DEAR ABBY: My grandson (I'll call him Stuart) is a 19-year-old college student. A few weeks ago, I noticed that a stage play was coming to town. Because Stuart had played the lead in that play in high school, I wrote to him, offering to treat him and a friend to two tickets. I asked him to let me know which performance he wanted to see so that I could purchase the tickets and mail them to him.
Two weeks went by. I didn't hear one word from Stuart, then his other grandmother told me that Stuart was "pleased" with my offer, but he was "too busy" to accept.
I told my son (Stuart's father) that I was hurt and displeased that his son didn't do me the courtesy of giving me that message personally, whereupon my son immediately came to his son's defense, pointing out what a fine lad he was -- no drinking, no smoking, no drugs. I added, "And no manners."
Now I'm the heavy. Everyone is mad at me, and I am mad at my grandson. Your comments, please. -- THE HEAVY
DEAR HEAVY: Your grandson should have personally acknowledged your offer of the tickets with thanks and regrets for his inability to accept.
But since he failed to do so, you should not have attempted to punish him by reporting his bad manners to his father. A 19-year-old college student is old enough to take his own lumps. Should Stuart have another lapse of bad manners, sock it to HIM -- not his father.