DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been catching it from my wife and daughter about my not wanting to change diapers or bathe or feed my new granddaughter.

Truth is my wife did all those things for our own babies without hardly any help from me because the nature of my work meant she had to carry most of the childcare load. Even when I got out of the service while our kids were still little, I went to work for a long-haul trucking company, which I stayed at until I retired.

I have tried to pitch in some when we have our granddaughter over, but I get told I am not doing it right, so between that and being lacking in experience, I find it is much easier to step back and let the ladies do their thing. And then I get in trouble for that too!

I really do want to help, especially because this is my chance to do the baby duty I missed out on all those years ago. But what is a new Grandpa to do? --- NEW GRANDPA

DEAR NEW GRANDPA: I think it’s time you openly tell your wife and daughter that you truly want to help but feel less than prepared for the job of caring for your baby granddaughter.

You can still probably expect them to give you a little flack, but hopefully they’ll also provide you with some necessary on-the-job-training.

Don’t be shy about asking why things are or aren’t done a certain way. Such questions may prove useful to you and provide the ladies with a chance to explain the reasons behind what they do.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have a neighbor who has had a few bad breaks on the job, literally. He works construction and had back-to-back on-the-job injuries.

I am semi-retired so when Paul asked if I would mind driving him to some of his physical therapy and doctor appointments since he hasn’t been able to drive, I said I would be glad to help.

That was three months ago, and I am beginning to think that not only is Paul taking advantage of his employers and their workers’ comp, but of me.

I have no problem helping someone out, but it seems to me that maybe Paul’s injuries aren’t nearly as bad as he is making them out to be. But if I’m wrong and stop taking him to his appointments, how does that make me look? --- CAN’T TELL

DEAR CAN’T TELL: Have you raised the subject of how long his treatments are expected to take with Paul? It’s not an unreasonable question to ask someone who’s rehabbing from multiple injuries. Nor should it come as a surprise to him that you’re invested in his recovery given how much of your own time you’ve put into helping him.

While it’s possible that he is indeed milking the system, it’s also possible that his multiple injuries are complicating his healing.

Feeling like you’re being taken advantage of is never pleasant, but if you’re genuinely helping a neighbor to get better, you’re doing something admirable.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have been at quite a few weddings where I did not particularly love how revealing the bride’s gown was. I know a few of them had extra cover-ups they wore during the Mass and took off for the reception.

My granddaughter just sent me a photo of her in the gown she has chosen for her wedding. She is so happy and excited about it, but I think it makes her look like Madonna on tour in the 1980s. It’s a shear beaded sheath, which goes to below her knees and shows her thong loud and clear.

It’s a good thing they opted for not having the ceremony at out parish church, but I can still imagine the look on Fr. _____’s face when he sees her come down the venue’s isle.

My granddaughter is a beautiful girl with a beautiful figure. If I looked that good, I’d show it all off too, just not on my wedding day.

Her mother doesn’t love it either, but says it’s her daughter’s day. So what are you going to do? --- WHERE’S THE DRESS?

DEAR WHERE’S THE DRESS?: It’s a to each their own world when it comes to weddings. Your note makes me think of the wedding portraits from the days of big hair, big dresses, and big hats, which preceded and followed several other now memorable bridal styles.

Someday well in the future your granddaughter may look at pictures from her wedding and second-guess the wisdom of her choice, or perhaps not.

For now, your daughter’s correct in saying it’s the bride’s day, and she’s entitled to have it her way.