DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am torn about what jewelry to wear on my wedding day.

My mother wants me to wear the necklace she wore to her and my dad’s wedding, and my future mother-in-law wants me to wear her mother’s necklace, which both she and her mother wore on the days they got married.

I am all for tradition and all, but I had already picked out something I wanted to wear, which my fiancé gave me when we celebrated our first dating anniversary. It is also an heirloom piece, but one he picked up from an estate sale jeweler, who told him this whole sweet story about how the necklace had been worn by a woman all her happily married life, which lasted over 70 years. That the story is possibly real makes it special to me, and that he picked it out and gave it to me makes it even more special.

I don’t want to offend my mother or my future mother-in-law, but I also kind of have my heart set on wearing the necklace I was given by the man I love.

How do I pull this off without offending someone? --- PICKED MY OWN NECKLACE

DEAR PICKED MY OWN NECKLACE: You and your future husband are already having an early lesson in family politics; and this is a good opportunity to set the tone for how you want to arrange your future life together.

It’s generous of the two mothers to offer their precious pieces for your use. Hopefully, you’ve shared your gratitude with them both. But you owe it to yourself and your groom to have the wedding you two envision.

Something that may perhaps make your choice easier for the mothers to accept is if you can work in wearing their jewelry at some key point during the wedding festivities, such as at the rehearsal dinner or morning-after brunch, if you’re having those events.

Another suggestion is for you to let them know you’d be pleased and honored to see them wear their own wedding jewelry on your big day, as a way to bring a touch of both continuity and good fortune to your and your husband’s marriage.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: While I don’t consider my husband or myself to be super strict parents, we agree it just makes sense to have parental controls on all our kids’ devices and on our streaming services.

Our oldest son is now 12. He and “Tyler” have been BFFs since they were in second grade. Tyler’s a great kid, but I know his parents are much more lax about monitoring what he and his older sisters are streaming and accessing online. The girls are mostly unsupervised from what our son tells me, and the same goes for Tyler.

I don’t want to be the overly-controlling parent, but I do want to have some idea what my son is being exposed to when he’s at Tyler’s, if for no other reason than to be able to help him make some sense of what’s out there with a balanced, healthy approach.

I also don’t want to forbid him from being with Tyler, which I know would only cause more problems. And I especially don’t want to bring Tyler’s parents into this. They have their way of raising their own children, and that’s their right.

What can I do to get a better handle on this situation? --- WANT TO MONITOR WHAT’S BEING WATCHED

DEAR WANT TO MONITOR WHAT’S BEING WATCHED: I think I’d try a variation on the if-you-can’t-beat-them-join-them philosophy.

I’d start with encouraging Tyler to visit your house more often, where you could keep better tabs on what the boys watch and play.

Tyler might hack some of your parental controls if he’s truly determined, but if things can be worked out so that the boys are less secluded and able to be supervised at least some of the time, they may find things of interest in the more family-friendly entertainments you approve of for your own kids.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have stayed in touch with my high school boyfriend. We mutually ended our official status the second year of college, when it was clear he had no intention of returning to the area we grew up in and where I still live.

Not long ago, he did move back with the man he started seeing shortly before coming back here. I like his new boyfriend, and we all get along well. My old friend and I especially have gotten to be good friends again, and he sometimes tells me some things he isn’t comfortable telling his boyfriend, because as he says, we go back so far but they are still getting to know each other and he doesn’t want to scare him off.

One of the things he told me is he is in serious credit card debt. He especially doesn’t want anyone else to know because he thinks if it gets back to his parents, they’ll lay into him about how immature and ignorant he is. They have a super difficult relationship, and have for as long as I can remember.

I don’t mind my old friend telling me things, but I think he also needs to share this kind of stuff with his current boyfriend. I mean, isn’t that what relationships are all about? I would never say anything to the new guy, but wouldn’t you tell my friend the same thing? --- NEEDS TO TELL HIS BOYFRIEND

DEAR NEEDS TO TELL HIS BOYFRIEND: That your friend isn’t sharing with his significant other something as important as his sweating about credit card debt may appear strange, but it isn’t unusual. He could feel ashamed, and/or he’s dreading being judged by his boyfriend as much as he fears having to hear it from his parents, who don’t sound like the most supportive people in his life.

Talking openly to him about why he’s holding back with his boyfriend seems like a reasonable first step. On the surface, already keeping secrets doesn’t bode well for a healthy long-term relationship, and there could be other motives beyond not wanting to scare the new guy off.

Once you determine what’s really going on, your advice to him may be different, or, it’d possibly give you even more reason to make a case with your friend to open up to the man in his life.