DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have always wanted to go to Bermuda, and my boyfriend has booked a trip there to celebrate our third anniversary together.
What I don’t like about the plan is it just happens to be where he and his ex-wife also had their honeymoon, and he has often told me about what a great time they had there.
My sister and a couple of my friends think this is more than a vacation, and that my boyfriend will propose to me while we are there. I’m ready for the proposal, but am also weirded out and annoyed by his picking the same place where he and his ex-wife spent their honeymoon.
Am I being weird, or is he? I am also a little disappointed he couldn’t be more creative in his planning. --- ANYPLACE BUT BERMUDA
DEAR ANYPLACE BUT BERMUDA: I see why your boyfriend’s choice feels a bit off, but he might have valid, completely non-sentimental reasons for picking his former honeymoon destination to spend special time with you.
While it may show a lack of imagination or an unwillingness to investigate other vacation venues, returning to a previously visited destination has some advantages.
For one thing, you said you’ve always wanted to go to Bermuda, and it happens to be an island your boyfriend’s presumably familiar with, even if his last visit was several years ago. There’s something to be said for having a travel companion with even a basic knowledge of a location completely new to you. In this case your boyfriend could act as an amateur tour guide. It’s possible he can save time and money by tailoring your get-away to your specific interests and budget.
Still, to set your mind at ease, or conversely to validate your worries, I think it’d be a good idea to have an open discussion with him about why he picked Bermuda, and why you’re not comfortable with his having chosen it. If an engagement is imminent, you two should already know how to successfully communicate if you hope to have a healthy marriage.