DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My family moved into a neighborhood transitioning from its original owners to a lot of young families, like mine. We happen to live next to one of the last of the original owners.

We have lived here now for almost six months, and except for seeing her getting her mail and coming and going from her driveway, we rarely catch a sight of her. She seems neither nice nor rude, but just kind of in her own world.

The one thing that’s really odd about her is how she spies on us, especially when we are in the backyard. Her bedroom looks out over our backyard, and more times than I can tell you we have seen her curtains move if we happen to look up to her house, as if she has just stepped away from the window.

Our teenage daughter finds it creepy. I think she is a little lonely, and although it strikes me as a touch weird, I think she is harmless.

Is it worth saying something to her about her peeking out at us, or just let the strange old lady do her thing? --- BEING WATCHED

DEAR BEING WATCHED: You haven’t mentioned if you or anyone in your family attempted to initiate direct contact with your neighbor in the six months you’ve lived next door to her.

If not, it seems to make more sense to me to reach out to her and offer a simple introduction, rather than open communications with accusations of spying on your family.

By breaking the ice, not only might you get a better feel for the kind of person she is, but you’ll have made a reasonable effort at neighborliness, possibly opening the door to more regular relations between the two households. That way the next time you see the moving curtain, you could toss a smile and a casual wave her way.

It’s amazing how effective a warm smile can be, especially to someone who may be, as you speculate, lonely.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother was the biggest helicopter mom out of all my friends’ moms, and that is saying something!

I NEVER asked her to step in and fight my fights. Worse than that, her interference made problems for me where there weren’t even any.

To show how bad it was, a few years ago I ran into a retired teacher I had in elementary school. She told me she and the other teachers in the school used to feel sort of sorry for me because they knew from experience how such an “active, involved parent” can complicate life for some students.

I swore I would not ever do to my kids what my mother did to me and my brother, and I have kept that promise.

I made a gigantic mistake last week, though, when I mentioned to my mother that my daughter had gotten her first “warning” because she and some other girls were getting rough on the playground.

My mother started flipping out and saying it wasn’t my daughter’s fault if the staff wasn’t keeping an eye on things, and this is the kind of thing that starts trouble for a student because everyone will think my daughter’s a bully, and all this on-and-on-and-on stuff.

I told her flat out this is MY daughter we’re talking about, and it was none of her business.

She got pissy with me and said I wasn’t much of a mother if I didn’t stick up for my kids.

Her words hurt regardless of how wrong I know she is. But what has me more upset is she hinted she “would have to say something” to the principal, who happened to be a teacher at the same school when I went there.

How do I put a stick in my mother’s helicopter blades? --- DON’T NEED THE “HELP” OR THE HASSLE

DEAR DON’T NEED THE “HELP” OR THE HASSLE: It sounds like you already started strong by letting your mother know in no uncertain terms that you don’t need her assistance with your child’s school life.

Given her history with your own childhood, however, it’ll likely take more than one reminder to reinforce your demands that she back off.

Hopefully your mom won’t feel she can capitalize on her prior knowledge of the current principal. I’d advise that if you get a confirmation that her contacting the school herself is indeed in the works, it may not be a bad idea to give the school a heads-up that they’ll possibly be hearing from your mother. Any seasoned administrator will have a strategy or two onboard to handle helicopters of every generation.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My first real boyfriend also happens to be the son of my parents’ best friends. We grew up together and were a couple for about three years. It was a running prediction from both sets of parents we would get married and they could be co-grandparents to our babies.

We made it halfway through college still together and then he met somebody else and dumped me unexpectedly, at least to me. It caused a break between our parents as well, and they were never again as close, even though they are friends again, but not like they used to be.

Because his parents are invited to my wedding, along with their daughter and her husband, my mother thought we should invite Mark, my old boyfriend.

My fiancé only met him a few times during visits to my parents’ during the holidays, when the two families still get together.

To say Dave hates Mark doesn’t begin to cover it. He was sure Mark was making a play for me the whole time we were all in town for the holiday week.

I told him no way was I interested in Mark and haven’t been since we were much younger and he stomped my heart, but it still upset him, and Mark could not possibly have missed the tension. I know the rest of the two families didn’t miss it. My mother and father saw it for sure.

We just heard Mark has accepted the invitation and is coming with no plus one. That makes Dave even more convinced he is going to try and do something. I told him he is being ridiculous, but that only made him more defensive and sulky.

Should I have my mother suggest to Mark’s mother he take a pass and not show at the wedding to keep the peace? --- ONE GUEST TOO MANY

DEAR ONE GUEST TOO MANY: I think that would be the wrong thing to do on several levels.

Putting the burden of revoking the invitation through Mark’s mother puts both families in an unnecessarily awkward position. It wouldn’t be fair to Mark’s family or your parents to ask that of them.

Next up, just because Mark is coming solo, it doesn’t mean he’s looking to pry into your relationship with Dave.

Finally, you had a life before you were with your fiancé. Mark was part of that life right into your early adulthood. If your future husband has trouble with Mark or other old flames, how will he deal with any real or imagined admirers you may encounter in your new life together?

Jealousy is the enemy of any long-term relationship. Hopefully Dave will learn to get his jealous tendencies under control, for everyone’s sake.