DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother-in-law just turned 67. She dresses and acts much younger, and it seems kind of weird to my husband and me.
She is divorced and has been for a long time, but now she just started talking about getting out in the dating world more, since she and the guy she had been with broke up when he moved closer to his son’s family somewhere out in the Mid-West, where my mother-in-law had no interest going to.
I love my mother-in-law, and don’t want to hurt her feelings, but it might be better if she hears she’s acting weird for someone her age from people who love her and respect her.
My husband suggested she and I go shopping for more age-appropriate clothes and do a make-up redo for a more appropriate look for someone her age.
Is that a little too much? I think it is, but sitting her down and telling her she may not be coming off the way she thinks she is could be the only thing to save her being embarrassed if she does get back into dating.
Which do you think is the right way to handle this? --- DON’T WANT HER EMBARRASSED
DEAR DON’T WANT HER EMBARRASSED: I’m pretty sure neither the proposed “talking to” or shopping/make-up excursion is appropriate or called for.
Your mother-in-law’s a grown woman, with her own ideas of self-image and plans for how she wants to run her life.
It’s not a bad thing you’re worried about how others will see her. That shows you and her son care about her happiness. But I can’t think of too many adults who wouldn’t be inclined to take offense at an involuntary make-over or a stern talking to — no matter how well-intentioned.