DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend moved in with me six months before our wedding date. I bought my dress and my mother's, and started making plans for our wedding. Two weeks later, my boyfriend said he wanted to postpone our wedding for another year. A month later, he came home and said, "I'm moving out. I don't want to live with you anymore, and I have also decided I don't want to get married"!

I was very upset about his change of mind because I really love him. Then I told myself, "It is better to find out now that I can't depend on him," but my heart was broken anyway.

Three months later he came over and said he still loves me and wants to move back in with me again. Abby, I still love him, but I am wondering if I should let him move back.

Please help me make a decision. My wedding dress is still in the box. My family says I should forget him. -- STILL HURTING

DEAR HURTING: Don't let him move back in with you. And while you are "still hurting," don't let him back into your life. Please get professional counseling (your local mental health association is in your phone book). Through counseling, you will find out why you still "love" a man who has treated you so shabbily.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a best friend for more than 20 years. We've known each other since fourth grade. We have always been able to discuss everything and anything honestly. However, my friend has gained a frightening amount of weight during the last two years. She appears to be at least 100 pounds over her normal weight, but she absolutely refuses to talk about it. Meanwhile, she eats up a storm!

Every time I mention it, she gets angry and cuts me short. I am worried about her blood pressure and even a possible heart attack because heart trouble runs in her family. She's a beautiful, generous person anad I love her dearly, but this lady is killing herself. What can I say without alienating her?

Someone asked her recently when her "baby" was due, and it really hurt her feelings. -- A HEAVY PROBLEM

DEAR PROBLEM: I assure you that no one knows better than your friend that she is dangerously overweight, but until she wants to do something about it, no one can help her, so don't nag her.

The biggest favor you can do her would be to get her to see her doctor. Talk about "health," not weight. She could have a compulsion to overeat for one of a number of reasons. Morbidly obese people need psychological help as well as a nutritious eating program, but it all has to start in a physician's office. If you can work a miracle, you may save your friend's life by starting there. Good luck.

DEAR ABBY: I have asked many people, but no one seems to have the answer, so I'm asking you!

Of what significance is the "eye" in the upper part of the pyramid on the back of the U.S. $1 bill? My Canadian granddaughter has asked me, but I haven't been able to find the answer for her. -- L.B. IN GREAT FALLS, MONT.

DEAR L.B.: I wasn't aware of the "eye" (or the pyramid) on the back of the U.S. dollar bill. (I needed a magnifying glass to find it!)

According to Ron Supinski, manager of media relations for the Federal Reserve Bank in San Francisco, "The unfinished pyramid and the eye go together. The eye represents the eternal eye of a diety. The pyramid is a symbol of material strength and enduring foundation for future growth and a goal of perfection. The pyramid is unfinished because it represents our country's future and our unfinished goals."

Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: One would think that after 34 years of pastoral experience, I would have been prepared, but when asked by a professional adult, whose father's funeral I had just conducted, "What do you charge?" I answered, "Nothing"! The reply I received was, "If you will give me the name and address of your church, I will send a check in your honor."

I should have said, "Nothing, but I am accustomed to receiving an honorarium -- especially from non-church members." And I could have added, "Today is my third trip to this city, totaling 240 miles. At a mere 20 cents per mile, that would be almost $50 for expenses alone -- not including the six to eight hours spent in travel and preparation."

Last month I was asked to conduct a funeral service for a non-church member who lived in our community. I received an honorarium of $100, which was greatly appreciated and set aside for a future vacation.

The majority of pastors are underpaid and taken for granted. My wife reminded me of the time I was paid $10 for a wedding with the suggestion that I split it with the pianist! -- ANOTHER GEORGIA PASTOR

DEAR PASTOR: Perhaps your letter will remind readers who require the services of a clergyperson for happy occasions (weddings, christenings,) as well as sad ones (funerals, last rites, etc.) that Hoover is no longer in the White House, and the clergyperson should be appropriately compensated for his/her automobile use, gasoline, dry cleaning, haircut -- not to mention the effort and the time spent in preparing and delivering the service.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and her husband are separated. Their children -- an 8-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son -- spend one weekend with their father and the next with their mom.

