DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My Grammy was one of my all-time favorite people. It hit me hard when she passed suddenly last year.

Now all that pain is right back, and worse, because my grandfather has told us he has asked a woman from the senior center to marry him in just a few weeks, when it will not even be a year since Grammy passed.

When my mom told me Gramp’s plans, I could tell it was not easy for her either. She said she met the woman and she seems like a very nice person. I think my mom was trying to hide her true feelings from me so I will not get real upset. It has got to hurt her even more than it hurts me.

I told her how bad this hurts, but she said we have to just accept this is his decision and he has the right to live his own life.

How can he move on so fast from the incredible woman he loved for nearly 60 years? I don’t get it, and it hurts! --- HOW COULD HE FORGET GRAMMY SO SOON?

DEAR HOW COULD HE FORGET GRAMMY SO SOON?: It’s hard to lose someone you dearly love, as you’ve already learned; and your grandfather’s loss was huge.

After so many years together, I very much doubt your grandfather will ever forget the woman with whom he built and lived a life.

His remarrying isn’t an indication the torch he carries for your grandmother is burning any less brightly. As I see it, it most likely demonstrates he’s seeking a companion who hopefully can understand him and at least some of his experiences.

There’s a kind of safety in numbers, and for your grandfather, it may be being one of two beats being one alone.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have always wanted to go to Bermuda, and my boyfriend has booked a trip there to celebrate our third anniversary together.

What I don’t like about the plan is it just happens to be where he and his ex-wife also had their honeymoon, and he has often told me about what a great time they had there.

My sister and a couple of my friends think this is more than a vacation, and that my boyfriend will propose to me while we are there. I’m ready for the proposal, but am also weirded out and annoyed by his picking the same place where he and his ex-wife spent their honeymoon.

Am I being weird, or is he? I am also a little disappointed he couldn’t be more creative in his planning. --- ANYPLACE BUT BERMUDA

DEAR ANYPLACE BUT BERMUDA: I see why your boyfriend’s choice feels a bit off, but he might have valid, completely non-sentimental reasons for picking his former honeymoon destination to spend special time with you.

While it may show a lack of imagination or an unwillingness to investigate other vacation venues, returning to a previously visited destination has some advantages.

For one thing, you said you’ve always wanted to go to Bermuda, and it happens to be an island your boyfriend’s presumably familiar with, even if his last visit was several years ago. There’s something to be said for having a travel companion with even a basic knowledge of a location completely new to you. In this case your boyfriend could act as an amateur tour guide. It’s possible he can save time and money by tailoring your get-away to your specific interests and budget.

Still, to set your mind at ease, or conversely to validate your worries, I think it’d be a good idea to have an open discussion with him about why he picked Bermuda, and why you’re not comfortable with his having chosen it. If an engagement is imminent, you two should already know how to successfully communicate if you hope to have a healthy marriage.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife and I used to think it was almost funny how fast and often my cousin would sue for damages for anything and everything she thought she could get away with.

We stopped thinking it was funny when we got notice last week that she is suing us over a “slip and fall” on our front steps when she visited us right after an ice storm this winter.

That day we knew she was coming, along with her mother, my mother, and my mother-in-law and her boyfriend. So I treated the sidewalk and front steps (all three of them!), and even scraped the iron handrail.

Everybody got to our place within a few minutes of each other, and the only person who seemed to have any trouble whatsoever with getting safely into our house was my cousin, who claims she slipped on a patch of ice on the edge of the top step and fell, banging her knee, which she claims gave her a limp. She told us she fell at the time, although none of us saw it happen, and we offered her some ice, but she never said anything about being seriously in pain or injured at the time. There was no bruise or scrape on her knee, and we didn’t hear anything more about it until we got the word from her lawyer that a suit was being brought against my wife and me for not keeping our steps clear and safe.

I find this all too much, and even my aunt says her daughter has gone too far this time and has told her so, although it made no difference. To my cousin, it’s like it’s nothing personal, just her way to cover her “medical bills” and make up for “lost work time,” which I also never heard of until we were served, even though we have all been together a few times since “the slip and fall.”

So far we haven’t even talked to my cousin since getting the legal notice. I think I’ll blow up if I do, so my wife says to just let our insurance company and the lawyer we felt we had to hire take care of it. She hates the whole thing too, but she says I’m taking this personally, when it’s just how my cousin makes extra money.

I still think I have a right to face my cousin with how I feel about what she’s doing. Don’t you think I do? --- SUED BY MY COUSIN

DEAR SUED BY MY COUSIN: I agree with your wife that it’d be best, at least until the case is settled one way or another, to have no communications with your cousin.

Think about it — her own mother’s told her she’s gone too far. Why would your cousin be more inclined to be swayed by you?

If she’s playing a game she’s won at in the past, it’s not likely you’ll achieve anything by directly confronting her at this time beyond getting your anger off your chest — which may come at the cost of giving fuel to her fire.