DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My husband and I often watch our grandchildren after school, especially when their parents travel for work or pleasure.
Last week our 13-year-old granddaughter was at a “friend’s” house and the friend’s mother came home to find the girls drinking hard liquor from the usually locked liquor cabinet. It would appear that the girl got hold of the key and had a copy made.
Because our granddaughter didn’t want her folks to know what happened, she gave the friend’s mother our phone number to call when she asked for her parents’ number.
My son and daughter-in-law are not super strict, but I can just imagine what they would do if they found out their 13-year-old daughter was drinking hard liquor.
My husband and I both gave her a chewing out and stern talking to, and I think it should end there. But my husband strongly believes we should tell our son and his wife what happened. I think that will at the very least prevent our granddaughter from ever trusting us again, and at the worst, make her hate us.
Do you think it’s better to let her have us in her confidence, and just make it clear that the next time we tell her parents, or do we go ahead and tell them what happened right now? --- DON’T WANT TO TELL
DEAR DON’T WANT TO TELL: While I can understand your desire to keep in your granddaughter’s confidence and good opinion, I also believe her parents should know what happened and be given the opportunity to deal with this issue as they see fit. Think how you’d feel if the same thing had happened with your son when he was a kid. Wouldn’t you want to know?
You’ve already reprimanded your granddaughter, so she knows you’re not pleased with her actions. She may already be seeing you in a different light, not as the ever-indulgent grandparents, but as adults who are part of the team helping raise her.