When they are at their father's, both children sleep in the same double bed with him. I think this is a bad idea and I told him so. His reaction to my protestations was, "Well, it's not as though I sleep in the nude -- I always wear shorts!"

Abby, both children are developing rapidly and our whole family is concerned about their sleeping arrangements when they're at their dad's. Are we overreacting? Or do you think our concerns are valid? -- GRANDMA

DEAR GRANDMA: Your concerns are valid. Not only should your grandson and granddaughter not be sleeping with their father -- they should not be sleeping with each other.

DEAR ABBY: I had to laugh when I read the letter from "A Lusting Guy in Indy" who roamed the malls lusting after slim maidens in tight jeans.

After 23 years of marriage, like a lot of other women, I've put on a few extra pounds. Try as I may, I can't get them off.

One day, my hubby asked me -- with a sad expression, "Whatever happened to that little 24-inch waist I married?"

I replied -- with an equally sad expression, "Well, Dear, I left it in the '50s with your hair!" (He's bald!) -- NOBODY'S PERFECT

"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I work with my brother-in-law. While routinely going over his telephone bill, I noticed there were recurring calls to the same telephone number made only on weekends and after work hours -- all charged to my brother-in-law's private office line. Being suspicious, I called the number myself, and a woman answered!

I confronted my brother-in-law and told him either to tell my sister about this woman he has been calling -- or I would. Well, he acted like I was crazy for even suggesting there was any impropriety.

I figured if I was really wrong in my suspicions, then he would tell my sister what I had accused him of, but so far she hasn't mentioned anything about it, and he has been overly nice to me.

Should I sit and watch this go on, or tell my sister of my suspicions? Or should I just keep checking the telephone bills? Meanwhile, I can barely stand the sight of my brother-in-law, and I can hardly look my sister in the eye. -- KEEPING COOL

DEAR KEEPING COOL: Keep your mouth shut and your nose out of your brother-in-law's business. As an employee, you may be privy to bills and confidential information, but until you KNOW something, you are only guessing.

DEAR ABBY: Re a recent letter in your column concerning a convicted felon's right to vote: While it is true (as you said) that a felon may not vote while he is serving time, ex-felons can vote -- at least they can in California. Being an ex-felon myself, I know how embarrassing it can be to reveal that one is an ex-felon. Thus, many ex-felons do not ask if they may register to vote after their sentences are up. Many believe that they have forever lost their right to vote, which is not true.

Ex-felons can vote, take out loans, and even become lawyers in many places. Please make this clear. -- A LOYAL READER, SACRAMENTO

DEAR READER: Thank you for making it clear that after convicted felons have served their time, they regain their right to vote in California.

DEAR ABBY: From time to time you print letters about some small act of human kindness. I submit the following:

A little over a year ago, my husband, a staff sergeant in the Marine Corps, was leaving to spend a year away from his family. This was a very difficult time for us. His flight left from San Francisco, so my brother (who lives in the Bay area), met my husband at the airport and took him out for a real nice dinner before putting him on the plane.

While they were enjoying their dinner, the waitress came up to them and informed them that a gentleman a few tables away had already paid for their meals! Neither my brother nor my husband knew this man. When the anonymous benefactor stood up to leave, my husband stood up, walked over to him, shook his hand and thanked him.

The man replied, "Thank YOU, Marine!" -- SANDRA GALLAGHER, MATHER A.F.B., CALIF.

WORTH REMEMBERING: "'It is the nature of man,' Machiavelli wrote five centuries ago, 'to feel as much bound by the favors they do as by those they receive.' While people are eternally forgetful of favors done for them, they rarely forget the favors they have done others." -- Christopher Matthews (from Forbes magazine)

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)