DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my three-year-old drew on my friend’s new cream-colored sofa with a bright green crayon during a playdate a few weeks ago, I felt so guilty. I told my friend that, of course, I would pay to have the sofa cleaned, and she told me she would let me know how much it costs. Unfortunately, she told me it is a kind of fabric that can only be professionally cleaned.

The bill for it came to nearly $325! When I told her that seemed expensive, she told me she had the armchair cleaned too, since the two toddlers had been playing near it that same day as my daughter marked her sofa, and that she found green crayon marks on that chair as well after my daughter and I went home.

We were both in the room with the two girls the whole time they were playing, and I know for a fact that my daughter was never near the chair. I told my friend that, and she said that she doesn’t know how the marks could have gotten there, then, since her daughter only ever had a pink crayon that day.

I got angry, and told her I don’t think my daughter had anything to do with the marks on the chair. When we finished the call I was still so mad, I texted my husband, and he agreed with me there was no way we should have to pay for cleaning both pieces of furniture. And my mother said my friend could have had a whole new chair for that price.

It has been two weeks now, and I Venmoed her two-thirds of the cost of the cleaning, and she called me asking when I would send her the rest. I told her I was only going to pay for the sofa part of the cleaning, and she hung up on me.

We haven’t spoken since, and that means our girls, who are besties have not been able to play together.

Do you think I did anything wrong, or did my maybe ex-friend just take advantage of the situation with the sofa to get the chair cleaned as well, which is what we all think? --- SOFA ONLY

DEAR SOFA ONLY: Disagreements over money matters have ruined countless relationships, and it looks like that’s where your friendship’s headed now.

I don’t see this as a matter of one of you being more in the right or wrong than the other. When small children are involved things can happen in the blink of an eye, and it’s possible your friend is honestly as convinced your daughter’s crayon did the damage to the chair as you are your daughter was never near the chair during the visit. What might have made a difference is if the marks on the chair were mentioned at the time they were discovered, and certainly before the bill was sent to you.

It’s now up to both you and your friend to decide if this disagreement is worth ending your and your daughters’ friendships over.

Need advice? Please send your questions to Someone Else’s Mom at AskSomeoneElsesMom@gmail.com.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I do customer service for what was a small, but successful software development company. My company was purchased by a medium-sized software venture, which is making a bid at becoming the next Microsoft within five-ten years.

The new corporate team has made it clear, just like Elon Musk did, that they expect all staff to work in-person five days a week.

For me, the change means I have to do a 90 minute-plus drive each way. One of the biggest reasons I even took this job is because its 98 percent (we had to come in for quarterly all-day meetings) remote working policy gave me and my husband the ability to buy a bigger, newer house further out from the major metropolitan center we were both tired of dealing with.

Now I will be putting in a minimum of three hours a day on the road, for the same money, doing the exact same thing I can do from home. This change messes with our childcare arrangements and will mean other big changes for our family’s lifestyle.

I know this is happening to other people also, but I can’t speak for them, even though this change includes most of my coworkers too. I can only say this is the wrong way to run a company and treat your employees.

I already started looking for another job, nearer home, if not remote. But why do companies think they can treat people like this? I enjoyed my job and was working from home two years before the pandemic. I’m also good at it and have built up excellent customer relations, which have been a key in the company’s success. Now I feel I’m being treated like a child who can’t be trusted to work away from the boss’s view! --- LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB

DEAR LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB: Sudden, radical changes in work conditions under new ownership or management are nothing new. I’ve worked in jobs where long-time staff members recalled a very different work environment, where they felt much more valued and appreciated before big changes at the top.

The new larger company is perhaps simply enforcing what are already their policies and philosophies, not maliciously attempting to insult or undervalue the employees they’ve picked up in the takeover.

Hopefully things will turn out well for you and your family. It’s possible the new company will revise their 100 percent in-person rule, but I can certainly understand how you don’t feel you’re in a position to sit tight and see if that happens in the future.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After the family who rented the downstairs apartment moved out, we started seeing random roaches in our kitchen and back bathroom. We never had them before and to say they gross me out is an understatement.

In the past few weeks, we’ve been seeing more and more, even after we contacted the landlord and she called in exterminators who sprayed and put out baits, which they said can take some time to work.

I want to move, but we can’t afford to pay rent for the rest of the 8 months we have on this lease and find another, roach-free place to live if we break the lease here.

I want to call in our own exterminators, because I think the last ones didn’t do a very good job. It’s cheaper than breaking the lease, but my boyfriend says we should just let the original guys have a chance to take care of the problem as they were hired to do.

Do you think he’s right, or shouldn’t we take some steps of our own to get rid of this disgusting infestation? --- HATE ROACHES

DEAR HATE ROACHES: They’re ancient, and some say they’ll be here long after humankind is gone, but that doesn’t mean roaches should be tolerated in your home.

From what I’ve experienced in similar situations, roach extermination treatments do take days, if not weeks, to be effective. Gross as it is to live with them, I believe your boyfriend is right to give what’s already been done a chance.

However, I’d certainly keep the landlord in the loop about how successful or not the treatment she paid for is, especially if pest control is included, as I expect it is, among her responsibilities in the lease.

If you do decide to bring in your own exterminator, it might be a good idea to start with a consultation visit first, so they can see what’s been done so far. You may discover there’s nothing they’d do substantially different than the first exterminators, in which case you face the possibility of spending more money for the same results.