DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother died almost six years ago. She and my dad had a beautiful marriage, and he suffered terribly when she died. We all did. She was a real life force.

Dad started going with “Mary” three years ago. At first they were just friends, but it has become a real romance. Dad told me that he asked Mary to move in with him. He is still in the three-bedroom rambler we were raised, and I know it has been too empty for him for a long time.

Mary said she would consider living with Dad, but wants not to live in the bigger home, when she says her apartment is big enough for the two of them and much cheaper to live in than a whole house. But Dad wants to keep the house so when my brother’s family and the cousins come to visit there’s room for everyone and a place for the kids to play outside in the big backyard.

It also has become a tradition for us to all get together at my dad’s for Thanksgiving, as we often did when my mom was still alive.

I don’t live too far away, have a house and yard big enough to handle visitors, and have told my dad we can move the family gatherings to my place, so if he wants to move in with Mary at her place and sell the house, it’s all good.

But he says he won’t sell, and Mary won’t move in there, and I honestly don’t get why they are both being so stubborn.

Does this mean neither of them is really committed to their relationship? --- don’t GET IT

DEAR DON’T GET IT: It’s possibly a case of one or both of the couple not truly being ready to make too big a shift just yet. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a sufficient level of commitment on either side.

That your dad made the offer to have Mary move into the house he shared with his long-time love tells me that he’s open to the next steps in his newer relationship. And Mary claims to be ready to have your dad move into her place, which she sees as the more practical choice for the couple moving forward.

Whatever the case, it’s up to Mary and your dad to work it out. You’ve covered the angle of providing a family gathering spot, so I’d just give it some time and see where it all goes from here.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I retired late in 2021. We are lucky to be comfortable enough between our pensions and Social Security benefits.

Our son’s in-laws are still both working, being a few years younger than us, and besides that, they make a sh

load of money. He’s some kind of investment analyst and she’s a consultant for NYC hospitals, so it’s no surprise they can afford to shop where they do. We shop at Target and Penney’s, they go to Saks and Bergdorf’s.

Our daughter-in-law is absolutely terrific and totally down-to-earth. She never makes my husband and me feel like we’re any less important than her parents. But we feel like we can’t compete with her parents for baby clothes and other things for our new granddaughter.

I think what we get is perfectly fine, but I also can’t help but think about what else we can do for her in the future. We will never be able to give her a big college fund like the one already started by her other grandparents. They’ll be giving her cruises and we’ll be offering to take her to the Bronx Zoo. You see where we’re going here?

How can we possibly compete with the richer, younger grandparents? --- CAN’T COMPETE

DEAR CAN’T COMPETE: Why do you want to compete?

You shouldn’t feel like you’re in a contest for your granddaughter’s love. If you’re the grandparents who take her to the zoo rather than to the Caribbean, there’s no reason to think you’re shortchanging her. The time you give her is what’s of true value.

And if her mom isn’t into the world of higher-end merchandise, then that may very well be how she’ll raise her daughter.

As long as you’re willing to be in your granddaughter’s life and help her understand that she’s an important and well-loved part of yours, that’s what’ll matter to her. That’s how together you’ll help make the memories you’ll all share and treasure.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife is what my mom calls “a health nut.” She is fit, eats all the right stuff, and practices mindfulness every day.

She is also what I consider addicted to OTC drugs. It isn’t only that she takes a lot of vitamins, which she does. But our bathroom counter is covered with things she takes or uses all the time.

She has eyedrops for allergy eyes and allergy pills, even though I never saw her have any kind of allergy. She takes omega-3, fiber pills, iron, and at least two different multi-vitamins daily. She tells me some are good for her skin, hair, and nails. Some help her concentrate and not gain weight, and a bunch of other things.

I sometimes worry she’s taking too much and too many of these different pills, and that some of them can hurt her if she keeps using them for too long.

When I suggested she talk to her primary care doctor about it all, she told me she always looks everything up to make sure what she’s taking is safe, but that doesn’t make me completely comfortable.

Don’t you think someone should check with their doctor to make sure they’re not messing themselves up with too many OTC drugs? --- JUST WANT HER TO CHECK

DEAR JUST WANT HER TO CHECK: Just about everyone uses OTC drugs at some point, and there are those people for whom they’re part of a daily routine.

In the case of your wife, since she’s taking a variety of different ones on a regular basis, I agree with you that she should run them by her doctor. Iron supplements alone, for instance, can interfere with other meds, especially prescription drugs.

It’s a good thing your wife researches an OTC before she starts using it, but getting a better-informed opinion could help prevent potential problems down the road.