DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Part of my A.A. recovery program is to attempt to make amends to and ask forgiveness from those I have hurt along the way because of my addiction.

It has been one of the most painful parts of the process, but I have been able to take steps towards undoing some of the damage I did with many of the key people in my life.

The one main exception is a super good friend I have had since we were little kids. At first he stuck with me through the earlier stages of my addiction and tried to help me beat it. After I did some s###ty stuff to him, some of which I only vaguely remember, he cut me off, which I completely get. What hurts now is how he has decided he cannot and never will forgive me for some of what I did before I began my recovery.

How do I get through to him that I am working hard to keep my alcoholism at bay, and want him to be part of my life again? --- TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING

DEAR TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING: I applaud and support your efforts to recover and take control of your addiction. But it might not be reasonable to expect all those who suffered as a result of your previous actions and behaviors to be able to forgive you. It could come in time, or it may never happen at all.

This doesn’t mean your old friend no longer has feelings for you, even though he isn’t currently ready or able to accept your apology.

Perhaps eventually, you can try to reach out to him again. In the meanwhile keep on your better path, and appreciate all the support you currently have on your journey, and all the progress you’ve already made.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When we had children, my husband and I decided to have them baptized and introduced to the basic tenets of Christianity through Sunday services, Sunday school, and youth groups. Beyond that, we believed it was up to our children to decide their own spiritual way when they were old enough to do so.

Our daughter is engaged to a great guy. Both my husband and I think he is perfect for our daughter, and we couldn’t be happier for her, except for one thing.

Our future son-in-law’s parents are observant Conservative Jews, which is not in the least a problem for us, except they are leaning heavily on our daughter to convert to Judaism. That would also be fine with us, if it was okay with our daughter.

She has told her future parents-in-law she has no intention of taking that step, at least not at this time, and it has become a major issue between her and them. Her not converting means they can’t have their rabbi perform the marriage ceremony.

To try and keep the peace, our future son-in-law reached out to a Reformed rabbi he knows, and our daughter contacted our pastor. Both are happy to officiate, or co-officiate, at the ceremony. That seems like a reasonable solution, which would cover both faiths at the wedding. The idea was not exactly a hit with the groom’s parents, unfortunately.

I feel bad for our daughter and future son-in-law. He is especially caught in the middle of this whole thing. He had told our daughter, in front of us even, that he doesn’t care if she converts. He isn’t all that religious anyway, and while he likes the idea of having a rabbi at the ceremony for his family’s sake, he doesn’t see himself as committed enough to Conservative Judaism to make it worth our daughter converting.

Is this an issue we should take up with his family, or just keep out of it all, as we have already been doing since the subject was first raised? --- PRACTICING SILENCE IS GOLDEN

DEAR PRACTICING SILENCE IS GOLDEN: I honestly don’t see what your and your husband’s getting involved in this matter will do to help the situation. It’s between the engaged couple and the groom’s family to work out.

What I do see as being of help is for you and your husband to continue to be supportive of the couple’s decisions, and, when needed, provide a neutral sounding board and refuge from the pressures that they may be encountering elsewhere.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have an older brother, who was diagnosed with maladaptive daydreaming about 15 years ago. He is in his seventies, and even now he just goes off into his own little world by the hour, and has for as long as I can remember. The doctors told him he has it because he suffered from PTSD after being in Vietnam, and that it was just his way of coping. He has made progress in controlling the daydreaming, but it still takes him away from the here and now way too much.

I have been seeing that my eight-year-old grandson seems to do something like what my brother does. It scares me, and if I say anything to my daughter, she says it’s fine, and it’s normal. She says he’s just extremely creative, and will tell her stories about a whole world he’s made up and has adventures in.

Once I started seeing more and more of how my grandson is behaving, I thought it would be a good idea to research what my brother has been dealing with to see if it fit in with my grandson. What I learned is people with this condition act exactly the way my brother does, and what I see my grandson doing now.

I want my daughter and her husband to get my grandson checked out, but they said they talked to their son’s teachers and the school counselor about it and that they said it is perfectly normal, since he does his work, is social in class, and pays attention when called to do so. But, I don’t believe his teachers and school counselors are qualified to make a diagnosis.

How do I convince my daughter that there may be a real danger here, especially since there are some studies that say maladaptive daydreaming can be genetic? --- FEARFUL FOR MY GRANDSON

DEAR FEARFUL FOR MY GRANDSON: While it’s understandable that you’re concerned for your grandson, it sounds like his daydreaming is something his parents are also well aware of; and based on their having discussed the issue with his teachers and the counselor, it’s also something they’re already taking steps to monitor.

Having seen a near relative with a particular condition or pattern of behavior will naturally put you on guard on the behalf of other loved ones. But for now, I think you need to trust that your grandson’s parents are keeping an eye on things, which leaves you free to enjoy the time you get to spend with him.