DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even though I have always done well in school, I have never loved it. Most of my friends have never seen any other path than the one that leads to college and even advanced degrees, but that’s just not for me.

I applied to five different schools, mostly to please my parents. I was accepted by all, and the one my parents were most excited about offered me an awesome scholarship. It’s everything my parents wanted, but not what I want.

When I told them I declined the scholarship and have no plans to go to college, at least not for now, both my mom and my stepfather flipped. My dad and stepmother were less upset about it, but they still were not happy.

It isn’t like I do not have a plan. I have enrolled in an online software engineering program, the first two semesters of which I am able to afford thanks to money left to me by my granddad. I did extensive research to find the best program, and even worked with my guidance counselor to figure the best next steps for me. He offered to meet with my parents and myself to discuss my choice, but I think it would not make much difference to them and their idea that I am making a big mistake.

Why don’t they get that I know what I am doing? --- I’VE GOT THIS

DEAR I’VE GOT THIS: I believe most parents have their own projections of where they see their kids heading after they finish high school and beyond. It may be a matter of allowing your folks some time to let your gameplan sink in.

What I believe has a good chance of helping, although you’re doubtful, is to set up that meeting between your parents and your guidance counselor. Your counselor is a lot closer to the current realities of the job market and the array of post-high school options than your parents are likely to be. Hearing from a professional educator and counselor might tip the scales in your favor with your folks. At the very least, it’s possible they’d be more convinced you did seriously consider your options and are pursuing an entirely valid course that feels right to you.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Out of everyone in my family, I’m the only one who gives a crap about what’s really happening in this world. They all just go along with everything and say stuff about how it’ll all right itself in the end. My mother is especially like that, and I sometimes can’t figure out how I came to care so much when she doesn’t care at all.

My baby sister is getting married late this summer, and she asked my mom to tell me that for everyone’s sake, it would be better if I and my girlfriend, who feels about most things the way I do, did not come to the wedding. My mom said that because of what happened at the last couple of family gatherings, she agrees it would only end up in my fighting with everyone else about their indifference.

Doesn’t this smack of hypocrisy, especially since my family is made up of mostly “good God-fearing Christians”? --- BANNED FROM WEDDING

DEAR BANNED FROM WEDDING: You’re clearly someone with passionate convictions, and being willing to take a strong stand on issues can be a good thing; but so too is having the ability to discuss and appreciate topics other than those that you’re fired up about.

You may find you’ll be better received by your family and others if you develop a knack for toning it down some, which isn’t a betrayal of your beliefs. Rather, it’s an acknowledgement that the world is made up of all kinds of people with an incredibly wide range of opinions and convictions, and you can both learn from and perhaps even educate others in your way of thinking if you work towards being less vehement and more accepting of the fact that the majority of the people you know don’t share your priorities.

In the case of your sister’s wedding, it’s her day, and it isn’t hypocrisy for her and the rest of your family to want to avoid a potential disruption of it.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My cousin and I have a tradition of vacationing together that goes back to when we were still kids. Our families would rent a cabin in a state park halfway between her house and mine. We made a ton of great memories and promised to continue the tradition when we were grown up.

As much as I love and enjoy being with my cousin, we are very different people. Her idea of a good time is clubbing and (my dad’s favorite word) “shenanigans,” while mine is sightseeing and binging on favorite shows. In the past, we ended up going on vacations that didn’t have enough of either option, and if the trips weren’t a waste of time and money, they were disappointments anyway.

This will be the first time in three years that we’ll have the same time off together this summer. She wants to go to Boston and has been looking into places to stay near some of her old college hangouts. I wanted to go to North Carolina’s Outer Banks, where we went one time with our families when we were both teenagers and I remember really enjoying.

As a compromise, I proposed we each take a couple extra days and do a mini-road trip, with us spending a few days in each place. We could either hop an extra flight between places or do a one-way car rental. We’re both good with the extra expense, since we haven’t gone anywhere in a long time, and we both banked enough PTO to pull it off.

I think this is a good compromise because both destinations have plenty of each of our favorite ways to spend time, but my cousin is still holding fast to her Boston plan.

Don’t you think my suggestion has the best potential of making us both happy? --- DOWN FOR SPLITTING TIME

DEAR DOWN FOR SPLITTING TIME: I do like your idea of a few days in each spot so you both get time with your favorite pursuits. However, since it doesn’t look like an acceptable plan to your cousin, perhaps another option would be to rotate who gets to pick the vacation destination, with the first trip determined by a coin toss or other classic method with 50-50 odds. One qualification should be that the other person’s preferences must be considered when picking the location.

If suitable compromises can’t be reached, it may be time to step back from shared vacations and find other ways to get together in the future.