DEAR ABBY: Last weekend my wife's former college roommate, "Kathy," came to visit my wife and me. We had not seen her since 1986. She had sent a Christmas card, which we followed up with a phone call inviting her for a weekend. She lives two hours away, and accepted immediately -- then she called back and asked if she could bring her new boyfriend. Well, we thought, "Any boyfriend of Kathy's would be as delightful as Kathy." Right? Wrong!
Kathy's boyfriend (I'll call him Chuck) turned out to be the most overbearing, crude, obnoxious, know-it-all we had ever met. He was argumentative, loud and just plain rude. We bit our tongues the entire weekend to keep from telling him where to go!
The problem is that Kathy seems to like this guy and she indicated that she and Chuck would be back regularly for weekend visits! She also suggested that we take a vacation trip with them.
So how do we go about telling Kathy that we think Chuck is a first-class jerk and she deserves better? Or should we keep quiet and hope she sees the light and dumps this rude dude? -- STUMPED
DEAR STUMPED: Be honest. If Kathy asks you what you think of Chuck, don't offer phony praise to keep from hurting her feelings. Tell her now not to include you in any vacations with her and Chuck because you don't enjoy his company that much. She may be offended, but it might inspire her to take a harder look at her new boyfriend and cause her to chuck Chuck.