DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Part of my A.A. recovery program is to attempt to make amends to and ask forgiveness from those I have hurt along the way because of my addiction.
It has been one of the most painful parts of the process, but I have been able to take steps towards undoing some of the damage I did with many of the key people in my life.
The one main exception is a super good friend I have had since we were little kids. At first he stuck with me through the earlier stages of my addiction and tried to help me beat it. After I did some s###ty stuff to him, some of which I only vaguely remember, he cut me off, which I completely get. What hurts now is how he has decided he cannot and never will forgive me for some of what I did before I began my recovery.
How do I get through to him that I am working hard to keep my alcoholism at bay, and want him to be part of my life again? --- TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING
DEAR TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING: I applaud and support your efforts to recover and take control of your addiction. But it might not be reasonable to expect all those who suffered as a result of your previous actions and behaviors to be able to forgive you. It could come in time, or it may never happen at all.
This doesn’t mean your old friend no longer has feelings for you, even though he isn’t currently ready or able to accept your apology.
Perhaps eventually, you can try to reach out to him again. In the meanwhile keep on your better path, and appreciate all the support you currently have on your journey, and all the progress you’ve already made.