DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: The day I got my first car, my dad had me show him that I could change a flat tire, check the oil, and understand everything on the dashboard.

Of course, these days computer chips will tell you when some things need to be taken care of, but they can’t change a tire, put in some oil, replace windshield wipers, and just plain put water in the radiator.

I have told my kids (ages 19-31) that there is a lot to be said for being able to understand some of the simplest workings of your car, not to mention how to deal with some problems all on your own, especially if it comes down to your needing to do so.

Why are kids from their generation so happy to be ignorant about things that can be not just useful, but very important sometimes? --- THEY JUST DON’T GET IT

DEAR THEY JUST DON’T GET IT: While I’m far from mechanically savvy, I agree with you that it’s important for laymen to be able to handle some basic car maintenance — just in case. More than once, I’ve had to change a tire, and I’ve long considered it a skill well worth having.

Part of the issue now-a-days is something you already mentioned. Cars are programmed to monitor increasing numbers of routine functions. It’s also easy for people to pull up how-tos on their phones or other devices as needed.

However, that’s no substitution for being able to handle real-life emergent situations like safely putting on a spare tire or topping off an overheating radiator, especially if you don’t happen to have Wi-Fi access when troubles arise. I think it’s a good idea to remind your adult children that knowing how to do these things could very well save them time and trouble one day.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother went into a depression when both her parents died within a year of each other. She was beyond close with them, even taking care of her dad right up until he died while he was living with my mom and her husband.

Her regular doctor had her go to a psychiatrist to get evaluated for depression after she started losing weight, not sleeping well, and finding she was having problems concentrating, and the bloodwork she ordered all came back looking normal.

My mother started taking the meds prescribed by the psychiatrist, who diagnosed her for sure as having situational depression. At first they made her sleepy, and then more anxious instead of less. She started having very dark thoughts, and when the doctor wanted to switch up the meds to ones he thought might work better for her and have fewer side effects, Mom shut down on taking meds altogether, because she was afraid that any other pills would make her worse.

I can truly appreciate where she’s coming from, but now it’s going on half a year since she started going downhill herself, and everyone in the family thinks she needs something to help her. She recently started therapy — at long last, but doesn’t have much faith in it.

How much should everyone who cares about her push to get her on the right kinds of meds? We all live nearby and can watch for any red flags, and from personal experience from both myself and close friends, the right meds can make all the difference. --- NEEDS HER MEDS

DEAR NEEDS HER MEDS: I too have seen how the right combination of meds and therapy can make a positive difference; but I’ve also known those who had a terrifying experience with the wrong prescriptions.

That your mom has started therapy is a good thing, and perhaps in time she’ll consider venturing into supplementing her talk therapy with medications. For now, while it’s a good thing you’re keeping an eye on her, I would give the therapy a chance to help her improve, and avoid pressuring her into doing something that she’s not currently ready to do.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We live in a Boston suburb, where all the homes have oil-burning furnaces. Even though we are signed up for a budget plan which we pay all year round so we don’t get crushed each time the oil truck arrives in the cold months, our bill has gone up over a hundred dollars more a month than it was this same time last year. One way we try to save some money is to turn the heat down while everyone is out of the house for work or school and then again overnight when everyone’s tucked into bed. We also all layer up to keep warmer and we keep the house at 68 until bedtime, which I don’t find uncomfortable.

When my parents come up for a visit from their home where they retired to in South Carolina, they freeze if we don’t keep the thermostat set to 72 all day and night. They both spent most of their lives here in New England, but for the past 10 years, haven’t had to deal with the winters we have up here, unlike my in-laws, who retired to Maine and love the cold and winter. So when they come, we keep the house the way we usually keep it, at 68 daytime and 62 overnight.

My parents are due to visit in mid-February, and my husband has already started saying we can’t afford to crank the heat to 72 for the two or three weeks they’re here. Normally they wait until it’s warmer to come our way, but they will be staying with my sister in California all spring to help her after she has some surgery.

I don’t want to get into a big battle with my husband, but I know he’s going to say we have to keep to our “conservation plan” as he calls it.

Don’t you think it is totally reasonable to make sure my parents are comfortable while they visit? It’s just a few weeks out of the heating season, and my husband makes it sound like we’re turning our house into a resort by just making it more comfortable for my parents. --- WANT THEM COMFORTABLE

DEAR WANT THEM COMFORTABLE: I believe your concern for your guests’ comfort is correct. It’s also not hard to see where your husband’s coming from, especially since I too live in an oil-heated home. But for me, good hosts make the comfort of their guests a priority. It’s a kind of golden rule for visitors.

There’s room for compromise in this situation. For instance, a safe space heater or two properly placed could be very useful. One can be set up where your parents will be sleeping, enabling you to reduce the overnight temperature as you normally do.

You might also want to have a couple wraps or sweaters available to loan your now Southern family members, because even if you make your home warmer than usual, they may still feel the New England chill.