't nag her.

The biggest favor you can do her would be to get her to see her doctor. Talk about "health," not weight. She could have a compulsion to overeat for one of a number of reasons. Morbidly obese people need psychological help as well as a nutritious eating program, but it all has to start in a physician's office. If you can work a miracle, you may save your friend's life by starting there. Good luck.

DEAR ABBY: I have asked many people, but no one seems to have the answer, so I'm asking you!

Of what significance is the "eye" in the upper part of the pyramid on the back of the U.S. $1 bill? My Canadian granddaughter has asked me, but I haven't been able to find the answer for her. -- L.B. IN GREAT FALLS, MONT.

DEAR L.B.: I wasn't aware of the "eye" (or the pyramid) on the back of the U.S. dollar bill. (I needed a magnifying glass to find it!)

According to Ron Supinski, manager of media relations for the Federal Reserve Bank in San Francisco, "The unfinished pyramid and the eye go together. The eye represents the eternal eye of a diety. The pyramid is a symbol of material strength and enduring foundation for future growth and a goal of perfection. The pyramid is unfinished because it represents our country's future and our unfinished goals."

Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: One would think that after 34 years of pastoral experience, I would have been prepared, but when asked by a professional adult, whose father's funeral I had just conducted, "What do you charge?" I answered, "Nothing"! The reply I received was, "If you will give me the name and address of your church, I will send a check in your honor."

I should have said, "Nothing, but I am accustomed to receiving an honorarium -- especially from non-church members." And I could have added, "Today is my third trip to this city, totaling 240 miles. At a mere 20 cents per mile, that would be almost $50 for expenses alone -- not including the six to eight hours spent in travel and preparation."

Last month I was asked to conduct a funeral service for a non-church member who lived in our community. I received an honorarium of $100, which was greatly appreciated and set aside for a future vacation.

The majority of pastors are underpaid and taken for granted. My wife reminded me of the time I was paid $10 for a wedding with the suggestion that I split it with the pianist! -- ANOTHER GEORGIA PASTOR

DEAR PASTOR: Perhaps your letter will remind readers who require the services of a clergyperson for happy occasions (weddings, christenings,) as well as sad ones (funerals, last rites, etc.) that Hoover is no longer in the White House, and the clergyperson should be appropriately compensated for his/her automobile use, gasoline, dry cleaning, haircut -- not to mention the effort and the time spent in preparing and delivering the service.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and her husband are separated. Their children -- an 8-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son -- spend one weekend with their father and the next with their mom.

When they are at their father's, both children sleep in the same double bed with him. I think this is a bad idea and I told him so. His reaction to my protestations was, "Well, it's not as though I sleep in the nude -- I always wear shorts!"

Abby, both children are developing rapidly and our whole family is concerned about their sleeping arrangements when they're at their dad's. Are we overreacting? Or do you think our concerns are valid? -- GRANDMA

DEAR GRANDMA: Your concerns are valid. Not only should your grandson and granddaughter not be sleeping with their father -- they should not be sleeping with each other.

DEAR ABBY: I had to laugh when I read the letter from "A Lusting Guy in Indy" who roamed the malls lusting after slim maidens in tight jeans.

After 23 years of marriage, like a lot of other women, I've put on a few extra pounds. Try as I may, I can't get them off.

One day, my hubby asked me -- with a sad expression, "Whatever happened to that little 24-inch waist I married?"

I replied -- with an equally sad expression, "Well, Dear, I left it in the '50s with your hair!" (He's bald!) -- NOBODY'S PERFECT

"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)