DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Two days before last Valentine’s Day I discovered my wife was cheating on me. I found out accidentally thanks to a screwup on restaurant reservations.
Advertisement
When it was all in the open, it turned out she had started cheating on me less than a year into our marriage. It still makes me feel hurt, angry, and embarrassed.
I’m with someone new this year. Things are going really well and I know she is looking forward to some kind of big romantic Valentine’s Day gesture from me and I honestly don’t have it in me.
I’ve never told her the details about how my marriage ended, and I didn’t want to have to tell her. But do you think I ought to so she knows my not wanting to do anything big about Valentine’s Day has nothing to do with her and my feelings for her? --- NO FAN OF VALENTINE’S DAY
DEAR NO FAN OF VALENTINE’S DAY: As painful as it may be for you to reopen those hurtful memories from last year, I think you owe your new love interest an explanation about why you’re far from crazy about Valentine’s Day.
You needn’t share more details than you believe are absolutely necessary to help explain where you’re coming from.
Once she knows — and hopefully understands — why you feel as you do about February 14th, perhaps you and she can come up with an alternate way of celebrating your romance on a different day that’s special to just you two.