DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My younger brother and all his coworkers just took training on gender identity sensitivity at his job.

He is already a very kind, accepting, nonjudgmental, and empathetic guy, and now he is sweating it every time he meets someone new on the job or socially, especially since some of his coworkers and friends have already have or are in the process of redefining their gender identities. My brother was actually close to tears the other day because he accidentally offended someone by misapplying a pronoun.

I tried telling him so long as he is doing the best he can, he should not feel bad about making innocent, honest mistakes.

Don’t you agree? --- DOESN’T WANT TO OFFEND

DEAR DOESN’T WANT TO OFFEND: I do agree.

It’s not difficult to understand your brother’s predicament. Many of us have found ourselves on the wrong side of trying to avoid offending someone inadvertently.

Your brother is doing the best he can, as you say. Gender terminology and concepts are evolving and involved, and he most certainly needn’t beat himself up over failed best efforts.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son is in graduate school, and since he is only there for a year or so longer, he has kept my house as his mailing address, so most of his mail comes here.

The start of his freshman year, he asked me to keep an eye on his bills and such, to help make sure he doesn’t miss any payments on his car insurance and loan and on his credit card.

He gets electronic notices and makes regular payments on everything so far as I know. So I know he knows where he stands with all his accounts, but he likes having the paper backup coming here just in case.

What gets me worried is his credit card bills. I know he needs to spend money to live. Fortunately a small stipend and a parttime job cover most of his basic costs, since he shares a house with three other grad students. But everything else is getting put on his card, and I don’t know how he is going to be able to pay it and everything else off, especially when he graduates and has six years of student loans to pay off.

So far I have kept my thoughts to myself, but isn’t it part of my job as a parent to at least caution him about building too much debt? --- CREDIT CARD CONCERNS

DEAR CREDIT CARD CONCERNS: Being a parent, it’s natural for you to worry about your son and his financial future.

However, given he’s an adult, it’s basically all on him to manage his finances.

While you can offer him the benefit of your life experience and wisdom, it’s up to him to take it or leave it.

Since he’s asked you to keep an eye on things as his backup, I get the impression he may be open to a little advice, but I’d wait until he asks for it before offering any.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My first boyfriend and I were together all through high school. He was my first, and we survived a pregnancy scare in senior year and a bunch of other stuff, and kept things going through the first year we were away from home for college.

During winter break, on Christmas Eve actually, he told me he has been “seeing” at least three other girls and was going to spend two weeks during this summer with one of them. He said he still wanted to be in my life, but that he just was not ready to make it a lifetime thing.

I took the breakup hard. At least I was home with my family and oldest friends when it happened, and they were so supportive and helped me get through it. I just thought he and I would be together forever, which my dad says is the curse and blessing of first love.

A few weeks before coming home for summer break I started seeing someone I met in one of my classes. He is a really nice guy, and isn’t pressuring me into moving things too fast, which I really appreciate.

I’m just afraid I’m going to fall as deeply in love with him as I did with my first boyfriend, and I know another breakup will probably come, and this time I won’t have all the support I had the first time I went through all that.

How do I not mess things up with the new guy by worrying all the time how our relationship will most likely end, and I will be crushed again? --- SCARED

DEAR SCARED: It’s completely natural to be worried about how things will go with a new romantic interest. But keep in mind the wisdom of your father’s words about the realities of first love. You’ve been there and done that, and now hopefully you’re ready to move on.

I think you’re right to take things slow and at a pace you’re comfortable with. Just please try to go into the new relationship with an open mind and careful heart. There’re no guarantees this will be for keeps either, but rather than assuming from the very beginning it won’t work out with this new guy, you’ll be less likely to sabotage what could be a good thing if you take it one step at a time.