DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We started our family when my husband and I were in our late 30s. To make up for lost time, we planned our two pregnancies close together, meaning our two boys are less than 18 months apart.

Both our boys went all out into sports when they were kids. Whatever his big brother did, the younger one had to follow on. They both played soccer, baseball, and spent most of their summer vacations from school in camps to improve their sports skills. One boy excelled in soccer, the other in baseball, although they both worked hard at both sports. Our younger boy even got to play with his brother on the varsity team because he was pulled up from junior varsity in his sophomore year to round out the roster.

Our older boy helped his varsity team make it to the state championship in soccer, and his brother was both an all-county all-star and on the all-state baseball team because of his pitching.

I know the boys love each other and would do anything for the other one, but they have always been so damn competitive, it drives their dad and me crazy. It started when our younger boy was 6 and started playing t-ball, and got worse all the time growing up. It was mostly about sports, but it regularly spilled over into school grades, early jobs, and just about anything else. If one did a thing that got some attention, the other had to do something similar, if not better. To this day they have to top one another in sometimes crazy ways.

Within three months of his older brother becoming engaged, his younger brother popped the question to his girlfriend. Now they are both planning weddings four months apart for next year.

Next up my husband and I joke will be a baby derby, which we don’t mind, as we both look forward to being grandparents and we love both our future daughters-in-law. But it gets exhausting sometimes, this always having to compete.

Do you guess there will ever be a time when they will just be happy being brothers, and not have to be a step ahead of each other? --- HOPING FOR A BREAK IN THE COMPETITIONS

DEAR HOPING FOR A BREAK IN THE COMPETITIONS: My simple answer is that although it may wax and wane, I doubt your sons will completely back away from their competitiveness anytime soon, if ever.

This isn’t to say they can’t or won’t be each other’s best ally through life’s ups and downs. And, while it’s sometimes wearing on those around them, there might potentially be some positive points in their ongoing competition if it results in each young man raising his game and continuing to grow, if just to keep in step — or slightly ahead — of his brother.

So long as your sons get along in most contexts, and particularly are willing to help each other if the time ever comes when they’ll need to pull together, I don’t suppose there’s too much to fret over what sounds like a fairly standard case of sibling rivalry.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband has got the idea that his new YouTube channel is going to make him a millionaire in, like, a year. He does reviews of cars and gives tips on maintaining both new and older models. He genuinely knows his sh#t, but so do a ton of other people out there.

So far he gets a few hundred views when he first drops a new video, and has just over 1000 subscribers. He’s been at it for six months and that result isn’t exactly viral.

He wants to become a YouTube Partner, but his numbers are not there yet. I can see how over time, he might make a little money eventually. But he is banking on what he makes to be the downpayment and monthly mortgage payments for a house for us, and he means something in the mini-mansion range.

I want to support him in his dream, but he gets his hopes up so high, I fear he just isn’t looking at the realities of the chances of living off YouTube. He talks about giving up his job to be able to put more time into his channel. That’s where I drew the line.

We fought for two days over it, until he finally said okay, he will keep on working. But it was like I was chaining him to his desk.

Was I wrong to keep him working for sure money instead of chasing “maybe” money? I feel guilty a little bit, like I am crushing his dream. --- HITTING IT BIG ON YOUTUBE

DEAR HITTING IT BIG ON YOUTUBE: I’m with you on this one. A little quick research revealed the expected peak run for even fairly successful YouTubers is 3-5 years, which isn’t long enough to pay off the mortgage on a mini-mansion, unless he really hits it big fast and keeps the channel’s momentum going.

While it sounds like your husband’s channel is still in its early stages, unless there’s enough money to pay the bills coming in on a regular basis, to me the more logical strategy is for him to continue to add to his channel’s content and subscriber/viewer base during his non-work hours.

In time, it’s not at all impossible he’ll make a significant income off his efforts and his expertise, but until that’s the case, I’d advise he sticks with the day job.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of my brothers had some mild learning disabilities when he was little. He was able to start to manage them early, thanks to some excellent teachers and programs in school. He still has to work harder than many people with some things, but overall, he’s doing very well in life.

Our own son was recently identified as having mild to moderate learning and physical disabilities through the local school system’s special ed screening program. I saw that he was behind what other kids in his preschool were able to do, and some of what they did easily when using their hands, for example, seriously challenged our three-year-old. His pediatrician had already noted our son was missing some of his developmental benchmarks, and backed us 100 percent in getting him screened.

It has been an adjustment for my husband and me, to think our son will have a harder time in life, at least during his early years. We now have him in speech, physical, and occupational therapy, and all these therapies will continue to be provided when he gets to the special ed preschool nearest our home in the fall, and I am deeply grateful we live in an area where so many early childhood services are available to us at no cost.

I sometimes think my parents are also having a difficult time with our son’s situation. I believe it makes them think about my brother’s experience and how some of what they were told to do and did on their own undoubtedly made a difference to him back when he was a kid and still do now he is an adult.

But what they don’t seem to understand is that the two sets of circumstances are very different. Our son is facing more severe challenges than my brother.

Since our son was identified as having disabilities my parents have started buying little things they are totally convinced will help move our son along in his development. Some of the items are on target, but most only make him more frustrated. For example, they bought him shoes with laces, positive that by learning to tie shoelaces early, he’ll be able to manage other fine motor skills more readily. It worked with my brother, but unfortunately, is not doing anything for our son, other than frustrating him. The same can be said for some of the toys and puzzles they gave him.

Both my husband and I have tried to talk to my parents to ask them to back off a little. We don’t want to make a big deal of this, but we are working on a very specific set of goals and skill-building that they just don’t seem to get.

What do we do to convince them we’ve got this? --- NOT HELPING

DEAR NOT HELPING: It’s clear your parents’ intentions are to help, so rather than telling them what won’t work for your son right now, perhaps you can guide them towards the kinds of tools that are recommended by the providers with whom your son’s working.

Also, since they have experience with a child with special needs, even though those needs differ from your son’s, they can still be an invaluable resource. If they live locally or visit your home regularly, it mightn’t be a bad idea to draft them into directly supporting some of the at-home therapeutic portions of your son’s program. Seeing first-hand what helps the most in your son’s case may make all the difference in how your parents approach both his strengths and disabilities.