DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am absolutely furious with my daughter and son-in-law! When I asked them what they needed or could use for Christmas last year, they said they had a few things around their house they wanted to take care of. It seemed reasonable. They live in an older house in an older neighborhood filled with young couples like them, so everyone is always doing something to their houses and property.
When I didn’t hear from either of them for a couple of weeks, I texted them to make sure everything was OK. My daughter answered that they were fine, and that they had just returned from a week in Cancun, Mexico!
If they were crying poor when talking about funds for home improvements and repairs, how could they suddenly afford an expensive vacation? Don’t you think I have the right to know how my money was spent? --- DIDN’T INTEND TO PAY FOR A VACATION
DEAR DIDN’T INTEND TO PAY FOR A VACATION: As much as you don’t like the idea of your gift being used for something other than what it was earmarked for, it was a gift, and once you gave it, it became the property of your daughter and son-in-law, to be used as they decide to use it.
But before jumping to the conclusion that their Mexico vacation was on your dime, you might take into account they paid for the trip with funds other than the ones you gave them, and your gift was or still will be used for the purpose you intended.
Give it a little time to see if their improvement projects begin to take shape. If so, then well and good. If not, think twice before giving them any more outright monetary gifts if how they use the cash is going to be a problem for you.