DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Our 11-year-old son started having night terrors a few months ago. His pediatrician gave us some excellent techniques to help him get through them, and most nights we are able to get him settled back down quickly after he has one of his bad nights.
The problem is we live in a two-bedroom condo, which means he shares the room with his 7-year-old brother, and my husband and I are right next-door.
I am pregnant with our third child, and between work and taking care of the boys, I am beyond exhausted by the time I get to bed. When he had an episode last week I did not hear it until he was screaming and his little brother was on the floor crying in the corner of their bedroom.
I feel so guilty I was not there right away for our boy. My husband handled it perfectly and has been doing everything he can to help both our sons and me.
We have been reassured by our pediatrician saying that this is not uncommon and that our son will most likely outgrow them, but I fear that our younger son will also develop night terrors and with the baby coming, I don’t know how I will cope. --- GUILTY AND SCARED
DEAR GUILTY AND SCARED: You have no reason to feel guilty about not being the first to respond to your son’s recent night terror episode. You’re juggling enough with everything going on, especially the pregnancy, so cut yourself a good bit of slack at least once in a while.
By putting the techniques suggested by your pediatrician in practice to soothe your son, you and your husband are doing what you can to help him manage these frightening episodes.
Worrying about whether or not your younger son will have similar experiences in the future is just putting more stress on yourself than you need to do at this point.
It might not be a bad idea to share what’s going on with your OB providers, if you haven’t yet. They may be able to recommend a few things to help relieve your stress and manage your own sleep routine, which I’m sure has been thrown off by both the pregnancy and your worries about your son and the rest of the family.